This is truly mundane and pointless but I feel the need to share.
I just did the dumbest thing. I made a nice toasted sandwich with roast turkey and a couple slices of smoked provolone cheese. I took a bite, noticed it was a bit chewier than usual and kept eating thinking that the lettuce was a bit wilted.
I ate more than half the sandwich before I noticed I was eating not only the cheese but also the little papers in between each slice. :smack:
Ah well, there’s more than one way to get more fiber in your diet, I suppose.
I use those frozen yeast rolls which you place into a baking dish, cover with plastic wrap, and allow to rise…then you simply remove the wrap and place them in the oven to bake. Guess which step my sister forgot when she was helping me with dinner? On two separate occasions?
The first time I cooked a turkey for Thanksgiving, I did not realize that there was a plastic bag full of turkey bits stuck in the NECK as well as the, er, butt of the bird. Found it when I was decommissioning the carcass after dinner. Oops.
Tales like these always lead me to break out the crazy habits of my (since-reformed) daughter. When she was about 2, she would hold a cookie in one hand, a toy in the other, and invariably, take a bite of the toy.
She’d then shoot me a look of sheer annoyance, as if it were my fault. (OK she might have been annoyed because I was laughing hysterically, but still…)
My food related backwardsness is usually in the form of putting the milk in the cupboard and the coffee in the refrigerator. Luckily I usually have more than 1 cup in a short period of time, so after caffeinating with the first cup, I pick up on my mistake when getting the second.
I really enjoy Challa, a delightful Jewish bread only available this time of year.
In total haste and enthusiasm at my favorite bakery’s first loaf of the season, I did not notice the translucent, muffin-style wrapper on the bottom.
My joy lasted for exactly two mouthfuls. Up until then I was unaware that baking paper, in the correct amount and formulation, will pack into a molar and snap it to the gum.
[Wrath of Khan Kirk Howl] YAHHHHHH-WEHHHHHHH!!! [/WoKKH]
(I got better.)
I just thought of one of the more wretched incidents I’ve had.
I would go to Dunkin Donuts in the morning and get a sausage egg and cheese croissant (a bad habit that I have since given up). One morning, I folded the paper wrapper back, and took a bite of croissant - a very crusty, salty bite. It was just about inedible. I spit it out, and put it back in the bag, figuring someone had screwed up the sandwich somehow.
Next day, same thing happens. Now, before this, I had never had a problem, so I was a little baffled as to how the same thing had happened twice in a row. Bad batch of croissants? I examined the sandwich, and discovered the problem - they had taken up the habit of tossing a salt and pepper packet into the little paper wrapper, apparently for those who wanted to add some. Whose brilliant idea this was I will never know. Why not just toss it into the paper bag?
Both days, I had bitten directly into the salt packet, which explained both the crustiness and the saltiness.
Bwuh? Should be available year-round. Unless I’ve been tragically lied to my entire life (which, granted, wouldn’t be that huge of a shock), it’s traditional to have challa every sabbath (Friday night/Saturday). Check out any local Jewish bakeries - they should have it.
On topic: Y’know those ‘soup-to-go’ cups that Campbell’s now makes? It’s a microwavable cup with a little sippy lid; just microwave and go. I picked some up on sale the other day - I’m always searching for conveniant non-perishable things for the days I’m off-campus at work for lunch.
So I’m in the break room at work. Cup of soup, microwave, easy enough. Take off plastic lid, as per the instructions. Remove metal lid, as per instructions. Put in microwave and heat, as per instructions.
As I hit start, I realized that the cup of soup was in my hand. The metal lid I’d just pulled off was in the microwave. :smack:
Well, it’s not like you went to a little shin-dig at someone’s house after hosting your own, and sampled some of the shrimp, thinking they were peeled like the ones you served nigh on three nights ago . . . :eek:
Tripler
Oh yeah, I was the highlight of the party that night.
When I was in high school, my mom would occasionally put a note in the sandwich she made for my lunch. What with the mustard and the oil seeping from the salami, I ate them about 75% of the time. Occasionally I would find one about half way through, so I’m sure (a) she was putting them in there and (b) I was perfectly capable of eating them without noticing.
She actually put it IN the sandwich? Not just on the side, like on a napkin or something? Clearly your mother was a lady of a very refined humor.
Oh, and I’ve eaten the cardboard underneath a frozen cheesecake before. Just for about two bites and then I realized why the crust had been so hard to cut through, and equally difficult to chew. I guess it doesn’t speak very well for Sam’s Club frozen turtle cheesecake.
I once drank red colored kerosene lamp oil when I was about 7 or so. It was in a small glass on my parents dresser and I thought it was cranberry juice. I took a big swig and swallowed. Of course I realized then that it was NOT cranberry juice. I went and asked my mom what was in that glass on her dresser. At that moment I heard “OMG YOU DIDN’T DRINK THAT DID YOU” I started crying and said that I indeed had. Of course she freaked and many glasses of milk and forced vomiting followed.
It was on their dresser because they were putting up those ugly smoked glass mirror tiles on their bedroom wall and my dad was dipping the glass cutting tool into the kerosene. I guess it helps in the cutting or something.
I can’t remember which wretched restaurant this was in, but I once ordered battered shrimp. They were battered - but whole, I soon discovered.
Now, this may be perfectly normal, I don’t know, but doesn’t it defeat the object of frying something in batter if you then have to peel off the shell, and therefore the batter, before you eat the damn things?
The lady at the frame shop told me that I might have until Tuesday to get her the second of two cross-stitched hummingbirds I’m doing for my mom to have it back by Christmas. (Got the first one in yesterday). So I’ve been stitching morning noon and night. This morning, I’ve got my glass of milk in my left hand and my sharp little embroidery scissors in my right. And I go to take a drink.
Yes, I stabbed the living crap out of my lip. Yes, then I immediately spilled a glass of milk on my needlework. Surely it will come out. I’d better wash it real good and hope it dosen’t run, though, 'cause I don’t want to keep smelling spoiled milk for the next several years from a framed piece on the wall.
It’s quite a small wound - the scissors are very sharp and pointy. You can actually hardly see it. You would not believe the pain.
