Choke on it? Not fun until the cat had learned to use a tin-opener, surely? In which case, the cat could probably also wield a mean razor…
Must…resist…urge…evil…thoughts…
SHAVED PUSSIES! SHAVED PUSSIES!
Damn. That was too easy. 
God, i’ve been waiting for someone to say that (see last line of original post)
Ahhh, and the inevitable comes to pass… the circle is complete…
Upham
Take the shaving cream infused fur and wrap it tightly in cheese cloth. Then put in the washing machine on the gentle
cycle. Works like a charm.
I’ll tell ya true, mate - I’ve been a cat-shearer these past 30 years, woman and girl, and their ain’t no money in it! Ya try to make a nice sweater - the damn thing will stay out all night and not tell ya where it’s been. Ya make a nice set of furry lined gloves - and right away yer kneadin’ total strangers and tryin’ to sit in their laps.
And the yowlin’ that goes on! Well, yes, it was me doin’ the yowlin’, but that’s another story. No, mate, what you want is a nice parrot - the Norwegian Blue, for example - beautiful plumage!
So, what you mean, Bruce/Sheila (can’t tell the difference mate) is:
I’d rather shave a parrot than a cat
yes I would
I surely should
da da da da dum…
Actually, best to stick to torturing little mousies: sell them later to Microsoft, and who cares then?
Methinks it may not be not long now until llamas are brought into the grand plan. And then who knows, or miaoouws?
Save it in a bag and produce it when people want to know how much of a sick puke you really are :mad:
Sorry, I’m a cat lover
Why be sorry? I too. How far does this have to go, I wonder. I thought that the mere mention of ability to shave a cat would be sufficient reason to view this O.P as a silly bit of complete nonsense, intended as fun of a sort.
There are some nasty things said on the boards, and some silly things: one reacts to them differently.
Worse things have happened to cats, worse things have happened to humans, and it is possible that even worse things have happened to hamsters and gerbils. (But not to any cats, dogs, mice, gerbils, hamsters in my care.)
With regard strictly to this particular post, I think even my cat will laugh (and she will, given some more of the food that is more expensive that that which I buy for myself sometimes). I do realise that it might be considered somewhat lacking in taste, but sometimes silly jokes are. Really, am I alone in thinking that this particular post is not worth getting too worried about?
I have to go now, because the bossy cat says “mmuurfff”.
My groomer once shaved a persian cat that was so matted the fur came off in one piece. It looks like a pelt, without the leather backing. Very solid. They keep it by the register to show people who can’t figure out how to brush their animal ALL the way to the skin.
That’s big time cat abuse from lazyness.
I think my cat knows i posted this, the past couple nights i’ve woken up and it’s been staring at me the way it usually looks at those catnip mice…
Can cats handle heavy weapons? Knives, mallet, that kind of thing?
Upham
Nah - even if he has that extra thumb, the most he can hold is a pencil.
And don’t fall for the “cat looks past you into darkened room with an expression on his face of what the hell is that?!” They love to pull this one.