If there were a White Caucasian Heritage Month

If it wasn’t for the silliness of assuming there’s such a thing as “white Caucasian heritage” (outside the minds of white supremacists), I’d nominate the practice of putting mayonnaise in one’s coffee.*

*which thankfully as far as I know is confined to University of Kentucky quarterback Will Levis, who also claims to eat bananas skin and all, the browner the better.

As a complete but amusing aside, one of my work colleagues has an infant who has been keeping him up all night and this morning he (the colleague, not the infant) was so tired he did accidentally put mayo in his tea instead of milk. He did not drink it.

As for White Caucasian Heritage Month, I’ll file it with the Straight Pride Parade suggestions - people can have them if they want, but they will be (by accident or design) utterly missing the point of the exercise. It would end up being the equivalent of going down to the trophy store, buying one and having them put your own name on it.

They already do - it’s called “History Class”.

“World History”, as taught in America, is very very Euro-centric. It may touch on 3,000 years of progress in Southeast Asia; it may touch on very briefly Asia Minor of 3,000 years ago; it pretty much ignores Africa, pre-English Australia, Indian sub-continent; it will have a section on 2,000 years of pre-Columbian Americas. It then spends tons of time on the last 1,500 years of Europe and their effects on the rest of the world.

“American History” is all about post-Columbian North America. Again, a section on pre-columbian - maybe 10% of the class, if that; the rest of the time is spent on European settlers in America. Because people of European descent have held the reins of power in America, people of European descent have done most of the noteworthy things. The whole idea of “Black History Month” is to highlight the contributions of the minority.

That would make for an interesting history course; American History 101 that’s actually centered around the Americas.

Start with the first hunter-gatherers crossing over from Siberia during the ice age. Cover the rise of the Olmecs in Central America and how the Mayans rose and fell. Bring a focus to the US with discussions of the Mississippi mound builders and the Southwest pueblo builders. Talk about the rise of the Aztec Empire and the Incan civil war.

And then blam - the foreigners invade and civilization is wiped out by disease.

Unfortunately there is very little actual pre-Columbian history–history meaning written records. There’s tons of archaeological data but primary school students usually don’t take semester long, in-depth studies of archaeological research.

The Mayans who left the most complicated written language, only four of their codices survived into modern times. There’s additional examples of their writing in decorative writing on pieces of pottery and some buildings, but unfortunately nothing approaching the level of historical record we have gone back 2000 years in the West.

What specifically do you think is being left out in history classes when it comes to white immigrants?

Well that would be true if I were envious. I’m talking about equality. I’m not angry nor envious of blacks having their month.

Again I ask you, what specifically do you think is being left out in history classes when it comes to white immigrants?

You want equality? You would be willing to give up most of what you know have?

“Equal rights for Caucasians” is like eating 9/10 of the pie, then demanding an equal share the 1/10 of a pie still left in the pan.

It would be an interesting exercise to see if the organizers would be dismayed or delighted to discover that the vast majority of people attending such a parade would be the usual grab-bag of alt-right deplorables.

This also explains why there is Mother’s Day and Father’s Day but no Kid’s Day, and Labour Day but no Capitalist’s Day