(I just came in to read, I wasn’t intending to write one myself, but after about the 6th page it comes over you…)
Froda trembled under the flat uncompromising stare of the Ranger, her plump hobbit cheeks red with embarrassment as the tall wiry woman continued. “Have you no common sense, then, that it would not occur to you that in a place like this ‘inn’…” – she encompassed the Prancing Pony with a contemptuous gesture – “…they assume that an unaccompanied cherubic female with no catenas upon her arm is here to offer herself to the Nazgul? If I hadn’t whisked you out of there, you could be lying across a saddle as property of one such.”
Froda’s lip pulled back in revulsion, “I’d rather mate with a banshee.” She continued, “I did not know what else to do. I was told by Gwyndælf the Grey to meet her here, and yet I do not know where she is. And as the proverb goes, When horses are scarce and one must ride, one may find that one saddles a pig”
“I see”, replied the flat-chested emmasca warrior in a more gentle tone. “You are accustomed to a safe life in your protected little hobbit shire. Gwyndælf is of course known to me as a wise and powerful sorceress; but perhaps she forgets that maidens in our land are not taught to rely upon themselves and take action if action is taken against them.”
“I’m not exactly a maiden”, demurred the plump little Froda. “True, I’d rather be cavorting at a wild Shire party beneath the four moons than carrying a knife, but…”
“…but you believe yourself no mere damsel. This is good. Aldones grant it so. But if you are already to be considered a shame and a scandal to womanhood, you are best off claiming it in a way that will be of help to you. Gwyndælf should have given you more than a safe-conduct and a fare-thee-well. You should have been fostered to a Free Amazon if you are to act as one, and Gwyndælf has not the time to babysit you, it would appear.”
“Free Amazon? I’ve heard of them…but I thought them an unnatural clan of women who hate men. I’ve rather a fondness for them myself, actually.”
“No, although there are amongst us many women who have no love for men, and considering what many of them have experienced at the hands of men I fault them not for that. However, while it is true that the Oath includes an obligation to give yoruself to no man except in your own time and season of your own free will an desire, and not to earn your bread as an object of some man’s lust, there are many in the guild who have freemates, and there are those who see the pleasures of men’s company at midsummer’s just as do the young village men.”
“Well then, if it will provide me with the training and skills to survive out here in these dark roads and lawless shelters, perhaps I should seek such fostering. But how would I go about it?”
“You must go to the guild-house. There is one at Rivendell.”
“Rivendell! I have had…well, almost dreams about Rivendell, you might say. I do get these hunches sometimes, you see…”
“Hunches? Hmm, let me take a closer look at your hair. Yes, I do see some red in it, which brings to it a striking appearance with that blue clasp that I see you wearing. It will almost be a shame to cut it off. Ah well…”
Froda fingered the clasp with the odd blue stone in it. “Yes, this was given me by my grandmother. Sometimes when I look into it, I can feel inside of things, almost as if the very rock of a paving stone or the iron of a buckle were made of grains of sand, and sometimes I feel as if I could move them if I concentrated on them.”
“Well, perhaps instead of going immediately to Rivendell, you should go visit the outlaw mistress of the forbidden tower, Tomasina Bombadil. We need to have you checked for laran.”
I promise, no more from the dim-witted college student.