[Voice-over - didactic]
When you’re burned, you’ve got nothing: no cash, no credit, no job history. You’re stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in. You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who’s still talking to you. A trigger-happy ex-girlfriend… An old friend who used to inform on you to the FBI… Family too… if you’re desperate. Bottom line? Until you figure out who burned you… you’re not going anywhere.
EXT. MIAMI SIDEWALK – DAYTIME
Cell-phone rings.
[Michael] Hello, Fi
[Fi] Michael, would you pick up some damn food on the way home? I’m fricken’ dying here you know?!
Closeup of Michael’s pained grin
[Voice-over – condescending, didactic]
When you’ve blown your unemployment check on tight-fitting shirts, sunglasses and yoghurt, you often don’t have anything left to spend on life’s necessities. That’s usually when you have to either bite the bullet and come clean, OR… make up an inventive story.
[Michael] Listen Fi, I was rolled by some russian mob-types, I fought them off but not before they got my bankroll. I’m sorry.
[Fi] …. Um, Mike, you are aware that I can hear you when you’re talking to yourself, right? You’re actually speaking out loud, OK?
[Michael] Listen Fi, I think they might have something to do with my burn notice. If I can track them down they might provide another link in the chain of evidence and then we can both get on with our lives.
[Fi] Oh God, Michael! Not this again. Not again. You were FIRED. You weren’t “burned” whatever the hell that means. You were fired from your job making fries at Chucky Cheese. For just cause too – fries are not made more “stealthy” with yoghurt, Michael. We’ve discussed this.
[Michael] But Fi, if I can just find out who burned ….
[Fi] Gary, the store manager fired you Michael! The only “burns” you got were when you tried to test the temperature of the deep fry vat, with your finger, Michael!
[Michael] I was burned Fi. Gotta go.
INT. GROCERY STORE REFIGERATED GOODS SECTION – DAY
[Voice-over – slow, condescending, didactic]
As I learned from my time in Tehran, when grocery store clerks re-stock the dairy section, they add the goods from the BACK of the fridge. This means that the freshest produce is always at the BACK of the stack which you can reach with a simple extension of your arm.
MICHAEL reaches back into the fridge and fumbles a a few cartons of yoghurt off the shelf, eventually picking one up. Walks to check out counter.
[Voice-over – smarmy, slow, condescending, didactic]
Sometimes, altering someone’s perception of reality is just a matter of simple reinforcement.
[Michael] One yoghurt, a dollar-fifteen, and here’s my fiver! That’s ……… ……… ………three dollars and 85 cents change!
[Clerk] Sir, that’s a dollar bill.
[Michael] Nonsense. Where’s my change?
[Clerk] There’s no change sir, and no sale unless I get a dollar-fifteen from you. Or I call the cops – your choice.
[Voice-over – lively, smarmy, slow, condescending, didactic]
Sometimes, when your cover is blown, the only thing you can do is run.
[Clerk] Wha? Were you talking to me?
MICHAEL grabs the yoghurt and books it out of the store.
