My husband deals with depression often. He has had bad experiences with counselors–as a college freshman, he went to the campus counseling center for depression. One of his issues was not finding friends. The people employed by the state to counsel college students told him to go get a few beers with guys from his dorm. They actually told him to go break the law with guys he knew he would not be friends with because they had already proven themselves unwise and unkind (to put it politely), as if winding up in jail with them would somehow alleviate the depression.
He did find quality friends–they all live hundreds of miles from each other but keep in touch.
He took a “class” on overcoming depression without meds. Avoiding what causes or exacerbates depression was one approach. Music was another. Classical music was the genre with the strongest recommendation, but since Mr. CK is a musician, (amateur right now) music he loves and music he makes help him. He also tells me that “I’m O.K.” by Styx pulled him out of a suicidal situation. We are Christians, so we have a support structure in our church family, our faith, and religious practice. If you don’t have that, you don’t need a church to find people who will support you, but make sure they do give you support and don’t make things worse.
We will add you to our prayer list. I don’t know if you care or think it would help, but it will not hurt.
Yes, you should talk to your wife. First, you need her support. Second, she deserves to know. Third, she may be able to tell you things she’s noticed about your mood and behavior that you aren’t already aware of. Fourth, talking with her about it could help you feel better. And fifth, not talking with her about it means keeping a secret about something important, which usually isn’t good for a relationship.
This would be a very good time to get a PCP. I can’t tell you how to choose one, but any general practitioner who’s been around at all has seen plenty of cases of depression. It’s not an exotic problem. I’d expect a doctor to give you a full exam, including tests for things like thyroid function (hypothyroidism can cause symptoms of depression). A PCP can refer you to a specialist, if you need one.
Specific advice is good, but remember that everyone is different. What worked for someone else might not work for you (and vice versa).
how does a head doctor help with talking with them? I have one but not much talking going on there. I just dont have anything to say
I find when I am depressed that I have very little emotional strength to do normal everyday things. Even being here typing. I take all sorts of pills. There’s always a down for me. I get up or function normally most of the time. When I get down, its a long way down. Long like today. Its not hard to fall to the bottom fast.