I got up this morning and like always the first thing I do is let my dog outside for his morning potty. He’s quick about it, so I wait at the door for him. While I’m waiting I realize that I don’t feel so well. So about then my dog comes back to the door and I let him in. Being the pushy little thing that he is, he has to come in ahead of me. So I’m behind him as we come back through the kitchen and I realize I don’t feel well at all!
I bolt for the bathroom! He thinks that’s really neat, and bolts ahead of me! I’m trying not to lose it while stumbling around a crazed dog at 5 a.m. Well, I did lose it. All over his back.
I threw up into my babies’ crib once. It wasn’t a comment on motherhood (and they weren’t in it at the time); just a really bad case of food poisoning that came on too quick. Had to clean it up myself, too, 'cause Hubby was dealing w/the kids!
One day when my sister and I were kids, we were playing Twenty Questions. I was thinking of our poodle, and she guessed, “Can you blow your nose on it?” (thinking of the Kleenex box on the end table). I wasn’t sure what to answer!
(We also used to open up both ends of a potato chip bag, put it on the dog, and watch her go crinkle crinkle trying to get out of it. Hee hee!)
On several occasions, I have awoke to various cats trying to barf on me in the night. Frighteningly, it is usually near my head/torso region. I suppose they are trying to say: “Hey, mommy, I’m sick. And you aren’t noticing because, selfishly, you are sleeping the entire night away.”
Few have succeeded, but I have wondered about returning the favor.
I threw up next to my dog’s head once. I had a case of food poisoning, and had been sick all day. I had managed to eat some chicken soup, but it only stayed down for about 30 minutes. It snuck up on me - I thought I had time to run to the bathroom, but I only got a few steps away from the couch before I hurled. The dog didn’t flinch - she had been watching me throw up since about 4 that morning, so she was used to it by then.
You know the feeling, the sounds. It’s late at night, and, groggily, you awaken to the sounds of the cat barking on the floor. Hastily, you swing your bare feet to the floor, to try and stop it, and, well, you know the rest of the story.
Man, think about the trip this milk has taken… it came out of a cow into an automatic milker and through the pasturization process to the bottler and then to the store where you/Mom gave it to the checker who gave it to the bagger from which it was taken to your car and driven home to be put in a refrigerator and then went through the spoiling process and later poured into a glass and then down your throat and into your stomach which said get the hell out and it shot back up your throat and out your mouth through the air and onto a dog’s back to be lapped up by his tongue and swallowed and through his tummy and finally shit onto the yard.
