If I knew at age 18 what I know now, I'd...

have put forth at least a minimal effort while I was in college.


be rich, and living on some tropical island.

Know how to pay attention to my friends.

I’d have gotten laid a lot more. :smiley:

I wouldn’t have worried about my relationships with guys as much, would have been less anxious and more self-confident about all that relationship/ sex stuff.
I would have studied German much harder as an undergrad.
I would have cheered up about life faster and been more happy-go-lucky and not tried to prolong my tortured, bitter, punk-rock adolescence.
I would know myself well enough to know not to take calculus. . .

I would have bought Microsoft stock instead of beer with my disposable income.

Ah, who am I kidding – I probably still would have bought the beer.

I would have bought a house in Calgary. And finished University. And not bothered worrying about dating and stuff. Who was it that said “If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself”? I would do that, too.

…not done much differently. I agree with the buying a house in Calgary bit though.

“I would know myself well enough to know not to take calculus. . .”

You too capybara?

…I would be raking it in through sports betting.

Not have gone to uni just because it was expected.

{Calgary real estate hijack}
Isn’t it just sad here, Mork? If I had known when I moved here 13 years ago that the housing market would take off like a freakin’ rocket ship and just keep on going, I would have done anything in my power to have bought a house then. As it is now, we are dangerously close to not being able to afford to buy here now. Saskatchewan, here we come!
{/Calgary hijack}

I would know exactly as much as I know now.

I would have gotten an A on that Calculus test I took last semester instead of a B.

I’d have worked harder, and spent more time being single. And I’d have applied to change degree course as soon as possible.

I would have been prepared to instantly change majors when I heard “embrochure change” come out of my professor’s mouth instead of toughing it out for three semesters.

I would have gone ahead and traded in that '90 Cavalier instead of dumping more money into that sinking ship.

I would have played the stock market like a violin (can you be charged with insider trading if you’re using information you’ve sent back in time to yourself?).

I would have gotten jiggy with it.

Taking notes as I’m now 18…

I would’ve shot my ex-wife on sight. Just think, I’d be out by now if I had and the world would have been a better place.

I would have paid a lot more attention to my non degree classes: things like Art History that would add so much to my enjoyment of life now if only I hadn’t gotten into the “when will I use this” trap.

I wouldn’t have worried so much about who I was dating/trying to date and would have spent more time pursuing my own interests.

I would never have started smoking!

I also would not have started smoking.

If I knew at 18 that I was evetually going to be diagnosed with ADD at 30, I’d have gotten treatment sooner and likely done a lot better in school, although even 18 is late for intervention.

I’d have passed on dating about 7/8 of the guys I went out with. What the hell was I thinking??