To be fair to the dead guy, the sign did say there were no alligators swimming. OTOH, I doubt he’d have paid attention even if it dad have a comma.
Or perhaps a colon. And an exclamation point. And the word “Duh”.
You are correct. A comma would only tell the alligators not to swim. :smack:
But had the alligators read and abided by the warning, the effect would have been the same. The water would have been alligator-free. 
I prefer…
NO! SWIMMING ALLIGATORS!
His last words were apparently “Fuck that alligator!”
Apparently the gator was hungrier than it was horny.
Well, maybe it could have said 'No, Swimming Alligators"
Just in case anybody wondered whether they were swimming, or dancing, or bungee cording…
although, if they’re dancing, it’s really the leaping hippos in tutus you gotta watch out for.
From the article:
Reminds me of the Saturday Night Live sketch where Farley, Sandler & Co jump one by one into the bear pit at the zoo. “Bet you I can swim twice around the moat! AAUUUGGHHH!!!”
This is why Texas needs to outlaw bestiality.
“… jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help…”
Good luck with that.
I suppose there are some occupational hazards with being from the Show me state.
“I immediately regret this decision!”
ninja’ed…
I guess there aren’t many sheep in that part of Texas.
Well, none that think they can swim…
How about “Alligators! NO SWIMMING!”.
Even better: “If you enter this water you will be attacked by alligators within seconds!”
Or: “Volunteers Needed for Alligator Food.”
Yeah, so I’m in the Show-Me state, and it isn’t Texas. It is, however, the state with the most starting All-Star players (and would have been even without the Cardinal’s contingent).
Didn’t we just have this thread somewhere?
Although the incident happened in Texas, the guy who made an entry in the Darwin Awards was from St. Louis.
As far as last words go, “Fuck That Alligator!” is fairly descriptive. You don’t need a lot more information to figure out what happened.
The hamsters ate it.
I guess you missed the part in the article about the dead guy recently moving to TX from St. Louis.
I’m a former Show-me too, and MO rednecks aren’t that different from TX rednecks. Their accent is better; their common sense isn’t.
I did indeed. I always thought that the St. Louis styled themselves as more Eastern sophisticates then the rubes in the rest of the state, but I guess not all them.
In passing, one of my sons actually uttered the phrase “Here, hold my beer” (what are the last four words a redneck says?) just before doing something stupid with fireworks (no damage to body or property, as it turned out).
don’t really think of the family as redneck, but the boy is trying to prove me wrong