by that i mean sadly in america most educations take 4+ years to get but there could get certificates or associate degrees you can also get.
yosemitebabe, honestly, I haven’t been in much of a mood to talk to God lately. I tend to not want to pray when I’m depressed, because I get in these funks where I think God must be toying with me, having a few laughs at my expense. I know it"s wrong, but I’m not real rational when I’m in this frame of mind.
AlHunter3, I honestly don’t think I’m the “fingernails on a chalkboard” personality type. I get along very well with my coworkers, and at one past job, I got along with everyone except one or two people who thought their mission in life was to make everyone else miserable. I have, on occasion, attracted little crowds of worshippers. I’ve also found myself in situations where I didn’t mix well with my coworkers, (or worse, with supervisors)but when my shift would overlap with another shift (very common in casinos) I got on extremely well with the supervisors from the other shift. Unfortunately, I hadn’t been there long enough to be eligible to request a shift change.
I do best as far as fitting in when I’m around a lot of people from urban areas around the Great Lakes (I’ve discovered that major cities around the Great Lakes seem to make for a different breed of cat) or when there’s a wide variety of different ethnic groups.
Most of my class consists of strait-laced white folks. The ones who are a bit strange are strange in socially acceptable ways, meaning New Agers. After all, we are expected to tolerate other people’s beliefs, as long as those beliefs aren’t Christian (and especially not Catholic).
Thea,
I just tried to drop you an e-mail and the deamons sent it back.
Anyway, you have lots of good advice so far. I shall send you send you good vibes. Anything else lemme know.
Osip
Uh oh, I feel one of my speeches brewing up in me again . . .
But I’ll save it for later. Thea Logica, don’t kill yourself, fer chrissakes. Sounds like shit couldn’t get any worse for you right now, which is kinda good in that every day you wake up is better than the day before.
My unsolicited advice: Make a list of all your problems in order of seriousness, and every day do something to take an item off that list.
I just wanted to say something to you Thea Logica.
I’m really not able to give you any advice or anything, but I like you, and I hold you in high esteem.
I first surfed in on the SDMB some time ago, gosh I think it was the latter part of 2001. Anyway, I was impressed with the intelligence of the board (membership) in general, and was somewhat afraid to post. There are plenty of message boards that are idiotic, but I wanted the SDMB to be a “home” for me, as it were. As I was saying, I had a certain amount of doubt that I’d fit in, or that I’d make a bad first impression.
Thats where you come in Thea Logica.
My first post was to one of your threads.
Ever since then, I’ve thought of you as a board sister, or whatever. (What would the word be? Mentor perhaps?)
I hope you feel better soon.
Best Wishes,
Paul
See, this is what happens when you care about things. You end up wanting to kill yourself. If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it a thousand times. Whatever that means.
Thea, I have had chronic depression for forty years. It is treated successfully with medication and brief monthly counselling sessions. I know what it is like to want to stop existing for a while and to be overwhelmed with despair.
Please, please reconsider counselling. I have had some really bad shrinks and the one that I have now is the best I’ve ever known. There are skilled and compassionate counselors out there.
While I was reading your initial description of your life I kept wondering when you were in contact with nature. I can’t imagine what living and working in Vegas must be like. So I was pleased to see your natural instincts to go to the mountains. The Ozarks are a place that you can breathe.
One of the survival skills that I have learned along the way has been helpful to me emotionally. I make a list of all of the concerns that I have. Then I list what I can do about each one. Next, I do what I can do. Then I let it go. There is no point in dwelling on it once I have done what I can do.
I send my warmest regards and I hope that you get back on your feet soon.
I’ll second what Zoe said and add one other thing. The best help I got in my life was from a free clinic. I found it after I called a suicide hotline one night after I’d gotten frustrated because I didn’t have anything lethal in my apartment. The psychotherapist reached me where I was, and even the Paxil they prescribed was free. Your phone book should have numbers for counseling services including suicide hotlines. Please use them, even if you’re not actively suicidal. The local suicide hot line got me through a few rough spots last winter.
CJ
Thea, many here has given you stellar advice.
I suppose it needn’t be repeated (but I’ll repeat it anyway) that depression is the great liar. It tells you that there is no hope, that you are worthless, etc. etc. All lies. Lies, lies, lies.
I won’t bug you too much more to pray or to tap into your religious side. You will do that when you are in the frame of mind to do so. I’ll just remind you that religious faith is something that has had a powerful healing effect on many people. (It’s one of the “perks” of having a religion! ;)) With that said, I also think that God often leads us to seek other help too—like counseling, medical help, etc.
Please listen to the wonderful advice offered to you on this thread. Perhaps it’s just my perspective on this, but I don’t think it is a stretch to suggest that perhaps God has led you to start this thread and therefore He wants you to heed some of the advice given here.
Please take care and remember that depression is the great liar. Don’t listen to it. My prayers are with you, and I mean that.
Something that I think I’ve mentioned here before, and that’s really helpful when you’re depressed, is along the lines of TaxGuy’s suggestion - figure out something you can do each day to make your situation better. Start small, though. Don’t try to do something huge immediately, get frustrated, fail, and beat yourself up more and then don’t try to do anything productive again. Pick out something tiny - like does seeing a heap of clothes on your floor sicken you a little as you leave your bedroom while getting ready for work? Then decide you’re going to do it, do a load or two of laundry completely, including putting it away, and then celebrate doing it. Seriously pat yourself on the back - it might sound silly, but rewarding yourself that way feels good, and encourages you to keep doing little things to put your life in better order. Then after you start getting good at a little thing a day, add another thing. Be good to yourself, cheer yourself on and don’t let the depression whisper in your ear about how lame it is to be happy you sent out a bill payment on time or cleaned out your car or something - you need a cheering section that at least includes yourself.
Figured i would bump this as my problems have gotten somewhat worse (its a mixed blessing in a way) and i enjoy hearing stories of others who are having problems and finding ways to deal with them.