The poem isn’t destroyed, there is a copy of it in this very thread, you can show your husband that instead!
I’m trying to imagine how that conversation went with your husband…
‘Oh, there’s just one other little thing, hubs… I signed up to a site that enables extramarital affairs.’
What was your husbands reaction to that?
I can imagine it would have to be one of the following:
a) Oh, thank god. Now I can finally get some rest from that nympho!
b) Oh, this could be interesting. This adds a whole new dimension to our sex lives! Maybe I’ll join too!
c) Please, please, please let her cheat so I can finally dump her ass with no guilt or further explanation necessary.
d) I love you and I trust you and in my eyes you can do no wrong. (Read: I have no spine. I’ll stay in the marriage because I’m insecure and just become passive aggressive instead.)
So which is it??
Maybe being married in this tight religion, means No Divorce! Never! Not ever! And the adherents are using that as an excuse to do as they please. Pretty much aware their spouse will have to just suck it up. They have no choice, as divorce would never, could never, even be spoken of. Kind of a cheaters dream really.
There are plenty of divorced Mormons
E) he said he was disappointed I didn’t tell him how I was feeling and said he wanted me to talk to someone. I am still trying to decide if I want to go back to therapy.
May I ask, is your husband significantly older than you?
Yes, please go.
I don’t know. It’s why I’ve distrusted my feelings since childhood.
No. I’m 32 and he’s 35
Okay. His reaction to your behaviour seemed particularly paternalistic. That’s why I asked. Perhaps it’s got to do more with your faith, idk.
Even so, I’d expect the man to have a much more emotional response to the fact that his wife is seriously considering having an affair. I can only conclude that he simply doesn’t much care or that this is not the first time this has happened and you’re a known quantity to him. In other words, a pretty low bar has been set and he isn’t surprised by any of this.
I keep returning to my earlier conclusion; this is a familiar dynamic to you both and you know exactly what you’re doing and why.
It’s possible that your husband might have said the same thing about you a few weeks ago.
I don’t get how this will work. You had an emotional affair. You’ve decided you can just put guy friend back into the box labeled “Platonic” and you have faith in your emotional ability to do that. At the same time you are saying you don’t trust your own emotions and haven’t since you were a teen .
I know it is possible to recover from an affair, but i can’t imagine continuing to have that person in your life is going to make it any easier. If i were your husband, i would feel that you placed more importance on your relationship with Guy than you do on your relationship with Husband. After all, you can’t or won’t cut ties with him, even if it damages your marriage.
Good luck.
No, this is the first time I’ve ever felt this way about another man since I married my husband and I’ve never considered cheating before.
He is just an incredibly empathetic and loving man. I don’t expect anyone to understand, he is a unique person who I am lucky to know and be with.
If my husband asked me to cut ties I would.
But what do YOU think is right, since you know best how you feel, what happened and who you are?
Do you like pina coladas?
Right now I think staying in touch with Guy Friend as a friend is right.
He didn’t do anything wrong. He enjoys talking with me, and I can be a fantastic friend. It would be even more immature and selfish of me to ignore him because I couldn’t decide to cut the lusty crap. I may be a very emotional person, but I’m not a jerk.
No.
I do like getting caught in the rain.
That was me. 
My mojo is so strong that the slightest hint drives women wild.
Not cut ties for the sake of your marriage and kids.
I was not flirting.
Geez