If Real Life Worked Like A Role Playing Game

On Cracked.com. Several of them were funny but this one made me LOL:


Although I didn’t get two of them: The bathroom filled with cobwebs, and the tank column blocked by a large ice cube

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In a rare instance, I agree with #1 being #1.

Ice cube I assume is just him using some magical ice shield to protect him from the tanks. Dunno about the cobwebs unless there’s some trope of just throwing cobwebs into an otherwise clean environment to depict age.

no one goes to the bathroom in role playing games, so it scovered in cobwebs etc

My guess on the cobwebs in the bathroom is they’re showing that no one in an RPG ever needs to take a dump. I don’t think that’s true however, I remember that in on of the Half-Life games you could pick up a couple of health points by using a toilet.

I did especially like “the State holds a +9 in Incarceration”.

Using a toilet can also heal you a bit in Fallout III as I recall; in Vault 101 at least. Elsewhere you get radiation.

Yeah, but you’re not “using” it. you’re drinking from it. just a water source, and food and drink heal, and radiate.

Ah, I guess the fact that it was otherwise pristine (aside from some MS Paint webbing) made that go past me. I thought the joke was in the juxtaposition of the clean/webs and not just the disuse.

In other words, I thought about it too hard.

“Just remember, whenever you attempt anything, you always have a 1 in 20 chance to succeed fantastically or fail horribly.”

In your defense, the picture was so crappy, it was easier to get the joke from your description of it, than by actually looking at the picture.

That was pretty good. Usually those lists are one or two funny ideas and then twenty other entries of filler. But that one was pretty good throughout.

(still not sure I get tank guy being a block of ice though)

Is that a Gelatinous Cube?

I think it’s a reference to the spell Ice Block in World of Warcraft, which immobilizes the caster and prevents him from casting spells, but makes him impervious to oncoming damage. In other words, he was blocking the tanks but making it so they couldn’t hurt him.

I was wondering if that was it as well, but if he had just used the Ice Block graphics from WoW it would’ve been instantly recognizable (well, at least to any WoW player) - now you can’t tell if it is a gelatinous cube or an ice cube or what.

What was with the Starbucks one? I was looking at it on a tiny screen on my phone and totally didn’t get it.

On the menu it has a section for “Potions”, with stuff like “Holy Protection” under it.

The logo also has “Starbucks: Coffee Tea Potions” on it.

“Gelatinous Cube” was my first thought. I think that picture fails because it’s too game-specific; I’ve never played WoW, so had no way to recognize the reference.

I’ve been playing WoW since about 6 months after it came out and I didn’t get the reference until it was explained here. Well, I might have, eventually, but it didn’t jump out at me.

They should have made an Otiluke’s Resiliant Sphere.

Bicycle helmet: $50
Motorcycle helmet: $500
Football helmet: $5,000
Riot police helmet: $50,000