Hello all!
I wrote a short story that was milling around in my head a few weeks ago. It’s just over 3,000 words.
If you are interested in reading it and offering some constructive criticism, check it out:
http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/zettecity/paradise
Enjoy!
Zette
PS- if it totally sucks, don’t tell me. Let me live my little illusion of semi-greatness.
not my genre, sorry. Tho the purple and black does make reading hard. 
Umm, Zette, I got a bunch of text intermixed with HTML stuff at that link. Any suggestions?
Demo,
That’s weird- I’m using IE, and when I click the link it shows up fine. Anyone else having trouble?
Zette
ok, just opened it in IE and it works fine. Well, except the little picture at the top, but that could be my exceedingly slow connection. Thanks…Damn Netscape.
[Pit]
Damn MicroSoft for not being able to abide by standards…
[/Pit]
Pretty good reading Zette.
I guess that this browser also dropped some stuff as I was able to find precious little that could be interpretted as gratuitous sex. How about repeating that part? 
That was great Zette! Have you ever published?
I loved it!! Got any more? Great suspense, and what a killer ending!
I was actually looking to possibly submit that story somewhere, but I don’t know how or where to do it. That story was inspired by an actual (almost) event- the whole thing was autobiographical- up to where the thing grabs her. I really did see a movie all alone in the new theater, and it creeped me out so much that a story popped out.
I always felt like I “had a novel in me”, now I think I have short stories in me
Thanks for the kind words!
Zette
Bravo!! More please!!
I’d read it if it was in plain text or standard HTML.
Sorry, Zette.
Zette,
When I first began reading it, I thought it was going to be some sappy soap opera type thing, but your plot twist totally shocked me! I never saw it coming. Good work 
I am quite impressed!
The reason it doesn’t show up properly in Netscape is simply because it doesn’t have a .html (or .htm) extension.
If you’re using Netscape, do a Save As… and since that adds the extension by default, it’ll open it properly from your HD. The HTML isn’t at fault; this one’s Netscape’s fault
Zette, you wanna put another copy there called paradise.html just so we can read it more easily?
That was pretty cool. Good idea and all, though I was kind of wishing the person didn’t get out Maybe I should read less horror…
Small nitpicks:
7 is better written ‘seven’ especially when you’ve already used ‘five’.
Not a major deal, but I don’t like having commas before every ‘and’…in fact I don’t think they should be there at all, but I guess that’s more a personal preference.
“There was a great local theater in town- it’s a second run theater, and it’s only $1.50 to get in”
might read better as
“There was a great local theater in town - a second run theater and only $1.50 to get in”
“Last years event…” should be “Last year’s event…”
The sequence in the cinema hit quickly enough, but could have lasted a bit longer. Maybe a little more description of how terrified she really was? Or thinking (perhaps hoping?) that it was a joke at first, then growing more and more terrified as it seemed to become a living NIGHTMARE!!! Hahahhahaha!
Erm…or maybe not.
Hmm…now it seems like I’m being overly critical. I did really like the story and you should ignore my nitpicks if you don’t like them. Well done.
Sorry you guys are having trouble with Nutscrape reading this thing…Angelfire just lists your pages that way- I’ll try to repost it another way today
Zette
I think this link will work for everyone. I forgot to add “html” on the end of my page name. It worked in IE, but not Netscape.
Try this out.
http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/zettecity/paradise.html
Zette