I’m in two minds on this one.
Jane has absolutely no business telling this guy he can’t drink at all, particularly if she also drinks. That’s just silly.
Why does this guy have a regular night per week when he gets borderline hammered? Meh, I guess different strokes for different folks and all - just seems really weird as a regular thing.
Really? I sort-of-ringleadered a bunch of guys into getting together Wednesday nights every week. We drink beer and bullshit. Because we all have families, Friday nights or weekends were out. I picked Wednesdays and everyone went along.
We look forward to Wednesday nights.
But do you guys get drunk? I know lots of people who go out for a few beers after work. Sometimes even I go. But no one I know gets drunk regularly, or even close to it, every week, without fail. The cost alone!
Define drunk. 
We do not set out with drunkenness as a goal. Some Wednesdays John had a shit day/week and he ends up needing a ride home. Some Wednesdays Jeff’s MIL has been visiting from out of town and he starts right up on shots with his beers. One Wednesday we all ended up taking a couple six-packs to the marina and took a pontoon boat ride up and down the river. There was a Thursday morning when I woke up so hungover I thought I might have been abducted.
(Cost: Wednesday meetings begin around 4. At 5 happy hour kicks in and drafts are half off. Anytime a new beer is tapped, the manager will ask if we want to test the newest keg. Life is good.)
How about they use their words and talk to each other?
It’s very possible that it’s beer specifically that triggers the bad memories for her - if he switched to a different drink, she could be fine with it. They need to talk.
It’s very possible that, if it were pointed out that she also drinks sometimes, she would be willing to forgo as well in exchange. They need to talk.
Honestly, I don’t see this as being a big deal. She has all sorts of nasty memories connected with the men in her life being drunk - if he cares about her and doesn’t want her to be unhappy, he should avoid being drunk around her. If getting drunk once per week (which seems excessive, IMO) is more important than her, he shouldn’t be in a relationship with her.
Yes. This is weird to me. (Do you not have real adult responsibilities?) And no, I wouldn’t date someone who had this habit. But I certainly wouldn’t date him and then tell him to stop drinking!
Wow, I can’t believe not even one person has answered “yes” as of yet. Y’all are a bunch of drunks man! 
I’m interested too!
My husband and I drink a couple of glasses of wine *every *night, a little more on the weekends. I wouldn’t call myself drunk but I definitely reach “feelin’ fine” on a daily basis. Then I get up every morning at 6:30 and go about my business.
So am I and most of Europe. My wife and I also have either wine or beer with dinner most nights, or we’ll have a cocktail or two when we get home. The best thing about being an adult is making your own decisions.
Jane sounds like she’s controlling, John needs to find a woman who will be out with her friends on Friday night getting her drink on. Jane needs to find someone as uptight as she is.
I got most of that out of my system in my 20s, 30s, and 40s. My kids are adults, my gf is cool with me being me.
One of my taglines when leaving the bar is, “gotta be responsible now”.
Whoops. I was just thinking about beer, since the Wednesday bar thing came up. Yes, we drink wine with dinner (box wine usually, we go through bottles too fast).
But my biggest vice is green and sticky.
Boogers?
They recently decriminalized nose picking here in DC.
Ha! I also drink to, well, not drunkenness, but relative tipsiness on Wednesdays (my favorite bartender, who is also been a good friend for 5 years, and not just because she serves me drinks ;)) and maybe a Friday or Saturday at the local pub. I find that I’m able to get my work done on Thursdays just fine or attend Church on Sundays fully awake ;).
I also think Jane is too controlling here. But maybe they are just too different to continue as SOs.
Now I’m all paranoid. What exactly are real adults responsible for? I remember I promised my gf I’d help her edit a picture to use as her cover photo on Facebook, but I did that Saturday. I bought the giant TP package at Sam’s Club last week. I fed the dogs and exercised them at work.
What am I not doing?
/posting high
Don’t stop and dump Jane.
Or OR, ask if a person (Jane) doesn’t have a power/control problem, should they have a problem quitting for a SO?
I almost answered ‘other’ with this as the reasoning, then thought, ‘but she drinks wine occasionally and wants him to be completely dry. That’s not asking a favor because of her history. That’s just manipulative. Fuck that.’
I think it’s a conversation they need to have.
It might be “being drunk” as opposed to “drinking some” that she’s got issues with. In either case, she can ask whatever she likes - it’s up to John to decide whether the ask is one he’s okay with. I don’t actually have an issue with asking an SO stop short of getting drunk because one doesn’t like to be around drunk people and therefore you like him less when he’s drunk.
Since my name is “John”, I’ll tell you exactly what I’d do: dump the KJ GF and find someone who’s more fun.
I’ll drink to that!
I think calling her controlling is a little harsh. If she grew up with alcoholic parents, it’s understandable that she views any drinking as threatening.