I think I'm going to cry. Whining, rage, and advice inside. (Hair related)

In My Humble Opinion
1

First the rage: God-fucking-damn it! For the love of bacon, who do I have to fuck around here to find a good salon that I don’t have to travel to the other side of the Earth to get to? I’m not unusually picky about salons or anything, but thanks to Chicago’s ordinance banishing all black people to the south and west sides, NOT living in either of those locations means my black ass is hard motherfucking pressed to find a salon that can do a relaxer. This is maddening! Truly maddening.

Advice sought (with whining liberally worked throughout): So I had (or have, if I get desperate enough) a hair lady, but I’ve never liked her and have only continued to go to her because I was too lazy to go through this son of a bitch, arduous, insanity-inducing process of finding a stylist again. I don’t like the way she cuts my hair, I don’t like the way she relaxes my hair, and I don’t like that I have to pay so much goddamn money for her to do a job I don’t even like. The most frustrating part is the guy whose chair in right next to hers in the salon does hair like a boss! Good Christ, every woman who leaves his chair has perfectly bouncy, full, shiny, well-layered hair while I leave my chair slowly dying of envy. I’d love him to be my stylist because I know for sure he kicks ass at it, which beats the hell out of closing your eyes and rolling the dice (which is what I’m doing now in my new salon search), and the salon is in a convenientish location. Not ideal, but is more than fine to travel to once every six weeks for a badass hair cut.

Is there a non-awkward way to switch to a different stylist in the same salon? Especially considering their chairs are* right next to each other*? I’m boned on this one, aren’t I?

2

There is definitely no non-awkward way to do this, any more than there is a non-awkward way to break up with someone and then have sex with someone else on their couch the next day. But, the saving grace of this situation is that professional decorum requires them to pretend they don’t mind. So even though you’ll feel awkward and you’ll know they feel awkward, if you pretend it’s no big deal they have to too.

Awkwardness aside, you should definitely switch to the guy. You have to live with your hair 24/7 for the six weeks between cuts, and the awkwardness won’t last for more than a few visits.

One possible salvation from awkwardness: if your salon lets you make appointments from their website, search for a time when your regular person isn’t working and the guy is. After that, the story is easy: “I needed a cut and you weren’t available and Gay Jeremy was and we just clicked!” Not that she’ll ever ask, but you’ll feel better knowing you have an answer ready anyway.

3

Good answer. I’ve gone to 3 different stylists in my salon over 20+ years and they’ve all been very cool about it. Because they have to be,

4

Pretty much.

But I’d probably shoot for the lighthearted approach and say you just want to try “something different this time.” Then noncommittally return to his chair every time thereafter. Still awkward, but you’re just not going to escape the awkward.

5

What I was going to suggest.
Maybe I shouldn’t admit this, but when I read this line:

…in my head, it was spoken by a gloriously Jerry curled Jules Winnfield.

6

Damn it. I thought I might be kind of screwed on this one. All of my friends are like, “Yeeeaah, you’re gonna have to find a new salon.” The thing about awkwardness is no one ever says anything, so it’s not like I ever feared she’d come up to me ever and ask “What was the problem with how I styled your hair?” No one is ever going to outright say anything (to my face), but if I’m sitting there reading a magazine in front of her while Gay Jeremy is styling away, it’s going to be, you know, uncomfortable. I think I may try to find out what their schedules are, and pray to the hair gods that there are off times for her when he is on (which doesn’t seem far fetched), then try to sneak in. He’s so freaking good, you guys! You should see it.

That is a compliment among compliments. Thank you! :slight_smile:

7

Goddamnit, get Gay Jeremy to style your hair! :mad: I’m not going to be able to post on the same message board(s) as you knowing that you are putting up with substandard hair care. I mean, I’ll still keep posting, but in a far less carefree and joyful manner. You don’t want to have that on your head (ha!), now do you?

8

See if Gay Jeremy makes house calls. And btw, you wouldn’t have this problem if you were living in LA.

9

I go to a large-ish salon and generally see whoever’s available at my preferred time. I dislike playing loyalty and preference games, especially b/c most stylists IMO are solidly in the “fine but not stellar” category.

If you’re feeling awkward, figure out when her days off are and schedule your sessions with him then. Or just own it and, if/when you see her, tell her you’ve resolved to try new things with your hair in 2013 and you’ve seen whats-his-name do some interesting things. She’ll feel a little hurt, but that’s OK. You’re the one shelling out.

10

It might be an hour of awkward for six weeks of hair happiness. It’s worth it!!! Good luck!

11

If you decide you can’t handle the awkward and start shopping for somebody at a different salon, I’ve found that as a rule of thumb men do hair better than women. I tried about six different female stylists before settling on the current guy who has done my hair ever after.

12

As somebody who is lucky enough to walk in anywhere and say “1 on the sides, 3 on top” I have a lot to learn about hair.

Why, were you to venture a guess, do men make better stylists?

13

Find out when your stylist is out and the other guy is in. Go in on that day.

14

Hush!

I’m sure you mean well with this advice, but you’ve never been black, have you? I can’t just walk into Aveda, or wherever, in a largely white neighborhood and trust someone to put chemical relaxers on my hair. For black women living in white neighborhoods, good hair care is a great, soul crushing quest.

YES! When I rank my best stylists ever, they’re all men. There is not a male’s name on the list that appears below that of a woman at all. The killer is the single best stylist I have ever had was a man in Minnesota. Minne-fucking-sota, where the only black people in the entire state were me and Prince! He left me to go to Atlanta, as if he’ll be able to find clients there. Harrumph.

So anyway, I have some theories about why men are better stylists. I think it’s for the same reason I’ve found a disproportionate amount beautiful prose comes from people aren’t native speakers of the language, for the same reason why my friend helping me pack to move had everything in boxes in about 1/5 of the time it took me, for the same reason this board has given me better advice than my idiot friends have. Boys don’t grow up with this attachment to hair or bound to the Rules of Hair the way little girls do, so much like someone not bound by language conventions, or someone helping you move who doesn’t know what that pile of ostensible trash means, they’re more objective about the situation, so the results just come out better. If certain phrasing is correct and makes sense, then use it, and it doesn’t matter if it’s not a word pairing that’s been used a million times before. If you’re helping out with moving and something looks like trash, throw it away, and if it doesn’t, put it in a box and be done with it. If there’s uncertainty, you ask “Do you need this?” which forces the person to answer yes or no, then you act accordingly and move on. We’ve all moved before and have spent too much time fretting over we need this piece of crap that we haven’t used in 11 years. Someone helping will not indulge this kind of silliness. In these parts, you don’t know me, and I don’t know you, so all you see is the situation and the advice is based on that alone. So in that vein, women (who are way too protective about their hair) stylists are too wimpy with the scissors and styling in general. Screw that! Get in there, do what needs to be done to make my hair look best, and don’t be afraid that I’ll cry if it’s too short. I won’t if it looks good. So men, not hindered by any bizarre hair attachments or Rules (capital R), just fix the damn hair the way they think looks best. Ta da.

BUT! I have news, I think. I found a well-reviewed place that does relaxers, is in a convenient location, and when I checked their website and saw the women displayed were black, I got so excited I almost dropped my glass. Not even kidding, was so overwhelmed, I almost spilled OJ all over my keyboard. Then when I saw the prices were entirely reasonable, I am pretty sure this is my next step.

I don’t know why I’m being such a whiny little bitch about this, but I’d rather avoid the weirdness. I’ll check out the new place, let them do their thing, and if they’re good, I’m good. If not, then folks, I’m going to have to get in a stealth appointment with Gay Jeremy.

15

I’d call the male stylist, tell him you’ve noticed how good he is and ask him how awkward it would be to switch. He works beside her and probably has a pretty good idea how she’d take it. Plus he’s a guy and we love nothing so much as getting our egos stroked, so if you do find yourself in his chair he’d be inclined to want to live up to your expectations.

16

Eeep! Sorry about that. Yes, I have always been white, and have had my share of hair difficulties, but that is not one of them.

I guess my point was: loyalty for mediocre stylists is a wasted sacrifice, IMHO. My vote goes for Gay Jeremy!

17

You’re black?

18

And female, I bet.

I was going to suggest meetup.com before I saw that you had found the next cool place. Good luck!

19

Find a Dominican salon. They will have your herr laid, girl.

20

You can pull a Seinfled and ask the guy to come over and do you hair in your apartment, there’s risks involved of course.