I’m going to try to make a long story short here.
A few years ago, I was in a very bad, abusive marriage. I was emotioanlly torn down to nothing. Online,I met a male friend.
We became very close and he encouraged me to leave the marriage, pursue a good job and helped build my self esteem a lot. Without him, I wouldn’t be where I am now. We would speak on the phone every night for up to 7 hours. He told me several times that he loved me, we would have phone sex and I send him naughty pictures. He gave me money for a divorce laywer, not much, but enough to get me started. He also send me boxes of food, when things were very rough on me and my daughter to help. He lived out of state, so we never met.
In spite of this, he said he did not want to have a girlfriend. He was in school and caring for ill family members and holding down several jobs. He said that a girlfriend would be more then he could take on. This, led to a disastorous fight and for a few weeks we did not talk or email and I was nealy suicidal during that time.
We began to speak again, slowly, but never became as close as we were. Now, several years later, we are still friends and still speak over the phone, about once a week. We still email a few times a week.
During one of these conversations, he and I were reminising about the old times and he said that he missed me and missed getting pictures of me. I took some new pictures and mailed them to him, which he liked very much and said he found to be very attractive and sexy. That was just two weeks ago. We had not and have not had phone sex since the fight.
Yesterday, I discovered he had a girl friend. I was not spying or hunting him down or stalking him online. I discovered this from a mutual friend. In looking at the girl’s webpage, it seems that they have been together for at least a year, if not more.
Now, I have no idea how I am suppossed to react. I am grown up enough to know that we will never be a couple. I am not devastated or anything. But, I cannot understand why he never mentioned that he had a girlfriend and why he asked me for more pictures.
In discussing this with another male friend, he feels that to my old friend, I am nothing more then an internet porn star. If that’s the case, it is disturbing. I felt that we were, at least, good friends that genuinly cared for each other’s well being. It is also hurtful, becasue my former husband treated me as nothing more than an object and I was under the inpression that my friend saw me as a real human being with feelings.
