As far as deriving entertainment from flatulence, I know fart jokes figured prominently Aristophanes’ repertoire. So I think we can safely say that fart jokes are at least 2500 years old, and probably a lot older.
Hoo boy… let’s see, when in Rome… do not fart at the dinner table… but to avoid Diverticular Disease don’t retain flatus… yet to keep from blowing up during surgery… hmmm, I sure don’t want to develop dropsy or start convulsing… I had no idea what I was getting into here. Maybe I need to ponder a koan. I wonder if there was ever one written about this very topic? If a bear farts in the woods, but no one is there to smell it… no, that’s no good…
You’re definitely not alone in your preference, panache45. I even try to remember what it was that I ate sometimes, judging by the bouquet: “Ah yes, a vintage 09:35 granola bar. Somewhat bold, but not overpowering, with just a hint of Folger’s Mountain Grown. It is an almost piquant counterpoint to the aromatic melody of flannel sheets mixed with just a touch of fresh evening air”.
I know this sounds stupid, but I am serious.
Is frequent and/or really nasty flatulence a result of genes, diet or a mix of the two?? I know some people who always are farting no matter what they eat, and some who never seem to fart, no matter what type of food they’ve been eating. I am aware that certain types of food will make you fart more than others, but some people, wow…
Okay, I’m guessing one is the whole “caloric content of sperm”, one is the question about that fat chick and the horse, and one is about the jazz musician who was actually a woman. And, for the hell of it, Tycho Brahe’s nose and Isaac Newton’s virginity.
I feel qualified to answer this question, as I fart more than Drew Carey did in the tofu cake episode.
I went to a high school where the food goes fast, so I had to eat fast. Result: I sometimes swallow my food, and I swallow a decent amount of air when I do. No matter how much induced burping I do (and I can burp on command), I always have a fair amount of gas left over.
So I’d add one more to the list: eating style (how much air you swallow).
This site may be useful as well.
That’a pretty good site WIGGUM, except I found what I think to be one glaring innaccuracy:
How could Yoda fart with Frank Oz’s fist in his ass?
My cat has a nasty habit of jumping up into my lap, supposedly to cuddle, then leaving me a “present.” It reeks, and my fiance has more than once accused me of letting that one go.
You all might be interested in the following book:
Dawson, Jim. Who Cut the Cheese: A Cultural History of the Fart. Berkely, CA: Ten Speed Press, 1999.
And who says that dogs like the smell of their own farts? When my dog farts, he tries to run away from his own ass!
I’m wondering whether anyone’s ever written music for the fart, perhaps as part of an ensemble, such as “Serenade for tenor fart and tuba quintet in f# major.”
dang it I submitted too soon, duh. Since Yoda is a Jedi Master, he uses the force to fart. Orifice blockage is nothing to a Jedi Master.
dunno, but if she’s telling the truth, wouldn’t want to be around when the blessed event occurs.
Beware of the dreaded “solid” fart. You know, that’s the one where you start to let 'er rip and you go “oops”, and make tracks for the john. :D:D
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I hate it when that happens. :D:D
Heeheeheeheeheehee
stupid joke:
What is the sharpest object in the world?
A fart. It can cut through your jeans and not even
leave a hole.
Could you hurt yourself if you fart while wearing silk underwear?
I’ve heard that people who work around volatile, flammable gases like propane cannot wear silk underwear, as some sort of spark can be generated from static or some such thing.
How did they figure that one out? I bet it was one of those live and learn experiences.
Once again, Cecil Adamsto the rescue!
“The Fartiste” – that is too great.
So two gay guys get on an airplane and sit on either side of a very large man. As the plane is taxiing to the runway, the large man starts sniffing around.
“Damn,” he says with his nose all scrunched up, “what is that smell?”
The gay guy on the aisle seat titters a bit and says “Oh, that was me. I farted.”
The large man shrugs and leans back in his seat. About half an hour into the flight, he turns to the guy and says “Good lord, I smell it again. Did you just fart?”
The gay guy in the window seat starts snickering and says “Nope. Sorry, that one was me.”
The large man shakes his head and says “Those aren’t farts, let me show you how it’s done.” He sucks in a bit of air, strains for a bit and then lets loose this thunderous noise from below. It echos about the cabin, it pushes the stewardess back against the wall, it makes men lose their hats and women faint for six rows back. When he’s done, the large man smiles in satisfaction.
The one gay guy leans over and, with a hand halfway covering his mouth says “Oh my…a virgin.”
Wow, a thread dedicated exclusively to farts. This must be my lucky day. 
Actually, I can’t believe that I hadn’t found out about it before.
::curses himself for obviating such a magnificent, highly relevant thread::
::to relieve the frustration he lets go a thundering fart out of his obedient ass::
Wow, that was good. That will cheer me up anytime.
Anyhow, I have a feeling I will be posting heavily on this thread. May the farts be with you. I mean, may the force be with you all.
And the farts too.
Fart proudly–Benhamin Franklin. Thanks Connor