Every woman I know would disagree that this is what the day is like.
As I explained in the OP, part of what I’m tired of is witnessing the mysogyny.
That’s a midwestern thing. We always had it at night in California and so did my NYC family and so did everyone I knew. It varies widely and obviously lots of people in California have it in the afternoon
My family is leans heavily female. We all cook something large, bring it somewhere (this has been my grandparents, then my parents, and presently just my widowed dad’s house), spread and set the table, decorate it (we are arty), get the sideboard buffet set up, eat, clear the table, divvy the leftovers into containers, wash the dishes. The men tend to just move the tables and chairs back to their regular set up. My dad liked to offer appetizers (that my mother made) and fill people’s wine glasses, back when he was more mobile (he is 97 this year). But men, yeah, just eat and nap, and that’s their thoughtless thanksgiving.
If there were no men, thanksgiving would be identical. With men, just more chairs. If there were no women, I don’t think thanksgiving would happen at all.
The Onion brings it once again.
Thanksgiving today with son, DIL, son’s best buddy and his family (family great. buddy ugh) and other son. At least time with the granddaughter.
DIL cooking and this year I am staying in my lane. We were asked to bring 2 desserts but we added on a Costco pumpkin pie, charcuterie, and my deviled eggs. Besides the extra pie (and that doesn’t count because slices will end up in care packages going home) I am doing nothing else. No family stuffing (Admittedly no big loss). No turkey demi-glace (best gravy ever); that’s in my deep freezer. Nope, just bringing what I was asked to.
So at noon MST I’m already done cooking rather than prepping my 9th dish. Is this what a stress-free Thanksgiving feels like? I could get used to this.
I made pies last night. I sliced and prepped the squash this morning. My husband made the stuffing, we stuffed the turkey together, and i sewed it up. It’s now in the oven. The potatoes and turkey broth are on the stove. My husband is doing the mashed potatoes, and some frozen rolls. My sister is bringing pumpkin bread and a vegetable. My son will make green beans. My daughter will set the table.
Right now I’m relaxing and reading the dope, and my husband is napping. We’ll have dinner at 6.
(No one in my household watches football.)
It’s not all that stressful.
Gathering time for my CA family today (or sections thereof) is 3, I’m going to assume dinner at 5-6. I think this is pretty standard for us most years. Since my commute should be an approximately five minute walk, I think I’m going to taker advantage by doing a little un-holiday-like cleaning.
I remember the first time you shared about this unholy concoction. Like others, I’m simultaneously transfixed and repelled.
I could never eat it unless it was at gunpoint, and even then, I’d have to give it a think before committing. It would also come right back up, so there’s that.
It reminds me a bit of my stepmom’s cornbread stuffing. I like cornbread, and if made well, I don’t mind the stuffing (although I prefer dressing made with bread). But… she drowns hers in broth before putting it in the bird. By the time it comes out of the oven with all the bird juices soaked in, it’s more like a watery polenta than any kind of stuffing. I would always take a token portion, then smother it in gravy and mix it with some mashed potatoes to gag it down. It’s a texture thing. You have my deep sympathies!
My own private Thanksgiving proceeds apace. The pumpkin pie is in the oven, the giblets are on the boil on the stove top. I’ll roast a chicken (much preferred to turkey!), bake dressing alongside, make some mashed spuds and gravy, steam some green beans with garlic and lemon and call it good. There are enough carbs in this meal to last for a few months, so I won’t bake rolls. The bread I’m using for the dressing is homemade, though.
The older I get, the more I appreciate extra time for the ol’ gastrointestinal system to process whatever abuse I’m heaping upon it. I’ll shoot for around 3:30 p.m. for my dinner. With pumpkin pie and whipped cream for dessert, that’s about as late as I dare go!
Happiest of Thanksgivings to all, however you celebrate (or don’t)!
I’m glad no one here knows where I live because this might rankle a few feathers:
As far as holidays, it’s just my wife and I; both our families live 800 miles away and that’s a good thing. There is a very nice riverfront seafood restaurant about 45 minutes from us that we visit 4 or 5 times a year; the food is great, the view is interesting (sometimes we see dolphins) and the staff are amazing. For the fifth time now, we have headed there for their Thanksgiving Buffet. Not too expensive, good eats and it beats cooking. A nice drive back home afterwards while trying to overcome the tryptophan effect and we call it a day. I am thankful for this establishment and I told them so. The end.
There are dolphins in your rivers? Where is this?
Presumably not in China…
I’m not telling. 
St. Johns River east of Jacksonville, FL. Not too sure how far inland they travel.
Well, Thanksgiving is over for me finally. As mentioned upthread, the feast began at 12 noon horrifying many in this thread, followed by 4ish hours of hanging out with in-laws of various degree of closeness, with a total of 20 or so people in a largish 3 bedroom house (so packed to the gills). Thankfully, we didn’t get the snow predicted earlier in the week, so with highs in the low 40s, we hearty (read stupid) Coloradans could also socialize outside in areas where the sun was shining with only one extra layer!
My MiL’s turkey was, as always, moist, rubbery, and underwhelming, but there was plenty of other food. And I got a nice compliment - there are basically three-ish generations present, my Mother and Father-in-laws in the mid-to late 70s, the “adults” now in the late 50s mostly, and the “kids” now in late teens to mid twenties or so. My wife are on the “young” end of the adults, but one of my cousin-in-laws confessed they always included my wife and I in the “kids” section mentally, and was very surprised to learn we were both 50 this year.
Despite the fact that we’re only about 6 years younger.
So that was nice!
And my favorite extended family member (like me, married into the clan) got my reference to the new PHEV being a TIE fighter and not only enjoyed the reference but loved the fact that I put a decal of a TIE interceptor on it.
This year we’re doing Thanksgiving dinner on Friday. Something to do with my niece’s in-law’s schedule. I don’t really understand.
What’s not to understand? Some people need to work - first responders, care workers (hospitals, nursing homes, assisted living, etc). Holiday schedules for public transit still needs some workers. Restaurant employees. Some people like the extra income from working (double time, etc); if someone worked yesterday at a bonus rate & has off today the cost of hosting everyone is essentially free as the double time goes to pay for all of the extra food that is purchased.
Oh the humanity!
DIL decided to “improve” the green bean casserole with limp bacon and topped with cheddar cheese.
And those that do not have family and those trying to avoid family love the holiday pay for working holidays.
It may be that @suranyi wasn’t told any details, simply that their niece’s in-laws’ schedule precluded getting together on Thursday. So, maybe, not “I don’t really understand why anyone would be unavailable on Thanksgiving,” so much as “I don’t really understand why these particular people aren’t available on Thanksgiving.”
That’s how i read it.
My brother volunteered for the Thanksgiving shift for several years in part to avoid the family gathering. I think he would have been really miffed if we’d moved Thanksgiving to accommodate his schedule. 
But he’s into those things now. I’m fact, this year, we are celebrating not-Thanksgiving next week to accommodate the other brother, who had plans with his partner’s father on Thanksgiving Day. (We also celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday.)
I don’t think anything I described necessitates misogyny. It may be the dynamic amongst the people that you spend time with for the women to do all of the work, but that’s hardly required.
In this very thread, there have been men who have described the labor of cooking. And cleaning up the dishes is certainly not gender specific. At family gatherings I’ve attended, everybody helps bus the tables,and then usually there’s a team of people to wash and then dry dishes. Certainly, I can remember my Aunt plopping down on the couch with a plate of pie, and when we’d have the street football game, my mom and grandmother would come out to watch. (And as a kid, it was my job to mix the stuffing with my hands. I can still hear my mom yelling for me to “first, wash your hands!” I didn’t like it cooked, but the raw stuff that got between my fingers was tasty!)
More importantly, you can pick and choose which parts of the holiday you still practice. Don’t like a big spread; just make a few things. Hate football; keep the TV off. Not a turkey fan; maybe try lasagna.
The best part of Thanksgiving is how chill the holiday is.
Well we lost three of a scheduled eight to an earlier medical issue (unexpected disease diagnosis and an overnight hospital stay for one of the younger set). Other than that downer it was quite pleasant and with just five people an excess of food and a mellow vibe. No football - just my father’s insistence of showing his favorite old Mitchell and Webb sketch to a medical professional.