Yeah, I know - you’re all shocked - easy-going, good-natured me demanding pity. So ya wanna make something of it?!?
I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy head. It evolved into sniffles and sneezes. I am beset by a SUMMER COLD and it’s put me out of sorts. Not only am I not quite sick enough to stay in bed with a dirty book, with a doting family catering to my needs, but I’m facing a 4+ hour drive to Sarasota this afternoon to spend the weekend with the in-laws.
Lest you protest “But FairyChatMom, why don’t you just go visit the in-laws another time!?!” - my beloved spouse is taking a class in St. Pete early tomorrow morning, so we have to go this weekend. <insert deep, sad sigh here>
Goodness knows I don’t ask a lot from all of you, but this is one of those circumstances that demands an out-of-the-ordinary response.
Cleans out the back seat of FCM’s car.
::(honest enough to return the 37 cents found on the floor board - can I have this really nice Clic-Bic pen, though?)::
Spreads out oversized comforter and pillows along back seat.
Puts small cooler full of juice boxes and ginger ale on floor within easy reach.
Puts box of Kleenex next to cooler.
Ties garbage bag to back of front seat.
::(for the empties and the snotty tissues, of course)::
Finds large bargain hardcover book, cuts large hole in pages and inserts dirty book, safe from nosy onlookers.
::(Hey, you always wanted to read The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire, riiiiiiight? [wink wink, nudge nudge.])::
FairyChatHubby will drive, you sit and relax in the back and list to the nice music on the Walkman.
And wave to me as you are driving throuh Orlando!
oooo - big poofy pillows - thanks, jr8! The chicken soup sounds wonderful about now.
screech-owl - yeah, I really did wanna read that empire-thing book… we’ll be heading across to Gainesville then down 75, but I’ll prolly be too weak to wave anyway… I appreciate the reconfigured back seat tho - very nice!
dang, dpr, I’m sick and you’re making demands?? lemme explain this pity thing - you cater to my pathetic whims till I snap out of it… Now, about those chocolates…
Coo sympathetically.
Poor, sick FCM. Awwwwwwwwww. ::puts FCM’s head in her lap and strokes her hair:: poor, dear.
Bring me chocolates.
Look what I have here! Close your eyes…OK- open 'em!
::shows FCM a big box of Godiva chocolates.:: Better? Better? I knew that would work!
Rub my feet.
::puts FCM’s feet up on her lap and gets out the pretty smelling lotion. Gives FCM a nice foot massage while cooing “Awwwww…poor, sick FCM!”
Pity me.
“Awwwww, I’m sorry you’re so sick! I feel so bad for you! Summer colds are the worst. Poor, poor baby!”
(The above is almost verbatim what happens when my husband is sick- minus the chocolates. I have loads of practice!)
**TroubleAgain **- oooo - Puffs… so much nicer than this sleeve… ick - sorry…
Bosda - actually, my in-laws are OK, and we’re planning to visit the Florida Aquatium in Tampa after hubby’s class is over - I like aquariums… aquaria?? Fishies!!
Airman Doors - thanks for the vibes - almost as soothing as a shoulder rub… I mean, if it’s not too much trouble… <sniff sniff>
Mauvaise - Godiva chocolates?? The best cure-all in the world… uh, will you hang out this Quarantine sign?? I wouldn’t want my child to get my choc… er, germs…
jr8 - I’ve always been of the opinion that ice cream is the perfect defense against a cold - a variant of fighting fire with fire, right?? Thanks, sweetie!
begins to rummage through medicine cabinet, cursing lightly when various things tumble off the shelves and pelt her on shoulders… dodges old birth control pills; a “blackhead remover” that never worked; a bottle of colace --oops–with no top, pills scatter all over the linoleum; some blue eyeshadow…
Aha! Here it is!
triumphantly holds aloft the distinctive blue jar
Vicks vapo-rub. Just like mom used to use!
dips three fingers in, emerges with a huge glob of the stuff. Eyes watering a bit from the camphor/menthol fumes, she approaches FCM
A little of this on the chest and neck, you’ll think you’re six years old again, and boy will it clear your head.
