You’ve probably heard the phrase, “It’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven.”
I believe no one has applied modern industrial food processing technology to this problem, until now! With the Camelator, putting a camel through the eye of a needle is easy peasy. The camel enters the Camelator though a camel-sized door and is swftly reduced to a slurry suitable for transport via truck, tanker or pipeline to the enclaves of the wealthy, and the slurry can be run through needles at the convenience of the wealthy.
This sounds like the “pink slime” method of meat extraction that made headlines starting a few years ago (in the wake of E. Coli outbreaks).
I’d be all for telling the really wealthy CEOs of Con-Agra and Cargill that they have to pass through the eye of a needle in order to enter the kingdom of Heaven, and we have the equipment standing by to make that happen.
Don’t want God to think we’re trying to pull one over on him. To be fair, I think we would want to use a need the same size as the ones around in biblical times, which I’d guess are already larger than today’s needle eyes.
Mad magazine’s Al Jaffee answered this pressing need in his 1970 paperback The Mad book of Magic and Other Dirty Tricks.
To get a Camel through the Eye of a Needle all you have to do is put the camel in a helicopter and fly it through. “So show me where it says what size needle!”
the best part is, No Camels get Injured During the Making of this potentially blasphemous exercise.