I mean that where once you had a forgettable bubblegum song, now you have a forgettable bubblegum song by a band whose name is retroactively as offensive as “Dead Kennedys”. Which amuses me.
That’s not the lyric. It’s “My hands are small, I know, but they’re not yours, they are my own.” The song is talking about her efforts to affect change and bring about justice, and hands are a metaphor for how little work a person can do on their own, but though that amount is “small” it’s her fullest effort, and it shouldn’t be derided, you do what you can do, she’ll do what she can do. It might be a little overly earnest, but it’s not as trite as you’ve made it out to be.
My votes:
80s: We Built This City by Starship. Trite lyric, bubblegum sound, destruction of what was once a great band, with space in the song for local commercialization.
90s: Do Me by Bell Biv DeVoe. Disgusting, hypersexualized lyrics with a healthy dose of sexism, suggestions of sexual violence and some hinkiness about underaged girls.
Oh. Yes. I thought I had a winner with The Final Countdown but will now withdraw it in shame.
At my work, my otherwise sensible coworkers have agreed that the radio station should be the one that plays both ‘Tik Tok’ and ‘California Gurls’ [sic] at least once every hour.
These songs actually make me cringe like nails on a chalkboard:
60s: Up, Up, and Away -The 5th Dimension
70s: Afternoon Delight -Starland Vocal Band
80s: We Are The World -Various
90s: MmmBop -Hanson
00s: Your Body is a Wonderland -John Mayer
Music for people with no taste in music.
That has been temporarily immortalized as the human female dance emote in World of Warcraft.
Never trust a big butt and a smile.
Ah, I forgot. You people are Americans.
The worst song of the 1980’s is without a doubt “Brother Louie” by Modern Talking.
The Final Countdown has a couple of things going for it: it’s enjoyably horrible, which a lot of these other songs are not, and it experienced a renaissance after being featured on many episodes of Arrested Development. So at least the song might make you think of the show.
We can’t seriously discuss bad songs of the '90s or early 2000s without mentioning Smash Mouth. All of their singles were execrable in my opinion but All Star was the worst. You really couldn’t avoid that song for a while, and it was thoroughly lame in its generic attempts to be uplifting. Gah.
For the 2000s I think we have to consider Hollaback Girl. As far as I’m concerned this song has the stupidest lyrics ever written, and yes, I’ve heard Horse with No Name. The thread title says ‘bad’ and ‘iconic’ and I think this is both. Five years later, nobody is really sure what the title means. I do know that 35-year-old women shouldn’t do songs where they brag about being the coolest kid in high school. Move on already - you’re a famous musician. Nevermind that you got famous with sort of a feminist persona and pretending to be a cool cheerleader or whatever undercuts that just a little bit.
But if that’s too good - and it does at least have a really good beat to it - let’s look at Natasha Bedingfield for Unwritten. (I wish it had been!) I didn’t know the name of the artist or the song until just now, but it’s the one with this fuck-how-did-you-even-think-this-needed-saying chorus: “Feel the rain on your skin/No one else can feel it for you…”
Other people can’t feel rain for me? Shit, I wish you’d told me before I blew all my money on a staff of rain feelers. Their credentials were very impressive. Turns out I don’t know a fucking thing about the weather. Thank god for Natasha Bedingfield’s expertise in meteorology and the galvanic response. I’ve learned a lot today. I also learned that this song sound exactly like a freaking shampoo commercial, and I think it plays every time I am in the supermarket. That’s normally the mark of a bad song right there. Speaking of which, Taylor Swift does a song about Romeo and Juliet but doesn’t appear to know how the play ends.
After more consideration, I’d like to replace my 1980’s nomination with
Sister Christian by Night Ranger.
It’s terrible and knows it but still takes itself seriously. It also is iconic with its plodding metal-ballad sound that makes it unmistakably 80’s.
The vast majority of the songs listed here are ones I like to hear on occasion. Does that make me a bad person? Even “Seasons in the Sun.”
Some more nominees:
1960s - Tell Laura I Love Her - Ray Patterson
1970s - Feelings -Morris Albert (Really the 70s were the worst. I could easily come up with another 20 songs that will make you go “Ewwww!”)
1980s - Morning Train -Sheena Easton
1990s - Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus
2000s - Bad Day - Daniel Powter
Yes, that’s the first song I came to think of, and when I come to think of this *horribly *piece of crap and can think no longer and I have no other propositions from this or any other decade.
Damn, I think I’m going to get sick.
The “original version” of seasons in the sun (“Le Moribond” by Jaques Brel) is pretty damn good. More bitter and sarcastic.
I’d vote for “I’ve Never Been to Me” for the worst song of the 80s.
For the 70s, probably “Havin’ My Baby” by Mac Davis.
It might help to imagine he’s singing about a bidet instead of a bad day.
You guys are positively blessed if (in my opinion of course) amazing pop songs like Believe, Single Ladies and We Are The World the worst big hits you heard in their respective decades.
For the 2000s I nominate ‘How You Remind Me’ by Nickelback or ‘Welcome To My Life’ by Simple Plan. ‘The Climb’ by Miley Cyrus is also horrific but she gets a pass because ‘See You Again’ was brilliant.
I reviewed the lyrics and you’re right. That’s what she says. However, I still think the lyrics are amateurish, awkward, mawkish, and fairly trite. Added to that, they are sung in her thin, reedy, grating little girl voice and I still think it’s an epically bad song.
For me;
60s Honey Bobby Goldsboro
70s Tie between Mull of Kyntyre Wings & Rivers of Babylon by Boney M
80s Ebony & Ivory Stevie Wonder & Paul McCartney
90s Achy Breaky Heart Billy Ray Cyrus
00s Crazy Frog by Axel F
If you can call it a “song”, Vanilla Ice’s Ice Ice Baby has to be a nominee for the 90s, complete with [del]plagiarism[/del]sampling of Queen’s Under Pressure