"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure" - other examples

My father’s version of this was: I’m never wrong. I thought I was once, but I was mistaken.

I like self-deprecating humor, but I’m not very good at it.

I’m, like, really articulate and stuff.

A lot of these things will be associated withSteven Wright.

And looking up that link I found Paraprosdokian.

Of all my outstanding qualities, humility is my best.

People say I’m condescending - that’s when you talk down to people.

“I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”
(Don’t remember where I first heard it.)

Pretentious, moi?

No one goes there any more, it’s too crowded.

Of course I believe that solipsism is the correct philosophy, but that’s only one man’s opinion.

I bet my wife $50 I could quit gambling.

Regards,
Shodan

I really don’t see the point of posting in this thread.

I constantly worry about how carefree I am.
All generalities are false.
Fight for peace.
Don’t put up with intolerance.

Death to all extremists!

From The Simpsons: “We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.”

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

O God, give me patience - and be quick about it.

I must have told you a MILLION times to stop exaggerating!

The food is terrible and the portions are too small.

Some people say I can be a bit surreal, but purple upside-down frog teats.

I’ve always used variations on, “Last time I was wrong was three years ago, when I had thought I’d made a mistake.”

Also, “that restaurant is always so crowded, nobody goes there anymore.”