I was going to start a Pit thread about SexyWriter.

The BBQ Pit
1

Then I actually read some of what she’s written…and she seems reasonably grounded, down-to-earth, and seems to be taking a lot of nonsense with a grain of salt.

So…

Would the men on this board PLEASE take their free porn-riddled, desperate, lunging, sweaty, sloppy, gross, odiferous, slobbering, testosterone-laden selves to a porn site where there actually GIVE a shit and stop it with the threads/posts/accolades to women on this board SOLELY ON THE BASIS OF WHETHER OR NOT THEY’VE MENTIONED THEIR TITS?

I wanted to HATE SexyWriter. It’s obvious from her handle that this sort of nasty, crusty-fingered gibbering is something she gets off on, or she wouldn’t be as fucking onvious as she has been, putting the word “sexy” in her HANDLE. However, a couple of her threads have been hijacked just so the (I assume, from casual observation) long-unwashed XY’ers can beg her to let them fuck her.

Yeah, she’s letting herself in for a lot of it. However, on a board such as this, in which a healthy proportion of the people who read have above-average intelligence, it’s a nasty hob-nailed kick in the ass to those females of us who aren’t shoving our breasts and labial piercings in your faces when you will jump all over (both literally and figuratively) the first piece of meat to present itself with a wiggle and some cleavage.

I wouldn’t touch most of you with a 50-foot pole. The way y’all talk, I don’t know - and don’t WANNA know - where the hell you’ve been sticking that thing.

2

I’ve seen her post in a few threads and I haven’t really seen the phenomenon you speak of, could you give me some links? I’ve been away for a while.

Umm… and as I am also a little slow, what you’re trying to say is that guys who are sex-obsessed should piss off, with nothing against SexyWriter, right?

Thanks for helping the clueless LaurAnge.

3

I think it might have something to do with this

4

Although I don’t sense a great deal of anti-SexyWriter sentiment in Hamadryad’s OP, I still feel that I must speak up on SW’s behalf. She seems to be a bright, thoughtful person with an enviably high self-esteem. A few of our colleagues in the SDMB may possible be…obsessed…with her nursing capacity. She doesn’t exactly discourage them.

Being sort of uptight, I’m uncomfortable discussing SW’s handle. She has a webpage, at which we can discover more about her – Laura instead of SexyWriter.

I agree with the idea that we XY-ers ought to go easy on the “Show me your tits!” business. There are pages for you people. Go find them.

One final thing: Hamadryad, you’re all right!

5

I am a (fairly) smart person. I am a sexual person.

And in fact, I have the libido of a high school football team. And a starved, debate-seeking intellect.

I don’t see anything wrong with either of these things, or with my many other facets or interests.

Using the word “Sexy” in your identifier doesn’t mean you’re “asking for it” anymore than wearing a short skirt does. I AM sexy. And not necessarily because of how I look. I say this partly because I find intelligence very sexy and figure I can keep up with any suitors who come my way in THAT realm as well as in the bedroom.

Also, this is a self-confidence move on my part. As someone who’s lost more than 50% of my body weight, I find it comforting and beneficial to be confident about my physical appearance and sexuality.

Not only that, but so far, when I’ve posted about serious topics, I haven’t been interrupted with “proposals.” It’s only when I’m being obnoxiously sexual that that happens. When the thread was about piercings, I mentioned mine and then continued to joke about it in other contexts.

I agree…it’s an irritation when men interrupt conversations about OTHER things to make crude comments. But if you’ll look at my post regarding my ethnic heritage, you’ll find only sensitive, interesting, pertinent replies. When I make overtly sexual comments, I get overtly sexual replies back. I don’t really see anything wrong with that.

Perhaps I’m missing the point here. But I certainly didn’t intend to offend anyone. And so far, I haven’t been personally offended.

-L

6

Yeah, you should talk, Hama… http://www.cybercomm.net/~grandpa/hamadryadx.html

Way to pick a non-sexual, non-flirty handle.

7

…and the clueless begin to check in, one at a time, having missed the point entirely…

8

As a sex obsessed male, I would just like to point out that the few times I’ve seen someone make blatent sexual passes at you, you have failed to berate them and downplay them for sex obssesed males…

I’m detecting a double standard here. Then again, it could be me. Thinking about sex every 7 seconds tends to disrupt my thought process.

Now, I flirt. I flirt with Tequila Mockingbird and I flirted with Welfy to the best of my ability. It’s fun, and harmless.

I would flirt with you (I’ve seen your picture, and I usually like your posts) but now I am afraid of you.
BTW… so, SexyWriter… how you doin’?

9

Okay…so what WAS the point? If we’ve missed it, please clarify.

-L

10

I’m doing great! Actually, I was having a really shitty week, but the fact that someone started a happy little thread in my honor sort of perked me up. It was an ego boos that truly did me some good.

Tequila is way cool! What a GREAT name and terrific, well written posts. I’d flirt with her too if I knew her better.

I don’t understand the jist of this OP at all. I assumed it was that women who are talking about REAL topics don’t like to be interrupted with sexual proposals. Which is pretty much true. Though, I admit, I tend to use sexual jokes as a sort of “comedic relief” when I feel uncomfortable about a topic.

I pointed out that when I have serious topics to discuss, I’m generally given MORE respect and consideration than I would ordinarily expect. God, I wrote this long bitchy rant about my annoying landlady and I got all this good advice! I figured people would chuckle a little and that would be the end of it, but true ATTORNEYS contacted me to give me real live solutions to my problem!!!

And I was really surprised at the thing about my ethnic heritage too. I thought I was talking about something amusing to me and all these people rang in with their similar stories, advice, praise…I was amazed! I figured I’d get a few smart ass comments and that would be it, but all these people had real INSIGHT into why I felt the way I did. They had experiences that made mine look like a miniscule event. Gave me perspective and other points of view.

I remember when I used to be really reactionary about anything sexual…when I was first discovering how feminist I was. I was probably not much older than the author of the OP, who is apparently about 18. At my age now (31), I have no qualms about being sexual in some circumstances. I enjoy it…and again, because of the recent change in my phsyical appearance, I find it fascinating when people (not just men) find me physically attractive.

Could someone PLEASE tell me what the point was, if I’ve missed it so badly?

-L

11

Apparently, I missed something regarding the age of the OP’er. Guess I’m a bit of a scatterbrain this evening. Forgive me…

-L

12

Backpedal much? If you’re going to insult me, go ahead and insult me. Be loud and proud about it. You’ll be ahead of at least 75% of the people I know.

I didn’t insult you once. Re-read.

I never said it was bad to be proud of one’s body. Re-read.

I never said it was bad or shameful or immoral to be blatant about one’s sexuality. Re-read.

I started this thread thinking SexyWriter was a reasonably cool chick. Re-read.

All by herself, she has changed my mind. Bravo!!

13

Hey, I admitted it…

And as to the “18 year old thing”, I got the impression she checked your profile (and must have looked at the wrong one), and rechecked it after to realize her mistake (or something like that), I didn’t think it was meant as an insult.

So, what is the point of your post? Are you objecting to men who find pleasure in reading about more innocent writings of women about their breasts, and the women write about their body parts, fueling the males’ fire? If not, please enlighten me.

(This entire post is meant to be read in a non-attacking, non-sarcastic manner. Thank you.)

14

To interject before the misunderstanding blows way out of porportion (It’s happened to me and I know where this is going), SexyWriter was responding to Ham’s “clueless” post. If Ham was, in fact, referring to Sexy as clueless then I don’t see how she (Hama) can believe she didn’t insult Sexy.

However, if Ham was replying to Finagle, then she really needs to make herself clear. So Ham, who are you calling clueless? Everyone who responded to the OP? Only certain people?

You’ve suggested that the OP be re-read. As if the conversation started and ended there. It didn’t. I, for one, want to figure out exactly what it is you are trying to say myself.

15

The way I read everything, and I’ve been following this from the start, is this:

Ham initialliy had a problem with SW. (a woman thing) But after looking a little deeper, realized the problem wasn’t SW but the fawning males (I was one in the beginning, myself).

Someone basically mentioned that Ham might be calling the kettle black about name meanings.

Sexy is confused as to why someone told her she’s being “called to the pit”, does a slight over-reaction, rechecks herself, and then corrects herself, as well as explaining why she posts the way she does, but still feeling a bit “personally attacked” as would most anyone being talked about in the pit, and assumes immaturity, but re-checks herself again and apologizes.

Ham again mentions that this thread is NOT a flame on SW, but the horny males that go into a dick waving frenzy anytime SW mentions her tits.

And we are back to the starting point, where this thread is not about SW, but the male harems that pop up.

Anyone who doesn’t get it, re-read everything slowly. Ham has a point. SW does talk about tits, etc. She also talks intelligently about certain topics, but the focus of everyone else, more often than not, turns from what the main body of her topic is to panning for first dibs to get her nekkid. At first, I was guilty of making an innuendo myself, but upon getting no reaction, I made no more attempts at flirting, assuming that she doesn’t want to hear that type of thing.

So after a few threads, we are back to the beginning. Everyone calm down… breathe deep a few times… and read slow.

16

Thanks Turbo.

I don’t think I should read more slowly. I think you should follow me around from thread to thread and interpret for me.

The above was a joke (sometimes ya gotta clarify).

17

I was coming in to defend Hama but I see that TurboDog has beat me to it. Although, being one of the women that Hama surely hates for the ongoing sexual innuendo and flirting, I can see what she is talking about.

She is not insulting SW, she is just tired of the obscene amount of male fawning that has gone on since SW first showed up and was noticed. It’s like the entire population of SD males have never encountered anyone more incredible in their lives. Who knows, maybe they haven’t. SW seems to just happen to have all of the characteristics and interests that appeal to Doper men. Is that something she should be faulted for? No. She is who and what she is. Hama realizes this. I think she made that very clear in the OP.

18

Given that Hama has shown no particular objection to being fawned over herself in the past, it’s very easy to interpret her OP as “There’s a new shameless hussy in town and she’s stealing our men folk!”. Frankly, all I can see that she’s managed is to to hurt a few people’s feelings and reveal herself as a far less cool person than previous posts might have indicated.
Sign me,

“Clueless in Massachusetts”

19

SexyWriter is a grown woman who is comfortable with her sexuality and likes to flirt. This thread would not have started unless Hamadryad was pissed. In getting a handle on the essence of what peeved her Hamadryad half heartedly absolved SexyWriter for being an intellectual Wonderbra and put the onus on the males to stop openly pursuing onanistic fantasies about SexyWriter. Testosterone and highly developed one handed typing skills makes the realization of this request fairly unlikely.

The statement that some of her posts are “a nasty hob-nailed kick in the ass to those females of us who aren’t shoving our breasts and labial piercings in your faces when you will jump all over (both literally and figuratively) the first piece of meat to present itself with a wiggle and some cleavage.” is interesting. I thought one of the tenets of the modern feminist perspective was that women were empowered to take charge of their own sexuality and how they chose to present it. If that includes getting lonely mouse jockeys to make slobbering jackasses of themselves, so be it. It’s cheap entertainment and Sexy Writer isn’t kidding herself about her motives. Others should take note.

20

I promised myself I wouldn’t say anything, well I am breaking that promise but I will do my best to keep this in the tone of why I think this whole thread is wrong, in the right way. I am not here to flame but to point out why Hama’s post is interpreted as mean spirited by many who have chimed in.

First of all, I realize that Hama is ticked over the men of this board that trip over their own tongues to make a post to SexyWriter. Honestly I see nothing wrong with this. There is perpetual flirting on this board in many, many threads. It lightens up the boards. Most all of us, even some married people have done it.

Now, what bothers me about this thread is that Hama stated she wanted to hate SexyWriter but changed her mind yet she states:

In my opinion, this is a stab at SexyWriter for whatever Hama feels are crimes on this board. Mainly for whatever threads offend her. But in the same breath she states a small sentence that the men are the ones that disgust her. This is conflicting in it’s structure. “I wanna hate you, your name disgusts me to all that is life but the men can be gooberheads because they wanna fuck you.”

Then:

This in itself is difficult, based on the previous comment, to know where she is going with this. As someone else said, it’s like the girl in the mini skirt who was sexually assaulted but because she was wearing the mini skirt it was her fault.

Now if Hama had come out with guns swinging stating something like:

“Geez, have you men no shame? A new member pops on the boards and you see it as fresh meat? Blah, blah, blah. I cite these threads as examples. You are being complete and total assholes for this behavior, blah, blah, blah.”

Rather than dragging SexyWriter through this as an example and giving her good jabs along the way, I think most people would take it seriously. But the moment that Hama says it’s all about the men but based on comments she made about SexyWriter in a VERY unlikable way she alienated many on this subject. If she was sincere in the OP, she would not have said the things she said and kept to the original idea, that she was pissed that the men drool, faun and want whoever…Sheesh. In my eyes Hama’s post is wrong, very wrong.

“I wanted to hate but because your name is…because you discuss…because…oh and BTW on a side note, the men suck.”