Suspected Burglar Killed By Alligator

[Johnny_L.A]

Suspected Burglar Killed By Alligator While Hiding From Police In A Pond

For some reason, this reminded me of a joke from Adam-12. Officer Reed relates this story:

@Officer Jim Reed

This guy goes into a bar one night. He’s this little neat man with glasses. He’s got this funny looking squatty dog on a leash. And he walks up and orders a beer. Just a few feet away from him is another fellow, a big man. He’s got a great big ferrous dog with him; I mean like the biggest dog you ever saw. I mean like a Great Dane, with teeth about this long, I should of told you. The little funny looking dog was yellow. Well the big guy he looks over at the little guy then looks down at the yellow dog and he barks out laughing. And he says, ‘That’s the funniest looking dog I’ve ever seen!’ And the little guy just nods and says, ‘I agree with you. He’s not much for looks, but he sure can fight.’ And the big guy says, ‘Uh uh, my dog’s the fighter. There ain’t a dog in the world that can whip him.’ Anyway they went like this for a few minutes. Pretty soon the big guy says, ‘OK put your money where your mouth is, sport. I’m gonna bet you five hundred dollars my dog can beat yours.’ So the big guy and the little guy they made the bet. And they took the dogs out into the alley. Now the big guy he sics the Great Dane on the little yellow dog. For about ten seconds all you could see is brown fur flying. And pretty soon the Great Dane, he takes off with his tail between his legs just whipped. The big guy stood there and shook his head and said, 'I didn’t think there was any dog that could whip mine, let alone a little runny thing like that. 'And the little guy said, ‘Maybe I should of mentioned it. Before I cut off his tail and painted him yellow he was an alligator.’

[ivylass]

And they killed the gator.

[Boyo_Jim]

Oh, man I wanted to be the first to post this – hid from the police, but forgot to hide from the alligator.

[74westy]

The great dane was made of iron?

[running_coach]

That’s one burglar who won’t be coming down the chimney.

[Count_Blucher]

@ivylass

And they killed the gator.

How did they know it was the right gator? Was it wearing a brand new pair of Convict Shoes? :eek:

[CannyDan]

@Count_Blucher

How did they know it was the right gator? Was it wearing a brand new pair of Convict Shoes? :eek:

From the OP’s link:

“Some of Riggins’ remains were found inside the animal’s stomach.”

[Chefguy]

Hiding in a pond in Florida has to make him a prime candidate for a Darwin Award.

[Johnny_L.A]

Oh – I was a kid when I saw the Adam-12 episode, but ISTR thinking the joke wasn’t very funny. I also STR that Pete Malloy thought it was stupid.

[Encinitas]

The gator was just standing his ground!

[ivylass]

@CannyDan

From the OP’s link:

“Some of Riggins’ remains were found inside the animal’s stomach.”

I know WHY they have to kill the gator, but I regret the necessity. This jerk was robbing people and hiding in the gator’s abode. I’d want to take a piece out of him too.

[Boyo_Jim]

If the gator did a better job, the cops never would have found the guy.

[ivylass]

Yeah, he should have digested faster.

[Kimballkid]

So the gator took a bite outta crime?

[CannyDan]

Alligators are messy and wasteful feeders. Their teeth are all conical – great for holding on, but lousy for cutting/tearing. They often save large prey underwater, allowing it to rot so it is easier to dismember. That’s likely why there was an actual body to be found. Gator snapped off some easy parts, perhaps extremities, and cached the rest for later.

Gators are fascinating creatures and one of my favorites. But frankly we have a surplus. Most of them don’t recognize humans as prey, and are fearful of our presence. That’s a really good thing, because there are at least 1.5 million of them in Florida and if they had the disposition of Nile Crocodiles or Indo Pacific (Australian Salt Water) Crocodiles, all human residents would be in considerable danger. Luckily, gators are mostly big wussies. You have to be really dumb and get really, really close to become a target. As this burglar apparently found out.

[thelurkinghorror]

Great, now I have “Amos Moses” stuck in my head.

Well the Sheriff got wind that Amos
Was in the swamp tracking alligator skin
So he snuck in the swamp, gonna get the boy,
But he never come out again
Well I wonder where the Louisiana Sheriff went to?
Well you can sure get lost in the Louisiana Bayou!

Sorry your last meal was Floridian

[the_diego]

My country’s version of the dog fight story was a scawny old dog vs. a giant german shepherd. it turns out the former was a scrawny, hungry lion.

[Omar_Little]

I find stories like this interesting. Because the dead guy was a suspected burglar, we find it amusing, similar to karma coming back on him. Is it because we think that death is an appropriate punishment for robbing innocent victims? If this story was about resident wading into a pond to retrieve something and being inadvertently attacked and killed by the gator, the tone of the article and reaction by people reading the story would be much different…more empathy.

[Mean_Mr.Mustard]

From The Kingston Trio’s “Everglades”:

Where a man can hide and never be found
And have no fear of the bayin’ hounds
But he better keep movin’ and don’t stand still
If the 'skeeters don’t get him then the 'gaters will

mmm

[cmkeller]

Omar Little:

I find stories like this interesting. Because the dead guy was a suspected burglar, we find it amusing, similar to karma coming back on him. Is it because we think that death is an appropriate punishment for robbing innocent victims? If this story was about resident wading into a pond to retrieve something and being inadvertently attacked and killed by the gator, the tone of the article and reaction by people reading the story would be much different…more empathy.

Well sure, there’ll be more empathy for a person being killed in a place where he has some business being than for a person being killed because he went somewhere he shouldn’t have been. Just because we don’t consider burglary to be a capital crime doesn’t mean that he deserves sympathy when he could have avoided that fate simply by being a decent citizen.