I gave up on dating for good. Life’s never been better. No more lying, cheating and deception. No more waiting for the phone to ring. No more having to feel that I must prove that I love her. No more having to spend extra money on her that I can’t always afford. And best of all, no more buying any of that red and pink teddy bear heart-shaped shit the stores like to peddle around Valentine’s Day to insecure saps like myself who do so out of fear that their sweetie will reject them otherwise (not that this ever seemed to work anyway).
At least you went three years before the breakup. I’ve only dated a few times, and when I have it only lasted a few months. Every time the breakup is about to take place it’s introduced with something along the lines of, “I think we need to start seeing other people”, “I’ve found someone else”, “I’ve decided to go back to my ex”, etc. As the discussion continues she tells me, “it’s not you, it’s me”, “we’re just not right for each other”, “there are plenty of women who’d love to be with you, I’m just not one of them”, and don’t forget the classic, “we can still be friends.” I got so sick of hearing these stock phrases that most women seem to know. I know I’m not too good with the opposite sex, and it seems that my gentlemanly nice-guy approach isn’t the way to do it, as others have stated in other threads on this board, but I don’t know of any other ways to do it.
I know I’m jaded and I’m cynical when it comes to dating, but being that I am 33, I’ve had enough disappointments and rejections to feel justified in my feelings and to proclaim that I am not compatible with anyone. You’re only 21, so people are going to tell you that you’re still young, and there’s lots of time to find “the right one”, and of course, “there are lots of fish in the sea” (yeah, well, I must not have the right bait then, whatever). Just keep in mind that while the people who tell you these things usually have good intentions and are trying to keep your spirits up, always be prepared for the possibility that your life may not turn out this way and you may never marry or even meet the woman of your dreams. I know this may not sound too encouraging, but I’d just rather present what I feel is a more realistic outlook that some people should consider while they’re still young.
You say that all your friends have stable and fulfilling relationships. I know that this can seem all the more discouraging. I always asked myself why I couldn’t have what my friends and so many other people seem to be having? Ten years ago I felt this way. Nowdays, I have seen one of my friends get divorced, followed by several failed dating attempts (hs current relationship is on the rocks), and another friend of mine complains about his wife more than anything else. I’ve seen several other friends make their lives miserable trying to please the women they have been with. After seeing all this I decided that it just was not worth the trouble.
If you’re not dating anyone by February 14, do what I and several of my eternally single friends do on that most despicable day: wear black.
