[QUOTE=Tenebras]
One more thing: it’s a squirrel. Just kill it already.
[/QUOTE]
Ditto on that. Who really has qualms about killing mice in the house? These are just larger.
FWIW, if you can’t discharge a firearm (or pellet gun) without someone seeing, rat traps work really well.
[QUOTE=Zebra]
You should dress up as an attactive female squirrel and lure him into trap. Then hit him on the head with a huge mallet.
[/QUOTE]
This sounds like personal experience! Are you perhaps Elmer Fudd or Tom of Tom and Jerry?
It is my experience that the only thing that keeps more squirrels from being on your property is the presence of squirrels. If you kill or relocate one (probably killing it the process as has already been noted), another will certainly show up to take its place. You might have some success in getting rid of a specific squirrel, but not squirrels in general. You will have better luck in squirrel proofing your house (make sure the squirrel and any progeny is out).
I respectfully disagree with you, ethelbert.
I used to spread some of our sunflower seeds on the ground outside our den, for the pigeons, cardinals, and other ground feeders. Big mistake. We were invaded by squirrels. It was nothing to see 13 or more of those rats with fluffy tails eating the seeds. Couple of years ago, I started picking them off with a pellet gun. Knocked off more than 25 in a matter of a week+. But that’s nothing, what their reproductive rate.
I haven’t really been plunking them since then, but we don’t have the squirrel problem. First we put out platform feeders, strewing nothing on the lawn. But a cou0le of the damn squirrels would scurry up a downspout and jump in the feeders.
So, we put dome-shaped shields over the feeders and the squirrels have given up. Now they get their food the old fashioned way - acorns fallen from trees and whatever else they can forage for.
We don’t have a squirrel problem anymore.
[QUOTE=danceswithcats]
Or, buy a party ball and invite over your friends. Once the tree rat is in the trap, take turns peeing on him, until he drowns. 
[/QUOTE]
That sounds oddly familiar. We must have been in undergrad together.
Lawn Darts.
Quicklime.
Folding Shovel.