Let’s say you have a friend who lives near-ish but not too near to you - about 30-45 minutes away by whatever transportation method you prefer. You enjoy each other’s company, but for some reason the gods have decreed that one of you must perpetually host the other at their home and the other must perpetually the visitor - no switching off, no meeting at a neutral place.
What role would you rather have? Poll following.
Fifty-fifty. Split the burden. Take turns. I like both entertaining and visiting. There are pluses and minuses.
(Like, my sister has a doggie, and I don’t, so visiting means I can play! But I don’t have to put up with the expense and effort of having a dog of my own. Meanwhile, I love showing off all the art (crap) that I collect, so having guests is fun.
I prefer hosting and almost always do it that way anyway with all of my friends. Sometimes my daughter is here (now she can be left alone but in the past), sometimes we’re drinking and I don’t want to drive, and sometimes I just want to go to sleep without having to either drive home first or sleep on someone’s couch. I do hang out at friends’ houses sometimes too but it wouldn’t be a big change if it had to always be here.
We don’t do things like dinner parties and stuff though, we’re not that sophisticated…so it’s not like I have to go to a lot of effort to “entertain”. Just straighten up the house, which needs to be done anyway.
Assuming my friends won’t start resenting the arrangement, I will do anything not to have to clean the house and entertain (although on the rare occasion I do it, I enjoy it once it’s underway). I will cheerfully travel, bring food, bring the booze, whatever it takes!
oh lord, I hate hosting. I would worship any gods that decreed my friends always had to host and I only had to travel.
Mostly it’s that I hate cooking. Just one meal is not too bad, but having houseguests that stay for days, having to figure out breakfast, lunch and dinner for all these people, shoot me now. This even though I have children that I already have to figure out these meals for anyway (which I also hate, always with the eating, jeez didn’t you just eat like 4 hours ago?)
I’d rather visit.
I can always come up with an excuse for leaving, it’s much harder to gracefully kick someone out of your home. In case you couldn’t tell I’m not a fan of long visits.
I’d much rather host. There are a host (HA) of reasons, but a lot of it is just that I like feeding people. I think I was an Italian grandma in my last life.
This is explicitly prohibited by the OP.
For me, no question, I would prefer to be the visitor. In fact, I would prefer that most people I know not even know where I live (to be more accurate, HOW I live… housekeeping is not my forte). I live in perpetual fear of the “drop in” guest as I would most likely die of embarrassment.
Occasionally though it is nice to have PLANNED company, cuz it gives me a good reason to clean up.
(Fess up, all… I know I’m not the only one!)
Voted for Hosting, which I always enjoyed when I had a house. Much less so now when I’m in a small apartment.
Hosting for me, please. Saves me having to go home at the end of the night.
I’d host, because it would give me a regular reason to tidy up a little, plus I wouldn’t have to be driving home at night. And it would give me an excuse to test out new recipes.
I’d start to get cranky if I was always paying for everything, though. Would this friend sometimes bring a casserole or order the pizza for us? If it’s a once-a-week date, I would start to get annoyed at always having to buy extra food and drink. If we drop it to once a month or less, maybe I’d be less cranky.
Host. I’m much more comfortable in my own home than in someone else’s.
Host for me. I like to feed people and pretty up a room for them.
I hate hosting. My home is my castle, and if I could put a moat around it, I might consider it. I’ll cheerfully travel every time, and bring food and treats.
I don’t have enough furniture to host. I prefer visiting over hosting, but really my favorite option would be to meet for dinner halfway.
Assuming I had enough money to pay for the food and stuff (which I don’t) and assuming I had enough furniture to put people on (which I don’t) and assuming my husband could stand having someone else around for any length of time (which he can’t), hosting for sure. Someone has to walk the dog - we can’t travel ANYWHERE. And I like cooking. Sometimes.
Hosting. I used to do this with two different sets of friends once a week.
I wouldn’t make anything fancy but it was nice to be at home with my friends.
Now that I am in a crappy apartment I can’t do this and it’s driving me wacky.
I don’t feel like cleaning my apartment, plus it’s always more fun to drink someone else’s booze.
It’s funny; maybe ten years ago, I would have said, “Hosting, definitely!” I loved having people over. But at that time, I lived alone, so I was entirely in control of how tidy I kept the house and how much money I chose to spend on entertaining. And I didn’t have a car, so a 30-45 minute trip would have been a bit of a hassle. And I still think of myself as a party-planner type, so that was my initial reaction.
But now, I’ve got a spouse, a kid, and a car. Cleaning the house is a Sisyphean task, my money is the family’s, and spending 30-45 minutes in the car and having nothing to do but sit and relax (and keep the car on the road) is my idea of a vacation. So, yeah. Under ideal circumstances, I’d be happy to have you over, but realistically, it’s much easier if I can just come to you.
I would love to host!