So, every year my oldest friend and her hubby come up to visit for the fourth of July weekend and spend about 3 days at my spacious house.
Because during the course of this year, I decided to get rid of my TV, she says she can’t stand to be without it and she and hub will be staying at the nearest hotel (about 20 mi. away) so that she can have her stupid television.
This is going to totally screw up the usual experience of her staying with me as there will be little chance of after-dinner wine-sharing, late-night girl-talk and general reminiscing because hubby needs to be in bed by 8. Not to mention I will not be able to have the fun of preparing for them one of my sumptuous breakfasts which I enjoy doing immensely. By the time these peeps get up, eat at a local restaurant because they both can’t do a thing in the a.m. until they have eaten, and get to my place, half of the day will be shot.
I told her that when people travel, certain amenities are not always available and she needs to cowgirl up. I am this far away from telling the both of them to forget the whole thing and I will make other arrangements. What would you do?
Re-read your second paragraph. Is it more important to you to spend some time with your friend, or that you get your way?
“So how about I come stay with you this year, then?”
Yeah, it sounds like a self focused point of view, but these are things we both enjoyed in the past.
Between the 4 of you, does anyone have a laptop or a tablet? Those are as good as a tv these days.
Are you sure the tv is the real problem?
I already suggested the laptop thing, but she says she needs the TV because she likes the ads as well as the shows. (This I do not get) If there were some other sort of problem, I am sure she would not hesitate to tell me.
Yeah, I am guessing the TV thing is an excuse. Why does hubby need to be to bed by eight? Maybe it’s something to do with his needs that she would rather not share.
Say what???
Then she needs to suck it up and make some compromises. She can’t possibly expect to get everything her way. Seriously? Missing advertisements is not even a real sacrifice.
You providing the laptop to watch the shows is already more than enough.
What shows will she miss? Most channels show only reruns during holidays like Independence Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. Can’t she just set her VCR or DVR to record anything new?
every house should have a tv for emergency purposes, you never know when you might need some funny to get you through the day.
weather and news can be important. electricity and internet connections do go down. there are 5 or 7 inch LCD tv sets that run off batteries or a power cube and could be had for maybe $50. buy one that runs off a power cube and has a battery compartment or buy an external battery holding enclosure.
I second this. I very rarely watch TV. Nowadays, I only watch one series of shows that lasts for a few weeks a year and maybe some weather.
But I sure as hell value a TV. For one thing, if the TV’s not on in the background, I get depressed for some reason. On the other hand, I need one for the reasons you state.
So, things are not going to be exactly the way you want it, so you want you call it off? Granted, it sounds stupid to forego good times and sumptuous breakfasts in favor of a TV, but de gustibus, I guess.
Maybe there are other reasons that make them prefer a hotel. Maybe there’s something personal or embarrassing involved.
Maybe after this experience, they’ll realize what they’re missing and it’ll go back to old times next year.
IMHO, the TV is an excuse and there is/are other reason/s why they don’t want to stay at your home, and are too polite or embarrassed to mention them.
Did she watch a lot of TV during her previous visits? If not, there’s another reason they want to stay at the hotel. It could be anything. People change.
Moved to IMHO.
Totally.
It might be, but I would do the same thing if I were visiting someone who had no TV.
Accept that the weekend is not going to be what it was in previous years and get as much enjoyment out of seeing your friends as you can in the limited amount of time you have with them.
I have zero comprehension of how someone could choose spending time with a television over hanging out with a good friend that they have travelled to visit, but for some reason that is the choice your friend made. Weird. Or it’s just an excuse for something else that she doesn’t want to tell you about. Either way, try to make the best of it.
Rent a tv
But i agree there’s more to this than meets the eye. She can’t be without tv for three days? She can record whatever programs at home that she would have watched. Something else is up. Let us know when you find out what it is.
I take it at face value; there’s no reason to suppose it isn’t true. I do wonder, however, if this is of a piece with how the OP organized past visits, and perhaps they are not entirely ruing the absence of staying up late at night, being good guests and chit-chatting when they’d rather be winding down for the day; awakening early for a big breakfast even though they might prefer just a cup of coffee and croissant.
OP: Do you allow your guests any breaks from your program of activities while they visit? Very few of us could endure having seventy-two consecutive hours planned for us by others. Is this a summer vacation or boot camp?
You are, no doubt, inspired by a keen sense of hospitality. But keep in mind, free time is one of the most desirable luxuries of all. This is especially true when one is on vacation: one doesn’t leave the demands of bosses and the workplace just to replace them with the demands, however well-intentioned, of one’s friends.