Yes, a real bear
The circus is training bears to ice skate.
Lets hope so.
Good. They had it coming. People need to start respecting wild animals, particularly the large predators.
We can only hope this gives the tricycle-riding, tutu-wearing tiger ideas.
Just wait until the bear is talented enough to become a rival to the lovely Tonya Harding, and I am sure it will be “taken care of”…
But did the bear land his triple Lutz? :dubious:
Bear was shot by the police. “Attempting to escape.”
Hmmm… a giant creature with deadly claws- how can we make it more lethal? Oooh! Let
s add razor sharp blades attached to said claws!
That’s ALWAYS a recipe for success!
No, but it nailed the triple axle.
I don’t mean to mock what is obviously a tragic story. But it seems to me that the reason for the attack is pretty obvious: it was a freaking bear.
What a grizzly story.
I regret to inform you that this particular pun has finalized your damnation. You are, at this point, bound for Hell immediately after death. No passing Go–straight to Hell.
However, this means you may also look at as much porn as you want.
That they shoved into SKATES! Probably made the bear a wee bit grumpy.
Help Wanted! Now Hiring Assistant Animal Handlers for Russian Circus!
Duties include (but not limited to):
Putting ice skates on bears, pulling stray nose hairs on tigers, removing colon blockages on elephants, and giving giant anacondas full-body massages.
Qualify for pay raise, promotion, and health benefits after positive 90 day review.
Must provide own safety equipment.
Either way, “Bear left.”
In Russia, bear handles you.
Just grin and bear it.
Huh, link is dead so I can’t read the story, but I’m fascinated that the bear went for the circus administrator. Normally in situations like these they just lash out and go on a rampage, but this guy went straight for the two people directly responsible.
There’s a ‘Stephen Colbert was right!’ joke in here, but I’m too lazy to make it.
If only the trainer hadn’t told the bear she was fat, this might never have happened. Ice skaters are under so much pressure to be thin!
I have to disagree here. Fatal attacks are uncommon, but I don’t think there’s anything unusual about a bear acting like a bear.
Damn Arctic Ninja Clonetrooper Bears!
Can’t trust one of em.