Stuffing is a huge deal in my gf’s family’s Thanksgiving tradition. Her mom makes enough to feed an army, and my gf and her two brothers pretend to be afraid their siblings will eat it all.
It’s a thing going back to childhood, and it’s kinda hilarious. Whoever is the first reaching for stuffing second helpings gets upbraided by the other two, “HEY! Leave some for me!”
They also have a xmas tradition where the three “kids” race to see who is first to get their stocking down from the mantle. Again, hilarious. Three adults in their sixties scrambling, pushing, hip-checking over a stocking filled with chapstick, candy, socks, etc.
Last xmas there was a scare when my gf got thrown to the floor, getting her wind knocked out. Her brothers assumed she was faking it and never looked back.
I think the thing that bothers me most is the sitting around doing nothing. When my kids were still living at home, I saw them all the time anyway. When my wife’s family came over, nobody wanted to do anything, and the kids really didn’tget along great with their cousins, so we’d sit there watching football and exchanging small talk. I’d try to help in the kitchen and get shoo’d away. Of course, leaving for an hour for a long walk with the dog, or a bike ride if it’s a nice day, would be frowned upon. I felt lucky to get clean-up duty, at least it’s something to do.
I think I’d like it more if it were different people - at least the conversations would be more interesting. A couple years ago we included a friend of my MIL who had nowhere else to go. That was definitely more interesting. I really like the “Friends-giving” concept, if I’m going to have to host people anyway.
This is what makes it bearable: I only have to do this twice per year. Her family is big on get-togethers for pretty much every major holiday and family birthday, of which there are many. In return for being the family slave on Thanksgiving and Christmas I’ve been released from any obligation to attend the legion of other family events sprinkled throughout the year, which are almost always on a Sunday afternoon which is a day that ends in Y which means it’s a day I’d rather stay home doing bupkis. As much as I hate the pomp, grandeur, and nonsense of Thanksgiving and Christmas, I recognize it’s a small price to pay to have my freedom the rest of the year.
Plus, happy wife = happy life and all that.
My kids used to love these visits and would bemoan when, after sitting there for a couple of hours listening to whatever drivel is being discussed, I would signal it’s time for us to depart. Now they, like me, can’t wait to leave.
Agreed. We did do Christmas night (or sometimes Christmas eve, when the kids were little) with my parents. My mom’s health was poor the last ~10 years of her life and Thanksgiving wasn’t much a thing for her after about 2015 or so.
One thing about this Thanksgiving/Christmas food ritual: the men do about 80% of the cooking. I do all of what I previously posted except the cookies and the apple pies, which my wife makes. My son does the potato salad. My FIL does the ham. My MIL makes the noodle goo. My SIL makes green bean casserole and Jell-o pudding pies. Her uncle puts together a charcuterie board. Most of the women putter around the kitchen staying “busy” but they really don’t do that much.
There’s also no football, which would probably be a deal-breaker for me if they insisted on watching it. They do watch the Macy’s parade, which is bearable.
Sounds great to me. Much better than a full day of cooking (3 days for my wife for some reason. She always overdoes it). A lot of effort for 20 minutes of eating.
Eh, my family will sit around the table eating and talking over the food for 3 hours. It’s nice. And i enjoy cooking, when i have the energy to do it well.
Yeah, the noodle goo sounds incredibly horrible. I don’t even like the noodle pudding stuff that many Jews serve for holidays (kugel) but at least that has mostly-distinct noodles with some savory (or sometimes sweet) seasoning.
Does anyone else in the family make noodles like MIL? or is it going to be one of those secret recipes that she takes to the grave? (Sorry, I’m just fascinated by this for some reason.)
You and the boys are going to have to come up with mental bingo cards of things to mark off: someone remarking about why we don’t live for 900 years like in the OT days, Uncle Jebidiah getting up for his 3rd helping, etc.
The offspring’s suggestion: wouldn’t it be a better holiday if instead of Acrimonious Family Feast day we celebrated Immigrants Day? Instead of bloating on turkey and green bean casserole and candied yams, families could sit down with recent immigrants and share the traditional celebratory foods of those countries. (which Offspring is doing with two Congolese families today).
Heather Cox Richardson reminds us in her blog this morning that Thanksgiving was originally Lincoln’s institution of a day of gratitude for the end of the Civil War with the Union intact and slavery outlawed. The natives feasting the illegal immigrants from England was already a myth when it promulgated years previous, but it too was in response to the building tension around slave vs free states.
On Turkey day, you eat, watch football, and take a nap, then eat some more. What’s not to love?
Growing up, Thanksgiving was always my favorite holiday: all of the food and family of Christmas, with none of the stress and aggravation of presents.
It’s a little less festive these days. I’m an only child, divorced, and my mom died a few years ago. I’m estranged from the rest of my family, so it’s just me and my cat, Lucy.
But that just means I do the parts of the holiday I like. I make the dishes I enjoy: green bean casserole and my mom’s spinach casserole. I don’t mess with turkey; usually, I buy some fried chicken from the grocery store deli, although this year I bought unbreaded chicken wings.
And there’s pie! I have a pecan pie, and a tub of cool whip.
There’s some good games on TV. The Lions are really good this year. Later, my Dolphins have a chance to turn their season around in a tough matchup with Green Bay.
Probably zero uniformity across American households, but in my experience, “Thanksgiving dinner” happens at some point between mid-afternoon and early evening.
