It just hit me today, I’ve been on the SDMB for over a year now. I guess I have to say I’m one of the less chatty posters. I don’t think many people will recognize me if my name came up. “7 up yours? Who? Doesn’t ring a bell.” That’s okay though. I wouldn’t describe myself as a lurker, but I’d rather sit back and read, maybe make the odd comment once in a while. Most of the time, when I find myself having an opinion or comment, I find that it’s been said before, and therefore pretty useless to put “I agree” just to pipe in with something.
I think a part of me is still sad. I mean, at the moment, I’m not sad and crying, but it’s that feeling deep inside. In this diverse community of users, I’m sure some of you understand what I’m saying. In the past few days, though, I’ve been thinking and I realise that I can’t do anymore of this. I have this - well, I can’t call him my friend, but I guess someone I respect (it’s a pretty long story) - tell me to get real help. And I am going to listen to him. There’s no point in asking for his opinion and help if I am not going to follow through with it. I’m still sad, but I’m determined to make myself feel better.
But back to talking about the SDMB. Even when I was sad, I could come on here and read the threads and replies and amuse myself. I wish I could count the times I cracked up over some of your funny cracks on other posters’ comments, or the amusment I get when I read the less serious pittings, or how many times my heart warmed at some of your well intended advice for people who needed opinions, but all these have happened so many times that it’s probably better just to leave it at: many times. Sorry for rambling. Sometimes, I wish I could have more input in this community, but either way, thanks for giving me a smile when I needed it.
Well, FWIW, I certainly recognize your screen name. Always found it amusing. And I do know what you mean. I’ve certainly made some friends here, but I hardly think I’m one of those posters where, when people see I’m the one who wrote the OP, they’ll read it, just cuz they like my stuff. But that’s okay. One of the great things about this place is its diversity.
But I’m glad you’re taking your friend’s advice. Certainly, there is good advice to be had here, but it’s no substitute for honest to God professional help. If you need real help, you should definitely get it. It took me years to get to the point where I could even accept that I might need counseling, but after going for a couple of years, I sure had a lot of things straightened out!
FWIW I recognise your name instantly.
(I had a much longer post typed up but it had the usual Lobsang™ brand of completely misunderstanding the op air about it so I closed it)
I recognize your name, too, and I think I understand how you feel. I’ve been here for quite some time, and I’ve always felt that I’m on the edge of the community, kind of on the outside looking in. I’ve always felt that was due to my not diving in, though, and not that the community is unwelcoming at all.
Sometimes, especially if you’re depressed, it’s difficult to reach out or to feel truly connected to other people. This medium is spectacularly unsuited to helping that feeling, and it’s good that you’ve got some real, face-to-face, professional help to get through. Maybe one day you’ll start feeling like you want more input here, and you’ll be able to act on that.
Do you know me? That’s why I carry the American Express card.
Don’t feel bad, I’ve been here 4 years and I doubt most know me from Adam. That’s OK. I visit just about everyday, I just rarely have anything to add. BTW, I recognized your name right away. It’s one of my favorites.
This first part is for both the OP, 7 up yours and InternetLegend - I instantly recognize both of your user names and consider you at least as much a part of this community as I am (that may be deemed faint praise by some - oh, well).
For the OP: It’s difficult to pinpoint when depression set in. It was somewhere between the ages of 17 and 19. It lasted several years, and a failed romance and a brutal exposure to the music business undoubtably triggered my deepest, darkest journeys. During that time I, as you also seem to indicate, enjoyed moments of mirth and humour that are rarer today.
But the black cloud greeted every dawn, and I wore 50 pound feet to struggle through the day. It was debilitating.
And I sought help. I couldn’t easily pay for it, but it was worth the sacrifice. Between a regimen of tri-cyclic antidepressants and a shrink I connected with, I beat the beast.
I finished that fight almost 30 years ago. Since that time I’ve seen many a situation that might have overwhelmed me in the past. But the depression’s gone and it’s never come back. I don’t think it ever can - I can deal with the stuff that comes along.
It took about a year.
Good luck with it, pal*! Do it!
*****[sub]And I realize I don’t know if you’re a guy or a gal - women are pals, too.[/sub]
7 up yours - I definitely recognize your name, and I feel much the same as you do about the SDMB. More often than not, what I wanted to say has already been said, and much better than I ever could have, not to mention all the times I’ve hit reply and started to type something, then given up because it just didn’t come out right. But I have fun here - I’ve learned a lot and laughed a lot in the bit over a year I’ve been here, and I do feel like I’m part of a community, if only from the periphery.
I hope that you can find the help you need to feel better. Seeing your name on the forum list always makes me smile.
Hey, 7…I recognise the name, and like you, I am an infrequent poster. We are not alone! And of course the community here consists of all types, so post and read as you will.
Look on the positive side, <b>7 Up Yours</b>. I recognize your name instantly. Of course, that may not be that comforting, considering that I’ve been around for two years and nobody has any clue who I am.
Someone, it might have been Mark Twain, said something along the lines of: “Not everyone should be in the parade; they also serve who only sit and watch”. That’s how I feel about being here. Yeah, I contribute a fair bit, but I’m not half as funny as, say, Scylla or Master Wang-Ka. I don’t express myself as well as Shodan or polycarp. I don’t have the extraordinary common sense of MandJO or TeaElle. I’m not as compassionate as Scotticher or Seige, but I sit and watch. And learn. And by doing so, I alos serve.
These Dopers are only examples, folks. I love the rest of ya, too!
I feel the same way about my name not really ringing a bell. But like others, I do recognize your screenname.
Another problem, though, is that people may indeed, even recognize my screenname, but not remember anything about my character. Then I remind myself that most of the posters I remember for their character have disturbingly annoying personality traits
Whenever I see one of those T-shirts from that ad campaign or if anyone makes a reference to it I think “Hey, there’s someone on the SDMB that used that as a screen name.”
I not only recognize your name, but equate you with the SDMB regulars. One of the “in-crowd”, one who is well liked and respected.
I am sorry you are feeling sad but fortutately you have friends and will get help. I am dealing with a massive dose of depression myself, and frankly, I don’t care to get better. Right now I cannot muster the energy to give a damn.
