Let’s say a bizarre warp in the time-space continuum opened up and as a result the 2016 Presidential election was held tomorrow. For legal reasons, only candidates who have already announced their candidacy are able to run - no write-ins.
So meet your candidates:
Jeff Boss
Ted Cruz
Mark Everson
Jack Fellure
Zoltan Istvan
Terry Jones
Rand Paul
Vermin Supreme
Robby Wells
Out of that list, who would you vote for?
Zoltan. How is this even a question?
Since I can’t find much about Zoltan’s political platforms (and whether or not he’s a crazy person), the only definitely non-crazy candidate is Mark Everson (who seems like an accomplished and relatively serious person). So I’ll go with Everson.
Everson combines executive branch experience, a platform, and the platform doesn’t scream “No just no but HELLLLLLL NO!” Istvan is the only other one that even passes the intitial worth more searching screen. Everson.
Fellure can have my booze and my porn when… ummm something about prying from fingers but I’ll omit the details.
Vermin’s got my vote!
Terry Jones, even if he was the most forgetable Python.
That’s pretty much my thinking. I don’t agree with much of Everson’s platform but he seems like the only grown-up who’s talking about serious political issues. Which is pretty sad when you consider that puts him ahead of two Senators.
Wait, there’s actually a real person named Zoltan Istvan? And there’s a chance that he hasn’t already gone insane?
He’s a transhumanist, so, no, there isn’t. Vermin Supreme is of sounder mind.
I like Vermin Supreme’s Zombie Apocalypse awareness program. It isn’t quite right on, but we Do need to prepare for the worst.
Well, I for one mistook Zoltan Istvan for Zaphod Beeblebrox.
Not to kill the joke, but both are actually very common Hungarian first names, with Istvan meaning “Steven.” (It is unusual, though, as neither are typically surnames.)
Vermin Supreme I guess. Even if he got nothing done, all the others seem to be actively bad (including Mark Everson and his plan to bring back slavery). Maybe Zoltan Istvan isn’t terrible, but I’d have to understand what the hell he was saying before making that decision.
Dude, Supreme is offering everyone a pony.
How can that be argued with?
N.B.: You can’t rely on government for everything; you have to cook it yourself.
Everson seems to be the least Conservative among those not actively crazy, and while I might prefer Zoltan’s or Vermin Supreme’s politics on controversial issues, I trust Everson more with the day to day functioning of the government.
Vermin Supreme…I love the name. Besides, JC says he’s offering a free pony in every pot, so that seals the deal.
Probably Vermin Supreme.
I’m dead serious. Even though I’m a registered Democrat I will not vote for Clinton.
All hail Zoltan the Transhumanist!
The only people on the list that I recognize are people I don’t particularly care for.
I suppose I’ll go with Vermin Supreme for entertainment value alone.