This was definitely a first for me today. Not so much the fact that I got into a physical confrontation with someone, as that has happened a couple times since I’ve been in a chair, but the sheer unexpectedness and one-sided nature of the confrontation.
Like the title says, yesterday I was assaulted. It happened (of course) right inside the lobby to my gym just after I had arrived yesterday. When I get there and exit my car and approach the front doors, I see a car sitting there idling, completely blocking the cut curb to the front doors. As I was wheeling towards the car, I see a lady sitting there and I motion to her that I need to get by and her car is blocking me. She replies (in a rather obnoxious manner); “Yeah, yeah, I’m moving”, just as some big guy is getting into the passenger seat (it’s dark outside so I can’t see very well).
Before she pulls away, I say “Ma,am, you know this isn’t the best place to park.” As the car starts to drive away, the man (who I didn’t know at the time was the husband), yells out the window, “You shut the f*@k up you rude motherf*@ker!!” I sat there in shock for a minute and then wheeled inside.
Once inside I check in at the front desk and I tell the employees about the crazy thing that had just happened. As I am telling it, the man (the husband) comes back
inside the gym, coming directly for me. “You and me need to have a SERIOUS discussion!”, he shouts. “You aren’t the only disabled person on the face of the planet, you know.” “You are just a selfish asshole!” And he goes on for a bit more. Then he goes to leave! I say, “whoa, whoa, whoa!” “Hold on one second, all I did was say to your wife that parking in front of the cut curb wasn’t a good idea.” “You can’t come in here and say all these terrible things and not even let me respond.”
“The hell I can’t”, he shouts, and (keep in mind this is a huge man, albeit fat) grabs hold of my left shoulder and shoves me as hard as he could. Of course I go flying out of my chair onto the floor and my chair flips upside down. Luckily, my head didn’t hit anything and I was unhurt.
As soon as I hit the ground, I saw this fat guy trying to walk out the front doors. I shouted to the front desk, “Call the police! And please don’t let the fat man leave.” “I was just assaulted!” Now this happened in the middle of the lobby at like 6pm, so there were all kinds of people around who saw this.
The management helped me back up into my chair (I didn’t really need it but what the hell?) and brought me into their office where I told them I intended on pressing charges. They understood and they said the police were on their way. The fat man was still there, however, and once he realized I intended on pressing charges, his demeanor changed unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.
It really was pathetic. This man was groveling, apologizing profusely, trembling even. I was expecting him to start crying. Seriously. He was telling me he knew he had all sorts of personal issues regarding his weight and his disability (he has a bad knee, not sure how much of that is due to his obesity) which makes him lash out. It was sad and pathetic, really. As I was sitting there, watching this lump of a man, thinking about the headache I’d have to go through if I did indeed press charges, I decided to not press them. I just didn’t want to deal with it.
When the cops got there, I informed them that I had decided against pressing charges. However, we were required to give accounts of what happened and a report was written up. But the whole thing was crazy. Indeed.
*Today I get to the gym and see this same fat man again (gym management hasn’t yet determined his ultimate membership status). He again was groveling, profusely apologetic and quite pathetic. But I must say, I was struck by his seemingly genuine tone of contrition and honesty. He tells me that as soon as he left the gym yesterday he had a talk with his wife and he understands why I said what I said. When his wife dropped him off at the gym today, she dropped him off at the curb, thus leaving the cut-curb open and barrier free.
I sensed nothing but honest self-disgust coming from this guy. And, in a way, it turned out to be a win-win. These people, the man and wife, learned why cut-curbs are so important and why not blocking them is so necessary as well. Similarly, there is one less vehicle out there blocking the curbs for me and all the others that depend on their clearance everyday. It’s a shame that it had to come about by way of assault, but at least it concluded on a positive note.
(and to Bob Ducca: I resisted the urge to sue the bastard for everything he had ;))
