I'd like a sandwich with several travesties, please...

…hold the mayo.

While cruising around the Snopes message boards last night, I came upon a link to this site, which purports to reveal several “Easter Eggs” of life, such as this little gem:

First off, what does it matter if the paper touches mayonnaise? Can’t a person just wipe it off and read the note anyway? Or is mayonnaise the holiest of condiments, capable of breaking any pact one forms with a satanic sandwich?

And this pearl of wisdom:

So the Pixiesnix in the mirror dancing around in her jammies to “Love Train” is a malicious entity out to get me? Who knew?

The sections about Mel’s Hole and Black-Eyed Kids are worth a few laughs, too. And if you have a few hours to kill, The Holders section sounds like it would make a pretty good video game.

I think you’ve just been whooshed. Hard.

Damn.

Well, I think I’ve been embarassed enough here.

I consider mayo to be a product of Satan himself, so for all I know, the Father writes out the letter, the Son stuffs the envelope, and the Holy Ghost licks the flap. The contents of the envelope are, of course, the recipe for the cake left out in the rain. (Never thought I’d have that recipe again, oh nooooo.)

And I’m fairly confident the first Black-Eyed Kids account was stolen from another website. I remember reading it awhile ago around Hallowe’en, and it wasn’t there. It freaked me out fairly badly when I read it, but it was late and it was raining and then a branch fell out of the tree next to the house.

ETA: Oops, I read the section more thoroughly and saw that the post was attributed, and taken from Usenet. Complaint withdrawn.

Still, loads of fun. I can’t explain why I love Gospel that involves books that no one has ever read, which detail events that…well, noone would know now, would they–not having read about them.

hee…pure mischief that is.

It sounds like out takes form the novel, Jonathan Strange & Mr.Norrell

From that same page:

“Go into a Subway and tell the clerk you want to order the sandwich they’d always wished a customer would order. They will quickly, quietly, and without expression, craft the sandwich from many different ingredients. The sandwich will be the best thing you’ve ever tasted. This only works once per clerk. If you ask them to make it again, they will not recollect how. If you attempt to re-construct it, it will fail.”

Surely I’m not the only one who read the title of this thread as “I’d like a sandwich with several transvestites, please?”

Wow there are just hours of fun and entertainment on that page there. My fave so far is “a man was shot and the bullet protruded slightly from the back of his skull into a three”. I was wondering how exactly the bullet lodged into a three - perhaps he was standing in front of his house where the street numbers were attached? Not exactly.

Right there with ya. I couldn’t decide if Pixie wanted to dine with em, or on 'em.

My favorite:

So what did the other three people who have opened the book do? Just look at the pictures? And if only one man has ever read it, and has never been seen or heard from since, how do we know what the book contains?

Closed at the request of the whooshee.