I woulda stopped being such a self-conscious shit-for-brains, loosened up and enjoyed life more.
I’d be very rich. Let’s see. That was 1980. Microsoft in 1986, Proctor&Gamble in 1990 ($3 in 1990, $90 in 2000), Cisco, Yahoo!, Land in certain places, selling out at just the right time…
Oh, and I’d be an extremely different person, as I’d have another 22 years to build on what I know now, in far better physical shape.
I’d’ve dumped my ex right after losing my virginity to him. I also would’ve majored in nursing instead of English.
I’d have finished college, saved my money instead of spending it on foolish and ephemeral things, started a wise investment program, and waited until after I’d graduated to get married (although I’d want to marry the same guy). I’d be more self-confident, more willing to try difficult things, and less worried about what others thought of me.
Ah, who am I kidding? If I’d known then what I know now, I’d just have made different mistakes. Given the choice, I believe I’d stick with the hand I’m holding.
I would’ve majored in food service instead of accounting.
That way I’d not only have a home skill I could use daily instead of just once a year, I’d have a much better chance of getting hired by a restaurant (fast food, informal, semiformal, no difference). I’d be making a decent living providing a service that all kinds of customers use, with plenty of room for advancement.
Trust me, that would be a helluva lot better than my current reality.
I wouldn’t have gotten engaged at eighteen. In fact, I would have broken up with him when he proposed. It would have saved the pain of breaking it off later.
I would have worked harder in high school. Also eaten more fries when my metabolism could still handle it.
I wouldn’t have got drunk that one night…
I’d have dumped the bitch. And studied journalism.
I would have performed significantly less well in college, so it’d last 6-7 years instead. I would not have gone to grad school. I would have gotten a real job instead of a fun one, so I’d be motivated to actually have a career.