I wonder how much more my poor boss can take.

Poor guy.

He just got off the phone with one of our agents, seems we have chosen one customer to bear the brunt of every mistake we can possibly make in the course of her claim. And it’s not a simple total loss on a 97 Cavalier, oh no. This one has a fatality and our guy is in the hospital with a terminal illness. So the customers are really not in the mood to have to listen to us bean counters ask for “one more thing.” Especially when it looks like we need it because WE dropped the ball. You know how it goes, right? Downhill? Customer is in flames, lights up the agent. The agent is all fired up and reams out a claims boss. But the poor claims boss has to get resolution but quick, so he has to internalize it and comes to good old Inigo to make things right (which I’ve already done–I heard about this one before the agent called and pulled some strings with the DMV & some other associates). Speaking in soft tones he beseaches Inigo to “fix this yesterday.” Poor, poor, guy. He hasn’t taken his eyes off the report while he’s been speaking to me so he didn’t notice me pick up the banana sitting on my desk.

After he’s finished with his request for my services (honestly, I don’t know why he doesn’t just come out and say “Fix This” while handing me the file) he looks up to see me looking back at him holding a banana to my ear. I say, “What? I didn’t quite hear that?” He starts to repeat the whole spiel, bless his heart, and I cut him off mid-sentence and say,
“What? I can’t hear you. There’s a banana in my ear.”
“Knock it off Inigo, will you just…”
“It’s fixed, dude. [insert 45 seconds of industry-specific jargon explaining solution and current status]. Did you want me to call the customer & let them know it’s fixed or do you?”

I’m a pain in the ass.

I hope your boss got a laugh out of that. Sounds like he needed one.

You’ve got a banana. in. your. ear!

Inigo, you’re an evil, evil man. But you fix things, so it’s okay.

You know, Inigo is going to rule the world with his evil henchmen one day.

I, for one, welcome…

ducks and runs from hail of bananas