I walked out of Return of the King!

I walked out of the Return of the King!

But, it wasn’t really my fault.

I got my tickets for the midnight showing a week ago, and we got there about quarter past eleven on Tuesday. Went in, found our seats, sat back to watch the crowd. Only a few in costume, but the midnight show is always a colorful bunch. Lot of Tolkien geek kids dragging their parents along… and a few Tolkien geek parents dragging their kids along. In my case, my kid and I are both major Tolkien geeks, so we fit right in.

About five minutes before midnight, the previews started. Just about that time, I noticed a slight discomfort a couple of inches below my left shoulder blade. I had been shoveling snow that afternoon, so I didn’t think anything more about it.

By the time that Gandalf and Pippen arived at Minas Tirth, I could barely think of anything else. Every time I took a deep breath, it felt like someone was sticking a dagger in my back. I twisted and squirmed in my seat, trying to find a comfortable position – and failing utterly.

By the time Pippen lit the beacon (a fantastic scene, by the way), I knew I wasn’t going to make it. I could only breath in shallow gasps, until I needed more air, when I would take a deep breath, resulting in such pain that I couldn’t take another breath for a moment or two. I determined to stick it out as long as I could, but each moment it got worse.

Just as Aragorn and company rode into the Paths of the Dead, I told my daughter (who knew something was up – my wimpering had alerted her) that we had to go. Leaving her to gather up our belongings, I staggered out to the lobby.

It was apparent that I couldn’t drive – I could barely breathe. What the hell was it? Was it just muscle strain from shoveling? Way too much pain. A kidney stone? Too high on the back. A heart attack? No chest pain, no referred pain in the arm, nothing.

The theater staff called 911 for me. By the time the ambulance got there, I was lying on a bench in the lobby, gasping for breath, and writhing in agony. I looked up at my daughter and said “My brother… my captain… my King”. She was not amused.

The ambulance crew put me on oxygen, and loaded me into the rig. It was about ten miles to the hospital – a 20 to 30 minute ride this time of year. The oxygen seemed to help, probably because I didn’t have to breathe as hard. By the time we reached the hospital, I in somewhat less pain, and could breathe a little more easily.

At the ER, the staff ran an EKG, which was normal. No heart attack. They took a chest X-ray. No broken ribs, no pneumothorax. They took a urine sample. No kidney stone. They listened to my chest, and they took blood samples, all of which came out negative. They were stumped.

They finally decided that I probably had a low-grade pneumonia, gave me some antibiotics and Percoset, and sent me home. By that time I was, if not comfortable, at least somewhat more so.

So I missed two-thirds of the movie! And what I saw of it was brilliant! My daughter is off to see the rest of the movie this evening, but I won’t be able to leave the house for another two days! I hope to see it on Saturday… if I can wait that long!

My first thread, by the way.

Hol-ee crap.
Take care of yourself, Brother Cad. Hope you’re feeling a lot better soon.

Wow! BrotherCadfael, I am glad you are ok, I saw your thread title and I was ready to scream “heretic!!” at you! :smiley:

Of course, I also thought that “it better be a good excuse” and so it was. Again, I’m very glad to see you are better.

Okay. I was going to say that the only excuse for walking out was if you got a sudden case of diarhhea. But this counts, too. I hope you get to feeling better soon. Go see it as soon as you can, though. The rest is even better than the parts you saw.

Your quote was certainly LOL funny.

Ha! What a fair-weather, bandwagon jumping fan you are. Boy, a little discomfort and off you go.


Hope you feel better soon. You know it only gets better from where you left off.

Congratulations on your first thread.

A real fan would have just passed their pen-knife to the guy behind and asked them to opporate there and then, no sense in missing part of the film for a little ER treatment.
Good luck in the recovery, and I won’t spoil the bit where Legolas and Grimly propose to each other at the end. It wasn’t in the book, but it was very romantic .

No, not even then. You must stay! :eek:

Man. Nice first thread. Welcome to das boardhausens. And sorry that you had to miss Loturh: Rotukuh.

Piker. When I saw The Two Towers, I was attacked by a pack of wolves in the theater. Did I leave without seeing Gandalf’s charge at Helm’s Deep? I DID NOT. I tore my eyes from the screen just long enough to beat them off with my frozen Snickers, and continued to enjoy the show despite the major bleeding and loss of my left leg below the knee.

I came damned close to walking out. Some idiotic late-teen moron with a ghost of a goatee was sitting behind me with his parents, and he and his mother CONSTANTLY talked through the whole movie, mostly him talking to his mother while she asked him to hush up. I asked him several times to be quiet and he would for a while, then he would start up again later. I thought about getting an usher, but I didn’t want to miss the movie plus I was smack in the middle of the row, which made getting out a nightmare.
Finally, after Eowyn killed the Witch King and the crowd started applauding, this moron says LOUD “Why the hell are they clapping, it’s not like the actors can hear them” and I turned around and said to him, just as loud “Shut the fuck up.”
He didn’t talk much after that, but the guy in front of me turns and says “Please don’t use that word, our kids are with us.” I goggle at him and say, quietly, “I apologize, but dude…your kids seeing the severed human heads doesn’t bother you, but the F word does???”

“I looked up at my daughter and said “My brother… my captain… my King”. She was not amused.”

Now that’s grace under pressure. :wink:

And they gave ME grief for wanting to buy a diet coke!

Oh, that old Nazgul dagger wound is still bothering you?

Hope you’re feeling better! :slight_smile:

You looked away from the screen for that? Pussy.

You’re lucky your daughter came with you. My son would’ve said, “Leave me a twenty. I’ll take a cab.”

Hope you’re feeling better.

That is just bloody ridiculous. The guy behind is not going to avert his eyes from the screen. Do you really want someone blindly stabbing around in your innards with a penknife while whispering “Does it still hurt, now?”.

We once lived for six months in a brown paper bag at the edge of the road. Every…

Whoops, sorry…Wrong door

Sounds like you had a panic attack that got started from whatever the pain was. I used to get muscle stiches in my chest that would feel like an electric dagger stab whenever I breathed too deeply. I can definately see how that could balloon into your shortness of breath. Similar things happened to me recently, probably set off by Acid reflux (which can mimic what many who have not yet had a heart attack might consider the “feeling” of a heart attack, but without the key symptoms like sweating and so on).

Though he should have kept his mouth shut, I actually agree with the kid. People that clap and scream out during things like music concerts in the middle of a song or in the middle of a movie are just as obnoxious as this kid sounded.

Well it we’re going for serious diagnosis let me vote for pleurisy. What with the symptoms being relieved by antibiotics and the increased pain on inspiration. Although a medical exam should have picked up the noise. Pleurisy would be just about my first pick for localised chest pain that is reduced by shallower breathing.

I love it when an audience is so into the movie that they cheer and applaud. One of the best movie theater experiences of my life was seeing Independence Day opening night. The crowd was so pumped up I completely did not notice how bad the movie was until I went to see it for a second time.

And not cheering at concerts? Wow. You must hate going to see live music.