I would like to see…
An action movie where a man is accused of a crime he didn’t commit, goes on a cross-country chase evading law enforcement to find the real culprits, clears his name, and is then arrested and prosecuted for all the laws he broke while doing so.
Sex scenes where the character’s don’t do it with their underwear on the whole time, apparently put it back on immediately after climax, or lie under an L-shaped blanket that comes up to the woman’s chest but only up to the man’s waist.
A loose cannon, cowboy cop who plays by his own rules and is therefore discharged from the force on his first day.
A movie about the American Revolution that portrays the British as sympathetic characters and the American rebels as ignorant, greedy slave-owning provincials.
A science fiction, fantasy, or action movie that doesn’t have a love story shoehorned into it.
A movie where the main character is abruptly killed by a freak accident two thirds of the way through in a manner that is not foreshadowed and is not relevant to the plot.
A movie where it turns out that science is good and the guy who says “There are some things man wasn’t meant to tamper with” is portrayed as a fanatic who would get everyone killed if they’d listened to him.
Alien females with erogenous zones other than tits and ass.
A movie starring a professional wrestler, athlete, pop singer, or reality TV persona, and which does not suck.
A modern, big-budget action movie without gratuitous CGI.
A constitutional amendment making product placement punishable by flensing.
A movie where you can’t stand right next to lava and feel no effects as long as you don’t touch it.
A sitcom where the main characters don’t work at “the office” or have a job that requires them to do about one hour of actual work a day and yet manages to pay all their bills.
A movie where a white guy takes in with the native tribe, learns their ways, falls in love with the chief’s daughter, and then helps his friends defeat them and take their land anyway and makes the chief’s daughter his slave.
A buddy cop movie where the black cop is straight-laced and professional and his white partner who is sassy, full of attitude, obsessed with sex, and understand’s what’s down in the real world.
A World War II movie where the big breakthrough is made by the British, Russians, Canadians, Australians, Chinese, or Free French, and the Americans are consigned to a support role.
A movie about the Iraq war that doesn’t whitewash anything.
A movie that consists of nothing but an hour and a half of Tom Cruise being beaten up, in brutal and gory detail, with every attempt he makes at defending himself only making it worse, accompanied by harsh and merciless psychological mocking of his sexuality, his failure as a husband and father, and his complete worthlessness and lack of value as a human being, leading to his attempting to commit suicide but instead being forced to live and suffer eternally, a la Prometheus, in constant pain and with full knowledge that everything negative that has ever been said about him is true.
