We are responding to things that you have posted. No one is making anything up.
Can someone who knows more about psychology/psychiatry than me tell me how one can conflate “a woman has to feel guilty for leaving her husband, the father of her children, alone so she can visit the guy she was doing sexy stuff with” with “a woman has to feel guilty for leaving her husband, the father of her children, alone so she can have a well deserved break.”?
Is it possible to fool oneself that much about what others are saying and what one is doing?
I look forward to the day April gets caught red-cunted cheating on her husband and starts a Tumblr account where she posts a picture with a card that reads: “I need feminism because my husband tries to guilt me for deciding what should go in my body.”
The behavior expounded upon in this thread as well as the content of this thread make me think it’s just the case of a bored housewife who seeks drama.
Well, yeah, if it was the best woman friend she admitted to having lusty feelings for earlier in this thread.
:smack: Forgot that part. I can’t keep up with the drama.
I think both of you seeing a marriage counselor may be fun if the counselor specializes in role playing / open relationships.
This is of course once you get out of Azkaban for your past transgressions.
I love this thread.
This :dubious:, and the level of over-sharing… If it isn’t a cry for help, I’ve never heard one.
I strongly suspect you’ve not shared even half the things you’ve said in this thread with your husband. The one person who really ought to know what’s going on in your head. I simply do not believe that if he knew what we know, his only reaction would be “disapointment”.
I just want to say that you should be proud of yourself for admitting that you were thinking about cheating. The constant denials were just ridiculously over the top.
Now that you’ve cleared that hurdle, hopefully you can eventually move on to admitting that you emotionally cheated.
Emotional cheating is bs. If every time any one flirted, had thoughts about another person, looked at porn, etc was cheating then we are all screwed. You, me, everyone.
She has a one yr old and is pregnant. I want a CHILDFREE vacation.
IMHO, emotional cheating is when you routinely turn to another person to satisfy sexual and intimate emotional needs that you would normally be getting from your partner.
No has ever described what you listed as emotional cheating.
Quote me where I’ve said I’m having sex with anyone other than my husband. Do it. I’m waiting.
And? What of it? It’s b.s. Porn does the same thing. Is the all enlightened SDMB claiming that is cheating as well? You can’t call what I did cheating and not call porn cheating too
You certainly were thinking about it. But part of me thinks that you are just starved for attention and are getting off on all these replies. There is clearly something off with you.
If looking at porn reaches the level of “a relationship” and detracts from the primary relationship, well, “cheating” may not be the right term but it would be also destructive to the marriage.
The point with emotional cheating (and I’m talking in generalities) is that the secondary relationship is drawing from the primary relationship and taking the place of it in some important aspect of ones life. It’s not BS. If you found out your spouse had a secret, ongoing, emotionally intimate relationship with another woman, was sharing deep feelings, expressing sexual desires and this was ongoing and reciprocated, wouldn’t you feel cheated out of some aspect of the relationship that you felt should have been yours?
I asked a questions up thread- I don’t believe this guy is a focus of your sexual desires any longer, but what will be the next thrill you seek? You texted with guy, were flirty with DZ in this thread, made an account with AM… where will your next thrill come from? It’s not about this guy or AM- it’s about your apparent need for external sexual validation.
How many times do you think your husband will forgive you if you have to keep coming back with new admissions? He’s right- get some therapy. He didn’t ask you to cut ties, but he did ask you to do that. Seems like a small price to pay to show him you mean what you say about your commitment to your marriage.
Seriously? Looking at porn isn’t emotional cheating because there is no **emotional **connection. I have never written a poem about a porn actor or actress, I don’t talk to them on the phone, I don’t talk about my marriage to porn actors - do you honestly not see the difference in becoming emotionally entangled with someone (to the point where you feel like a “bad guy”) and looking at sexy pictures of people you don’t know?
I AM NOT reliving all 400+ posts to find them, but here are the things YOU have posted:
[ul]
[li]way bigger libido than your husband can keep up with[/li][li]REALLY get an ego boost from appearing attractive to other men[/li][li]Arizona boy is just the GREATEST, love talking, texting, flirting with him[/li][li]Going to go spend some time (a week?) with him[/li][li]Oh lets not forget, the erotic dreams ABOUT HIM[/li][li]The need to ESCAPE the reality of your monogamous marriage and the children (OMG, so many children)[/li][li]Hubby did it (the 5 years ago conference), so I’m owed one as well[/li][/ul]
Blah, blah, blah, on and on. The emotional flip-flopping back and forth. The admission that you know you are not emotionally stable, but you’re “just sure” nothing untoward would happen. Your continued excuse of “if Hubby is okay with it, then why shouldn’t I?”
And no, porn is not the same. Porn is not someone you know, someone you have a personal relationship with. If you honestly have a hard (heh) time seeing the difference between looking at anonymous porn, and emotional cheating as you have admitted in engaging in, then I think we have arrived at one of the cores of the issue.
Look at it this way - and you may not agree with my example, but just ponder it for a second:
Today, you found out your husband cheated. It was a one time thing, it meant nothing and that was it. He never saw her again after that one night.
OR
Today you found out your husband cheated. He had sex with another woman, but he also was deeply emotionally involved with her. He told her he loved her, she loved him back. They were planning on continuing this relationship into the foreseeable future.
Are both of these scenarios exactly the same? He had sex in both scenarios. But is one even more of a betrayal of your marriage? Or are they exactly the same?
OMG guys, WE have become April R’s “thrill” in this thread.
Now I just feel dirty and used. :smack:
This is a warning for you, don’t say anything like this anywhere on the board again. If you get so mad at someone you want to call them names, take it to the Pit, although you cannot say what you did here in that forum either.