If Toons Were Real

At work today, some coworkers were discussing cartoons/movies and one of them said that he’d “do Jessica Rabbit.” Which made me wonder, if toons were “real” like in the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, would they squeak like a balloon during sex?

Feel free to share your thoughts on this, and any other aspect of life if toons walked among us as they did in WFRR?.

Well, I’d definitely have me one 'o them 'toon cars. The insane driving would cut my commute time in half, and I wouldn’t even have to pay attention to the road.

Japan would be a much, much more “interesting” place. :eek:

The military would actually have “super-soldier” programs. (What with the access to beings with superhuman abilitie who couldn’t die)

Ralph Bakshi would be some kind of crazed cult leader.

“Furries” would be either really marginalized and discriminated against, or more-or-less accepted in the mainstream.

I’d be interested in learning how the Toons came to be, in the first place. Were they created by humans? Did they always exist in Earth? Have they always interacted with human society?


(LordHighMasterOfPortal) Cartooniverse


I wonder how much it would affect our respiratory health. I mean, cartoon characters breath in air, and breath out helium. Think about all of the cartoons where someone blows up balloons or a bubble from bubble gum and then uses the balloons/gum to float themselves, or someone else. I wonder if you voice would get a little more high pitched when having a conversation with a toon.

A toon is . . . two-dimensional, right? So if you look at one edgewise, does it become invisible? Or is it just that they look 2-D on the screen but they’re really 3-D?

My brain hurts . . .

I guess the OP should have specified. :wink:

IIRC, the toons in WFRR? were 3-D.

“I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.” Jessica Rabbit.

Not according to Cool World.

And how do we know that we’re not some extradimensional being’s toons, come to life?

That would explain my continual suspicion that the world doesn’t have enough sound effects…

A LOT depends on just how Toons are created, what their physical properties are, and what limitations there might be on what they can do. I’ve never read the original novel “Who Censored Roger Rabbit”, so I don’t know if that goes into the how of it. The movie doesn’t really touch on the subject except incidentally; it simply starts from the fantasy premise that animated cartoon characters exist in the real world and “cartoons” are just Toons being filmed like live actors.

From the movie alone, we can read between the lines and infer the following:[ul][li]Toons are created (or embodied?) by humans, they wouldn’t exist without us.[/li][li]They’re physically made, somehow, of ink and paint. They’ll dissolve in Dip, a mixture of turpentine, benzine and acetone.[/li][li]Except for Dip, they’re virtually indestructible (or at least can instantly regenerate from almost any level of damage).[/li][li]They are looked down upon and segregated from human society. Hollywood California is one of the few places in the world you’ll find them in great numbers.[/li][li]Many, if not most Toons behave in an abberent manner by human standards.[/li]Outside the film industry, they have limited utility.[/ul]I can only hypothesize that Toons are somehow outside the bounds of normal physical reality. They’re like solidified fantasies or hallucinations. Whatever the Toon creation process is, it must have extremely limiting drawbacks.

Baby, you have no idea.


Jessica Rabbit is very 3-D. :slight_smile:

I would say…more like - 36 DD. :smiley:

“Only if it was funny…”