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Never believe a man actually wants to be childfree unless he presents ironclad proof that he has been sterilized.
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Logic and common sense rarely change anyone’s opinion.
Teenage me wouldn’t have listened. Doesn’t matter how convincing the evidence was, teenage me would have just hand-waved it away.
- Take a damn shower. Doesn’t have to be every single day (because that dries the hell out of your skin), but it has to be more than once a week.
1a. Get a haircut that actually works with your hair. You do not have smooth, straight hair, and (barring a major straightening treatment that will be both noxious and expensive) you never will.
- GET A JOB. People don’t like to hire 20-somethings with no job experience.
2a. Get your driver’s license. Driving sucks, I know. Get over it.
DO NOT START SMOKING!!
You are capable of working much harder in school. Do it!
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Get out of your shell more. Try things. Meet new people. Don’t be afraid of looking like a fool.
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Build healthy eating and exercise habits now, and integrate them into your life. You can eat all the fast food crap you like now and not gain weight, but that won’t be true once you get out of college and stop biking/walking everywhere.
Oh, and yeah–buy Apple stock early and often! 
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Don’t eat because you are lonely. Find a way to spend those summers doing something healthy instead of putting on the weight.
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Work harder at writing in high school, you will be more prepared for trying for a career teaching history. You think you don’t want that in college because you aren’t ready, but with a little more work you could have a good career.
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Don’t be afraid to get in trouble. In fact, look for more trouble.
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Don’t let yourself become a smoker.
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You should have more confidence in yourself where girls are concerned. Where the hell did you ever get the idea that none of the attractive fun ones would be interested in you? Most of them won’t, but there will be a few along the way who do. Start asking girls out.
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As important as friends are right now, the bonds with your parents and sister are the ones that will stay the strongest over the course of your life. Please consider moving back to be near them during your early adulthood, before you get tied down with obligations that will prevent you doing so later. You will eventually regret living so far away from them.
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Recognize and be honest with yourself (introspection, more so than anything).
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Take the initiative (don’t be afraid of failure and/or risks, within reason).
Enjoy your hair while you have it. It’ll be gone before you graduate high school.
That’s all I’d really need, I think. Can’t think of a second one.
On a related note, enjoy your healthy, strong body while you’re young and strong and healthy. Middle age is a series of small, chronic aches and pains, interspersed with large chronic aches and pains. Enjoy being able to do anything you want, any time you want, and just go DO IT!
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Put the credit cards away.
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Hit the weights a little.
If I can indulge a 3rd:
3. For the love of God, don’t date her.
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When you save your money and buy stuff with cash, you can end up saving a lot more money and buying a lot more stuff with cash. DO NOT, under ANY circumstances use a credit card to buy ANYTHING! EVER!!!
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Every authority figure in your life is lying to you about sex. It is not evil. It will not ruin your life. If you do it responsibly you will not create a baby or contract some horrible terminal disease every single time you have sex. Go ahead and sleep with your girlfriend. Really, it’ll be fine.
- Drinking and smoking make you cool when you’re in your late teens. Decades later, you WILL rue the day you ever started. Guaranteed. You idiot.
- If you have an opportunity to move away from your horrible family, do so, because you will note that your relatives who moved out of state 1000 miles away and come home once a year have made FAR better, happier lives than you. You idiot.
- You don’t have to go out with just anyone, just because they ask you, and if you don’t want to go out with them again, you can say, “I don’t want to go out with you again.” You idiot.
Oh, so many, and I have to limit it to two.
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You’re about to graduate from high school. You are in the best physical shape of your life. Keep exercising and don’t let yourself go.
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Start saving NOW!!! Savings account, bonds, whatever. Start now. And buy stock in a company called Microsoft as soon as you can.
And a third - if you ever meet a woman whose initials are BIF, run like hell.
When you feel like eating, go for a walk instead.
I can’t really think of a second. Guess my life is okay except for a little flab.
You are able to take care of yourself.
Get a job, make money, save some, and have fun with the rest.
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On the whole, in your life, your faith will make you stronger and happier. But if you hit a stretch where you’re depressed and neurotic, probably the first thing you should do is take a vacation from your faith. Leave it behind for a few months or a year, have some good times, find out who you are, then come back when you’re in a better frame of mind.
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You really are a kinky bastard. You’re not going to pray away the kinks, because they’re part of who you are; they’ve all been there since well before puberty, if you think back. Accept that you’re the way you are, and trust that God accepts you. With any luck, eventually you’ll find someone with complementary kinks.
- Get of this house as soon as you can.
- Quit letting people make your decisions for you.
I would tell my younger self that the reason people don’t end up finishing college after they quit and plan to go back is NOT because they lack the drive to get a degree or because they’re lazy; it’s because 99% of college’s are not set up to accommodate people who need to work 5 days a week to pay the bills, or that have kids. Traditional four year college is for people who literally have nothing else to do but study and go to class, maybe fit a part time job in there somewhere. I was so naive, now I’m finding it harder and harder to go back the older I get :smack: