Let's share your surreal dreams!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So I just woke up from a crazy dream that is something like a B-rated horror movie; all the vermin on Earth - rats, bugs, ants, spiders - has ganged up into one big swarm and are devouring/capturing people left and right. Then I notice a rat at a corner of the room - that was freaky.

What was even more freaky was then I realised there were a cat in a room. Wait a sec; where did it come from? Then I took a careful look and saw there were three cats! I pointed at the rat and said, “Rat! Rat! Get it!”

The three cats (they are quite cute - too bad I don’t have the time to take pictures) got the rat eventually, and one of them came up to me, stood on its hind legs and said, “Good luck and good job!”

Incredulous, I asked, “You can talk?”

The cat’s reply was, “No!” and it extended a furry paw for me to shake.

I shook the cat’s paw (hand?) and said, “Thanks” and it said, “You’re welcomed”

And that’s when I really woke up.

So what are you really surreal dreams?

2

I once dreamt that I was a giant spider. I was so big that I was camoflaged as a circus tent. My legs were the tent poles and my body was the roof. People would push aside the canvas sides (don’t know why I had those) and walk underneath me, and I would grab them, suck them dry and eat them.

This dream was so bizarre and vivid that I woke up physically ill, and had to run to the bathroom and vomit. A tie came out.

That last sentence is a lie, but it was truly the only dream I ever had that made me phycically ill when I woke up.

Or, who knows, maybe my churning stomach stimulated the bizarre dream.

3

I was in a backpacking/mountaineering store and was warned that there were robot porcupines about, and that if you were not careful they would eat the laces off your hiking boots while you were wearing them.

Well, I had to see this so I stood still for a few minutes, waiting. No robot porcupines, but a small robot sparrow landed on my wrist. I felt badly that I had no robot birdseed to give it.

4

I once had a dream that my small town was being invaded by enormous, aggresive, and rather viscious “shadow” animals. Animals of every kind turned nasty, but were only pitch-black silhouettes. I remember heading to my roommate’s old apartment, and being horrified and amazed by a terrifying sight: a herd of GIANT shadow elephants charging over the low hills on the not-so-distant horizon. I ducked into her apartment and we turned on the radio to hear an announcer warning everyone to please stay inside, the animals were on the loose and they were angry. Her apartment was in the basement, and I remember seeing the legs of a shadow wolf walk by in the backyard. Then in the front. And then, suddenly, I was angry, angrier than I’ve ever been in my life. I was angry at these animals, trying to terrorise everybody. So I got up, and I marched out her door, up the stairs, and threw open the front door. I stood face to face with a HUGE shadow wolf, who was snarling and looking ready to attack. But I was angry, so angry.

I was so full of anger, I inhaled and I grew larger and larger, tall, taller than the apartment building, taller! I threw my shoulders back and I ROARED at that wolf. And ALL the shadow animals dispersed, running away, back over the low hills, and never made a sound again.

In my dreams or otherwise.
Last night I dreamt that my husband knocked over a bowl of dehydrated olives into my lap, and I cried and cried and said he didn’t understand me at all, and he cried and cried, too, and then I felt bad, because I didn’t want him to cry. And my tears made the olives expand and become edible. So I ate them while sobbing.

I woke up hungry for olives and hoping my husband was okay. He understands me better than anyone in the whole world. Always has, and far as I can tell, always will.

5

i get a reoccurring dream where i am being chased and i run into my backyard, jump the fence, run across the next house’s backyard, jump the fence, run across the backyard, jump the fence… and it keeps going like that till i wake up… :dubious:

6

I woke up the other night from a bizarre dream that Barack Obama got fat. :eek: :confused:

7

I was having to evacuate the house because of a flood or something similar to one. I ran to the refrigerator, and grabbed the bag of chocolate chips from the door shelf. I then woke up, and decided I needed a handful of chocolate chips. This was surreal in that I included something that really existed, where it physically was located.

8

I had a dream that my hair and teeth fell out. Like I’d been nuked or something.

9

(in my dream)Every morning on the way to work, I would drive past a man, standing by the side of the road - apparently waiting to be picked up. I never saw his face - as I was driving toward him, he would always be looking in the direction I was driving and after passing him, when I looked in the rear view mirror, he would apparently be looking in the direction from which I had come - and again, all I could see was the back of his head - balding with a monk-like, scruffy fringe.

One morning, I decided to slow right down and get a good look at him - when I did, he approached the car and bent forward as if to look in the window. His head was a featureless sphere of flesh - bald on top, encircled by wispy filaments of hair.

10

I too had a surreal dream about a talking animal. Just two nights ago I had a dream about having a dog (I don’t currently) who learned to talk. I was having sex with a woman I should not be and the dog decided he wanted to be top dog and so therefore threatened to give away my secret. (It kind of put me in mind of an old Saki story about a talking cat.)

Of course it was totally unreal.

I mean, it has been so long since I had sex that even if it were with a woman I shouldn’t be with, I’m sure I would be bragging to everyone… :slight_smile:

11

I’ve recently had a number of odd dreams about being a suit of armor, worn by various people. Each of them seems to find me gathering dust somewhere when they’re in terrible danger, and I turn into whatever kind of armor they need–I remember being made of full plate, chain, and Kevlar at different points. I can see in every direction, and warn them about attacks from behind somehow. Sometimes, I can even take over and make them dodge things, but I mostly just get worn while they fight monsters or other bad guys. It’s very strange.

I also posted once before about a very surreal set of dreams I had, set in a very large Victorian-style manor house with a high iron fence. The public rooms were pretty, but somehow sterile, as if no one ever lived there. The rooms that visitors never see were more like cells. The only occupants I can remember were an orphan–a catatonic British boy–and the dark man in charge of the place, who never spoke. The boy never left his room, and sometimes the man left for long periods of time, so the place was echoingly empty and usually cold.

The dreams started at a house in London. The boy was there with–I think–his uncle. His uncle takes him places–he thinks the boy’s malady is the result of shock from losing his parents, and hopes that travel will stimulate him. The boy doesn’t respond, and the uncle decides to seek professional aid. He takes him to the manor setting, which turns out to be an asylum. Then the dream moves inside the boy’s mind. In his mind, he’s been in this place ever since “the bad thing” happened. He won’t think about “the bad thing”–it’s not his parents’ deaths, he remembers that. All the time he’s been in his uncle’s care, in his mind, he’s been in the manor, in a little room, chained to a chair with a big padlock. When he dreams, he dreams of being a different child–a younger boy with a mud-smeared face–who’s trying to rescue him. Night after night, the other boy runs through the manor house looking for some way to free him, while hiding from the dark man. Every night, I see him run through an antechamber with a big iron key hanging on a hook, but he never notices it because the dark man is right behind him. Eventually, the dark man in the outer layer of the dream–I suppose he’s a doctor–was called away while the boy slept, and the muddy boy had time to find the key. He unchained the first boy (who immediately disappeared) and then looked at me (until then no one had noticed me watching) and said, “I had to save him. He saved me from the clay.” Then I had a flash of a muddy place with open pits in the ground–I thought of it as “Potters’ Field”; in the bottom of one of the pits was the muddy boy, very cold and still, half-covered covered with clay. In the outer dream, the first boy recovered and went home with his uncle. I still don’t know what the “bad thing” was–maybe the muddy boy’s death?

12

Ordinarily I don’t have a lot of dialog in my dreams, but two nights ago I seemed to have a particularly talky one. At one point in the dream I was talking to a blond woman, of a certain age, and we had the following exchange:

ME: You remind me a lot of Cybill Shepard.

HER: (Blank look on her face)

ME: You know, from the TV show, Cybill – (singing) 'Nice work if you can get it, and you can get it if you try."

HER: (Still looking blankly at me)

ME: She played Martha Stewart in a movie.

HER: I know who Cybill Shepard is. I’m just not sure I like the comparison.

Okay, it’s not exactly Tracey and Hepburn, but how often do we have snappy dialog in a dream?

13

I recently had a very vivid dream that I was talking with my first ex-husband. He was saying he was sorry he didn’t keep in touch with me after we split up.

I started thinking about him, and realized I hadn’t seen him since 1978. I then checked my diary, and realized I had the dream exactly 30 years to the day since I last saw him. :eek:

14

I dreamed I was standing in some yard with my oldest sister, but it seemed like we younger than we are now. A large roll of paper (say 3’ x 3’) fell from the sky and brushed her on the shoulder before it struck the ground. The End.

15

I also have similar dreams when I felt my all teeth were loose and breaking apart and dropping to the ground. Really freaky.

16

Here’s one from last winter that I just had to record. Long-ish, but weird as hell. The people are all various relatives, and Peterson is that guy in the Chicago area who may or may not have (read: did) kill two of his wives.

Here goes…

So here’s my dream from last night…

Michelle, Tom and I were all trying to fall asleep, but Tom and Michelle kept complaining about these little black gnats flying in their faces. I was thinking “I don’t see any gnats - just go to sleep!”, so I put my head under the covers and a gnat flew in my face. So, I brought my head out, and saw the gnats. Then, we’re running around the room trying to figure out where these gnats are coming from, and I hear a whooshing noise from the corner. We flip on the light, and in the corner is…

A huge cream colored bird with brown speckled wings. It was shaped just like a little bird, with a rounded head and long tail feathers, but it was about three feet tall. It starts flying aorund, and we realize we have to get it out of here. Michelle tries to grab it and gets scratched with these huge talons. Tom grabs it around the wings, but drops it when it pecks him. I finally grab it by the head, and it sinks the talons into my forearms. I grab it again, and push it out the window, getting pecked all over my hands in the process…

So now Tom and I go to the hospital, because we’re worried about rabies. We have no idea what kind of animal this was, but we (somehow) have the whole attack on VHS tape. The nurse at the desk is really rude when we ask if we can get a VCR so we can get a picture of the bird for the doctors. I don’t remember the treatment, but we are released from the hospital with instructions to come back later for the results of the rabies test. I have to now go to work, because the Christmas Party is today, and I’m now late. But first…

Michelle now wants me to stop by a White Lion concert at her house. So I run about four or five blocks to her house, and she’s not even there yet. I wander around the hall where the band is setting up, and I think “Hey - that’s Mike Tramp”. But the other people are rude and staring at me, so I leave to go to the Christmas Party at work. I walk to the office…

And find out the Christmas Party is over. I’m talking to Sheila, and all of these weirdos are in the conference room having a “co-party” but all of my work people are gone. I wander around to be polite, and somehow I’m now talking to Drew Peterson’s children. I tell them things like “Your dad is a bad guy” and “Be careful around your dad” which is a problem because…

Drew Peterson overheard and now wants to kill me! This appears to be pre-wife murder, because he is still a cop and is answering a call somewhere else. I know, however, that I have to get out of here, and I’m in serious danger, but no one believes me. So I call…

Timmy, who is a cop and can help me. Drew Peterson comes back to the “party” but cannot get to me since there are other people there. He stands in the entry way and glares at me, until he gets another call and leaves. Timmy had given me a gun that I stuffed in my back waistband of my pants, but now it’s time to get out of here, so I’m thinking “what do I do with the gun?” So I finally walk out and set it on the sidewalk, but I decide not to leave it there since anyone (including Drew Peterson!) can get it and kill me. Timmy and the gun problem kinda fade away, and I’m running up the street to the hospital to get my results on the rabies test…

On the way, I pass all kinds of car accidents, including one where a guy is smashed under the wheel of a car on its side. I look away from this one quickly, and run as fast as I can to the hospital to meet Tom and avoid Drew Peterson. I get there, and we’re waiting for our results at a counter like a diner. I go to the far side for some reason, and when I look back, Hillary Clinton is sitting there, doing some campaigning of some kind. So I decide to go over and talk to her. I don’t remember exactly what was said, but I know she started with some blathering about “healthcare expenses” and I mentioned something about being a capitalist. Overall, I was very polite and a little starstruck, and I ended up with her autograph on some kind of hospital document_…

Thats about all I remember. There was some more about White Lion at Michelle’s house, and Timmy was in it a little more, but mostly that’s the plot above.

17

This might be more science fiction/post apocolypse rather than surreal.

I dreamed I was at work. We had all been told to go to the basements because there was an emergency. The management of the company locked the crowd of programmers, support analysts, IT etc into the basement of this building, and then left. We heard popping noises from outside. I was thinking, “either somebody is setting off fireworks, or those are guns.”

In my dream, the basement was a lot of little offices/rooms rather than cubes. We were all in different rooms. Some of us got out of the rooms by climbing over the partitions through the drop ceiling into the large meeting room. Eventually we found some keys and let everybody out of the rooms.

A largish group of people busted one of the windows and left. I was talking to Cornie (a friend of mine) and I said, “I want to find out what’s going on out there before we try to leave.” So Cornie and I and Eli (an IT guy) and a couple of other people unlocked a computer storage room. In my dream, the computer storage room was full of equipment, radios, etc. We were looking at a display screen on the wall. It was showing all the internet connections to clients and offices all over the country as lighted dots and lines. The dots were going dark one by one and the lines disappearing. Eli was saying, “that’s not good. Those connections are redundant and if we can’t reach those cities, something’s really wrong.” Then the power went out. We turned on a radio and heard an announcement that the city was under martial law, looters would be shot, and anybody out after curfew might be arrested or shot. It was late afternoon.

We split up at that point – Cornie and I decided to wait until morning and then try to get to my townhouse (the nearest to work). We thought Cornie might not be able to get all the way down to her place, which is an hour away. I wanted to go home and see if I could find my husband. He had not come to work that day. The phones weren’t working. We waited in the basement and drank tea.

In the morning we started out. When we got down to the Toll Road bridge, there was a uniformed guy with a automatic rifle. He saw us and asked us where we were going. I said, “we’re trying to get home, we were caught in the office when the trouble started.” He asked who we worked for, and pulled out a big list. Right then, I saw that he was wearing an armband of a religious/political movement that had been gaining power. This group blamed technology for all our troubles and wanted to outlaw it. I figured it would be a really bad idea to say we worked for a software company, so I nudged Cornie not to say anything, and I answered him that “we work for a company that supplies hospitals” (more or less true). He asked the name of it, I said “Travenol”. He waved us on by.

Right then I woke up. Too bad. It was working up to be a good one.
:slight_smile:

18

In my dream, I worked in a military laboratory, testing the effects of explosions on people and property - we had these mannequins that were supposed to hae quite similar material properties to humans - sort of crash test dummies clad in a kind of ballistic gel - so that we could properly appreciate the effects of blast and shrapnel on human bodies.

One day, we were issued with a brand new high-speed movie camera so that we could film the effects of explosions on things with great clarity and detail - we tried it on a few dummies and found that without exception, immediately before the shock front hit them, they would spontaneously become clothed in very expensive-looking evening wear - sharp suits and cocktail dresses, which would then be torn to unrecognisable shreds by the blast.

So a spinoff technology arose - we developed a very fast-closing kind of blast-proof door - but not to be installed in buildings as a safeguard or anything - we used it to stop the blast from reaching the mannequin, but only after the fancy clothes had appeared - and these were then removed and sold - the timing of the process could be tuned - the later the blast was stopped, the better-quality would be the clothes.

19

This is the freakiest dream I ever had. I only remember it BECAUSE it was so damn freaky. I normally don’t remember dreams.

I was sitting in the hospital cafeteria discussing my upcoming operation with the doctors. It was clearly the cafeteria in the hospital I’m most familiar with except in the dream it was really dirty and dimly lit. The doctors were discussing my operation which was that my testicles were to be removed and I was on board with that, for some reason, it was as expected.
However, there was an additional situation. They were going to have to remove the penis too. I was bummed but accepting of the necessity or this procedure.
It was necessary. Had to be done.
So as soon as I agreed to this, the back of the booth in the cafeteria reclines and the operation is performed on the spot. They sit me back up and tell me I can go now. I’m kind of wondering if they even did anything and I reach down and run my hands over my crotch, and am amazed to find that even through my jeans the touch of my hand causes intense sexual excitement. I try to play it cool because I’m in a public place but as soon as I’m alone in the elevator I reach inside my jeans and find that not only did they remove my penis but they replaced it with a vagina (!) which is extremely responsive. Really, really responsive! I’m looking forward to testing this thing out more fully when all of a sudden I realize that when I go camping with my buddies, I will not be able to pee freely behind a bush as I normally do but will have to SQUAT LIKE A GIRL!!! And I will **have to explain to my friends ** why this is so. That thought is so horrifying that I wake up sweating and panicked.

20

I was riding in a car around west LA on a typically smoggy summer day. I stopped at a restaurant but before going inside I noticed a large military-looking airplane cruising around at a low level. It resembled an F-111 bomber, and was matte black with no insignia or other markings on it. The most unusual thing about the plane was the nose, which resembled a duck’s bill, and was constantly opening and closing.

I called people out of the restaurant to see it, and we agreed it was an experimental stealth bomber designed to confuse enemy radar into thinking it was a huge duck, or a flock of ducks.

Each time it passed by overhead it was lower, and finally passed directly over me about 200 feet up, perfectly silent, and then crash-landed in a lot a block away. The crash was a very gentle one, making about as much noise as a a few empty oil drums falling over. It came to a rest canted slightly over on one side, dented a bit.

I went over to see if I could help and found people abandoning the plane and hurrying away. There were about fifty of them, none wearing a military uniform. They were all Asian and gave the impression they did not want to be around when the immigration authorities arrived.