Put tape over the mouthpiece or earpiece of her desk phone. Call her. Hilarity will ensue.
Don’t let her get to the point of calling maintenance, though. 
So this problem *hasn’t *been solved with fire?
Sounds like it might be resolved by candlelight and roses, actually. Does that count?
The best thing to do with roaches is to attach them to fishing line, the attach to an object. I find donuts are ideal! This way, the donut is grabbed and the roach appears to scurry. For a brief second, it’s the most disgusting thing!
Also, a roach at the bottom of a coffee mug is great, but can often make a huge mess.
Even though this is probably now moot, I have to agree that fire is certainly the first and best answer, but in the event your religion precludes fire-based solutions on this date, then even better than dirt would be baby powder, flour, chalk dust, or other fine powder. You might need to repeat occaisionally, but it should keep the shoes from sticking.
And I also think that honor compels you to clean and return the shoes. With something extra special inside. You don’t want to establish a precedent of having to clean up all your pranks on her while she doesn’t have to fix the problems she causes.
For your next prank you should dip her pigtails in the inkwell on her desk! giggle
[sub]Og, that’s an old reference, inkwells were even before my time.[/sub]
For ten bucks, you could do this…
We use doublesided tape at work all the time, and the Zippo lighter fluid is what we use to remove residue. Don’t get Ronson’s, it smells really bad. Really bad. We have Goo Gone, but it is not as effective, and it leaves a residue. The lighter fluid just evaporates.
Do this. I found this out by accident after ripping off the umpteeth sticker off a DVD case cover and the sticky residue remained. I hate those and you can’t wipe it off, it’ll just smudge it. So I took a piece of tape and just stuck it on the residue and pulled off a bunch of it. Just keep repeating that and it should take whatever it is off the shoe
Pfft, I guess.
I actually found Goo Gone quite easy to obtain on eBay UK, at a reasonable price. It works very well, too. But of course it doesn’t claim to resolve simmering sexual tension of the sort that is so obviously indicated by the OP.
Sigh, I’ve been doing it wrong then. slinks off to source inflatable shark
We’ve found at our office that hand sanitizer is an all-purpose cleaner/sanitizer/goo gone alternative. Just be careful when using it that you don’t get it all over everything.
Just tell her your ass makes terribly embarassing ripping noises when you stand up. This will not only make you more than even, but make her feel bad. And its a fart joke. Kinda.
Oh my god, after reading the letter… It should be a crime.