I woke up screaming this morning.

The dream wasn’t even that intense, as dreams go.

In the dream, I was lying on my living room sofa (I was actually sleeping in bed though, not on the sofa). In real life there is a window directly behind the sofa. In my dream the window had morphed into a narrow horizontal transom about 5 feet up. I looked up from the sofa and saw the heads of two people in ninja hoods looking down at me. Surprised but not really alarmed, I made a “go away” gesture with my hand, like swatting away gnats. But instead of going away, one of the ninjas began to climb through the window. At this point I jumped to my feet and yelled “Get out of here!”

This last action corresponded with my real-life self sitting upright in bed and letting out a very high-pitched scream that I think sounded something like “Geouoeeeee!!!” It woke my wife up, but after confirming I was OK she slipped back into her own dreams. I, however, never did get back to sleep, and spent the next hour and a half lying there waiting for the alarm clock. So now I’m tired and my throat kind of hurts.

Nice way to start the day.

Any day where you survive an attack by a pair of ninjas is bound to have nothing worse happen to you until at least the drive home. I’d say enjoy it, and maybe buy a couple of lottery tickets when you’re out and about at lunch time.