Yes you could. You could have kept it merely at the thought level, instead of allowing it to graduate to spoken word between guffaws. You did not want to, however, so you did not keep your thought to yourself.
Nice way to try and remove the blame of the story from you. Indeed, why would anyone be embarrassed by you pointing out how poor they are, to have to buy used underwear?
Perhaps those of us who have been dirt poor assume (or, after now, assumed) that those with money also are similarly not poor when it comes to grace or tact. When you’re poor, you know it; nobody needs to point it out to you.
I’d rather not get into exactly what meds I was taking but I will say for a while I was taking Ritalin and I don’t anymore…and there is nothing neurogical going on I just loves being an asshole in public, thats just it.
You know what I just thought about…that guy should have apologized to me for forcing me to say what I said. What the hell was he thinking buying underwear from a thrift store and expecting not to get clowned, yeh right.
No, but seriously I did take ritalin for a while and then was briefly on a different drug but it turned me into a “zombie” so my Mom took me off of it.
Then later my Mom went through an herbal remedy phase and I was taking this *nasty * herbal tea every night that was supposed to make me behave, I suppose.
Anyway I had or have ADHD but compare me to how I was when I was between 10-13 then you would say I was an Angel now.
Not trying to make excuses, I have to say that because I’m sure someone will come along and say “ADHD is not a real disease and it’s no excuse for your actions, you should START minding your own damn business START.” and I’ll be like “damn”.
Of course it’s a joke…come on if really felt that way don’t you think I’d atleast keep it to myself?
It’s a joke, but I get the feeling that anytime I START a thread like this I have one foot in the “pit” already.
So let me say this before someone else does; Well it wasn’t a very funny joke…
The Bolded part covers what I find disturbing. One , that you assume what everyone thinks, two , that its a practical joke /gag/ whatever , and that everyone else agrees with you, all you really did in your opinion was to state it outloud.
Amazing
Generally speaking , people that find themselves in new economic conditions usually have taken a major blow to their pride, their self esteem is gone , they are in survival mode, you and your buds probably shattered whats left of his confidence.
Small piece of advice , learn Tact
All right , nuff said about past history.
One of your posts further on in the thread ,says basically that you are a train wreck waiting to happen and have lots of issues that need to be dealt with.
I personally could care less what your problems are , the one thing about this board is that for everyone that saves a cat , or does some good , or what have you , on one end of the scale ,there is someone like you on the other end, that makes society a worse place to live.
When , not if , you crash and burn , I hope there is someone on this or another board that is compasionate enough to rebuild you, cause on the spread sheet of life , you are way over on the debit side.
Why so dramatic? I have to say that between the actual incident and my writing this thread my choice of how to describe what went on has made this seem much worse than it is, well actually to some people has made me seem much worse than I am.
I had written this thread a couple times before posting and perhaps I should have gone with my original tone of being more remorseful but I didn’t so this is what happens.
This being a message board where people cannot observe each other every single day a few “asshole” threads here and there can make a person seem like an “ass” when they aren’t.
You could say whether or not I should have written this thread at all but I did and that was my choice so I’m cool with it.
If I told only about the nice things I’ve done then people would think I am an angel but if I tell something like this then I have painted a picture of myself that unfortunately isn’t very flattering even if most of the time I am a nice guy who will do anything to help anybody and that’s on the truth.
Maybe the asshole shit is more memorable and I START threads about it, I don’t know but don’t get it twisted my attitude that may come across in some of these threads like this I think betrays my true self. I am not throwing books out of moving cars everyday and insulting complete strangers but unfortunately that’s who I have become in your collective eyes and I am sorry. Most likely I will do something stupid, START a thread about it and possibly get pitted but the next time I will try hard not to come off as a jerk who is trying to justify reprehensible actions.
When I do something nice that I think is “thread worthy” I will START a thread about it and not care who does or doesn’t respond but it will be there just for the sake of saying to all my SDMB community that I’m really not the guy that I have somehow made you all picture me to be…which is basically a mean and bratty kid and I want everybody to know that there is a huge difference between the picture and the person.
Cynical maybe , but not dramatic. Dramatic would have been where I added that part I deleted about how would you have felt if you caused this individual to commit suicide.
Again , this is the part where I might sound cynical, and reading too much into a post , but that sounds like you were gaming your Posts, either for the most sympathy ,attention , or what have you. I am leaving enough room left , to think thats how you actually meant it , but…
What you write or don’t write is entirely your choice , but you knew that replies were going to run the gamut between people that would attempt to guide you , to something like mine. Are you surprised at the replies or did you expect something different ?
I’m getting the impression that, not only have you known this since before this thread, you’ve been actively courting a pitting as you seem to be very attention-starved and any attention is better than none.
Someone already said that in this thread and that did cross my mind.
Attention whore, sympathy whore everybody will think what they want to.
If I wanted attention, I got it. I f I wanted sympathy, I didn’t.
Really though, I never really have any other motive in writing a thread than writing a thread and sometimes they to my surprise get alot of reponses or get few responses. Normally after writing a thread I estimate it will recieve between 10 and 20 replies.
I expected everyone to be nice…no actually I did’nt. I expected everything from “START your a jerk” to “Oh I’ve done worse” and that was when I had read the thread after hitting the “Submit Reply” button and I couldn’t take it back.
I think about what I write before I write it believe it or not and live with the consequences as far as this board goes. Although I never wanted to be seen as a jerk because that’s just not me at all.
I don’t want to get pitted…any attention is not better than none.
I just have to acknowledge that when I press “Submit Reply” there is no taking it back and if I submit something like this then there is that possibility of being drug into the pit.
I check out the board often but I am not on here all day and all night although today might be an exception so I don’t need a lot of attention, you all know the name START and that’s all the attention anyone should want on a message board if I wanted more attention than that I would force myself to stay away from the SDMB for a while.
We see you based on how you present yourself here. You represent yourself here; nobody else does that. What we think is not based on some SDMB dart board with number values corresponding to responses. You can actually change how people react to your posts (or to seeing that you have posted), but it requires more acknowledgment of control of the situation than I think you might be comfortable with.
Exactly my point which was “ooops I’m a nice guy but I haven’t presented myself very well”
I didn’t realize how I had made myself out to be and unfortunately I can’t honestly say none of these bad things never happened but I can say I did not present the majority of the times I am being a really good citizen.
I was going to go to bed and ignore this one, but…
Here’s a Bible passage for you, START, seeing as you are a Christian and all:
Now imagine that poor widow, leaving just a teeny-tiny offering when everyone else is leaving big sums of money. Imagine the shame she must have felt among that rich crowd. Now picture our Savior, instead of ridiculing this poor woman (as others around her might well have been), He commends her. Such is the Grace and love we receive, START. You would be wise to remember that.
Oooh, oooh, and let’s not forget:
Ok? Not trying to preach at you, brother. (Or anyone else on this thread, for that matter.) But since you and I are siblings by our faith, I thought it would be a good idea to remind you that one of Jesus’s “hot topics” was the condition and care of the poor. I’d suggest picking up the Bible for a couple minutes each day - before the day begins, perhaps - to curb your impulse control problems. It might just serve as a reminder for the rest of day to bite your lip as needed.
Why the heck wouldn’t selling used underwear be legal? Do you think your ass does something irreversible to your drawers? I doubt they could sell genuinely ‘crusty’ underwear, but after throwing it into the washer with hot water, bleach and soap? Ta da! Clean, used underwear. I hate to break it to you, kiddo, but you are wearing used underwear right now! The minute you took it out of the package and put it on, it became used.
Rude, repulsive, immature, behavior. It’s none of your business what the guy was buying, nor did you have the right to vet his purchases. Disgusting. And the girl behind the counter should have been fired. If I’d been in the store when this happened I would have turned her in to the management.
You think? And how nice that you privileged children (including the one who makes a living selling used clothes to people) know exactly the course that your lives will take.
And here’s the worst of it – you could have helped it, if you’d wanted to. You did intent to hurt and embarrass him – for the amusement of your friends. Your desire to smart off to your friends meant more to you than this poor guy’s humiliation. My brother’s got the world’s worst case of ADHD – at your age he had almost no impulse control – but he would never, NEVER have humilated a stranger for a cheap laugh. As a short, skinny, redheaded, hyperactive kid he was too often the butt of other’s jokes to ever make rude fun of somebody else. By the time he was your age, he was a muscular football player, but he never forgot (and hasn’t to this day, although he is 43 years old) what it felt like to be held up to ridicule.
Obviously most people don’t think the way you do. It is equally obvious that you did, indeed, mean to be rude. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, and I don’t see much evidence that you are. You’re still claiming that you were in the grip of something bigger than yourself (“I couldn’t help it,” “I didn’t mean to,” “It wasn’t my intention…”). I call bullshit on that and repeat – you ought to be ashamed. Since you lack the moral compass to be ashamed of yourself, then I’ll go ahead and be ahamed of you. You make me glad there are no SDMB t-shirts. I don’t care to be recognised as a member of the same community as the likes of you.
START, you said that you were a Christian. I assume that you are not Catholic (neither am I and I hope this doesn’t offend any Catholics.) There are good things about every denomination. Two of the great things about Catholicism are the acts of confession and pennance.
You just confessed. Good for you! Your screwup is now out in the open, and you now see how big of a mistake it really was. I know you don’t want to do this sort of thing again, and i’m sure that you will try not to.
Now, pennance is going to be a little tougher. After all, you can’t take back what you said, and you can’t change how that guy feels about the incident, but you can do some good to try to offset the bad. Volunteer to work with the homeless, give eight hours of your time. This will give you something good to feel about and will let you see how these people live. You will be a better man for it. After all, it’s not only about how you make others feel, it’s also about what you make of yourself.
Also, buy two packs of new underwear in your size and donate them to a thrift store.
I’m sure that some kids said the same thing about Bernie Goetz.
Look, yes, I too find it a little gross to buy used underwear at a thrift store (well, depends on what you’re buying-my sister used to work at Salvation Army, and oh, the stories she could tell you!). BUT…if you had to say something, couldn’t it have waited until the guy left, or until you were alone with your friends?
Look, kiddo, I have ADHD too, AND Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. And I won’t lie and say I haven’t done some truly assholish things as a dumb kid, either.
That being said, can you honestly not see why that guy was so embarassed? You have said in the past you were ashamed when your weathier friends came to your house. Now, imagine you’re at school, and your friend is telling EVERYONE what your house looks like. And everyone is pointing at you and laughing. And then he says, “Hey, I didn’t MEAN to be rude! And you must not be too embarassed, since you invited me in the first place!”
It’s really NONE of your business why this guy was buying undies from the thrift store. Maybe he needed something to use as dust rags. Maybe he WAS on a dare. Or maybe he’s poor and that’s all he could afford. Either way, it’s not something he needs to explain to you.
Now stop making excuses for what you did. I think you do realize that what you did was very, very nasty. ADHD does exist, but it’s NOT a valid excuse. Be an adult and own up to what you did. Yes, you DID intend to be nasty. Yes you DID embarass someone. No, it’s NOT okay.
:eek: :mad: