[ul]
[li]Have racists painted purple so they can understand how prejudice feels[/li][li]institute the death penalty for not using your signal when making a lane change[/li][li]pay school teachers like pro athletes,[/li][li]make all sports amateur only to get rid of millioanire hotdoggers and get back a love of games for themselves[/li][li]take money from business subsidies and give the dough to libraries to buy books and pay staff better[/li][li]make all TVs treadmill-powered so fat lazy slobs would have to work to watch their shows[/li][li]not allow anyone who does not play a sport to watch sports unless excused by medical certificate.[/li][li]anyone who criticizes the players in an obnoxious fashion at a sports event kick a field goal, sink a basket from mid-court, or hit a homerun. Failure to do this successfully will receive the death penalty[/li][li]legalize drugs, but make them really unfashionable[/li][li]require all creationists, New Age crystal worshippers, and astrology fans read one science or math book a week and submit a 10-page book report.[/li][/ul]
Anyone else?
Anybody who shoots somebody else gets their trigger finger chopped off.
Any man who rapes a woman gets castrated.
Any pedophile who abuses a child gets thrown in a wood chipper.
Anyone who tries to make their name more interesting by having it pronounced differently from the way it is spelled (eg. Sade) is automatically renamed Moe.
Anti-tax day will follow tax-day when any concerned citizen can audit any IRS employee.
Tax deductions are given based upon the amount of oral sex one gives.
I would just like to point out that the OP with his dictates #3 and #4 just put teachers salaries back in the toilet.
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Throw out all of this term limit crap and set a 3 year COMMITEE limit. Its the commitee that gives these guys power, not thier tenure.
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Require everyone geting a drivers license to take a DUI field test right then. If you can’t touch your nose or walk a straight line sober, I don’t want you driving.
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If you sue someone and LOSE, they get the right to just punch you in the nose with no penalty.
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Any time a lawsuit is just dismissed the judge gets to slap the person brining the suit to trial in the back of the head.
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Anyone killed doing something stupid (as determined by a vote of peers) would have thier grave marked with the words “Evolution in Action”
CandyMan
You would have the legal right to swap cars if you wished with anyone driving slowly in the wrong lane, failing to signal, cutting you up, or shooting out in front of you then pootling along at 5 miles an hour…
I would just get blow jobs all day from any female on my staff. And fire all males on my staff and immediately replace them with women.
I am so busy trying to become Dictator of Canada I don’t know where I would find the time…
But then again, if I was Supreme Dictator of the United States my takeover of Canada would be so much easier…
Lemme see…
Implement universal health care. Healthy subjects are happy subjects.
Can you imagine the terror when I took away all the guns, how would anyone be safe? One can’t have an armed population if you want to remain dictator right?
I would turn Alaska into a penal colony, a freezing scumbag can’t do much harm.
No death penalty.
Criminals would become the property of their victims until their debt was repaid. Commit a crime and you’re my servant for life might be a deterrent. It would be either that or Alaska.
Rapists and child molesters would go straight to the Alaskan gulag butt naked and be forced to do outdoor work.
Did I mention the four day work week? With all those criminals forced into slavery we would have more free time for important things.
I would hire some Dopers as my personal advisors to help decide policy.
I can be a benevolent dictator can’t I?
If I were absolute dictator of MPSIMS (oh, wait, I am), I’d move this topic to IMHO where it belongs.