Things that ahppen all the time in Animation that doesn't IRL

Cafe Society
1

Spent a lot of time watching cartoons with the kids today and noticed lots of things you see in animated shows that you mightn’t see a lot in real life:

  1. Lava - all over. In the evil guy’s lair as an accent, and he’s not even sweating!
  2. Mystic Chinese icons of power. Amulets, bracelets, scrolls. They’re practically falling out of the sky!
  3. Anoying Sidekicks.
  4. TV screens. The Evil lair is saturated with monitors EVERYWHERE!

heck, face it:

  1. Evil lairs. I can’t say I’ve ever enountered one in person, but they’re all over in Toonland. I wonder if they get their own section in the Want Ads?
2

People wearing the same outfit every day of their lives

3

Hammerspace.

4

An anvil isn’t too likely to fall out of the sky and land on you IRL. Nor a piano.

5

Thankfully, you don’t see people walking around fully dressed from the waist up, and absolutely nothing from the waist down. (Big white, puffy, gloves are optional)

6

The consequences of a shotgun blast to the face are usually a lot more amuisng in toonworld.

mm

7

If you ignore gravity, it’ll ignore you…until you look down.

8

Surely there is an internet site somewhere devoted to this very thing.

9

Painting a picture of a tunnel on the side of a mountain does not result in a real tunnel in real life.

10

Also, you know how when you’re running, your legs pinwheel beneath you, throwing up clouds of dust, but you don’t move at all for a few seconds and then you zip into the distance? That never happens in real life.

11

You don’t see people crashing through walls and leaving perfect outlines of themselves. Or running down a road that abruptly ends with a painted backdrop with the road painted in perspective and following the road right into the scenery. Damnn Roadrunner and Coyote were always violating the laws of physics. You don’t normally see talking, anthropomorphic animals, either. And you don’t see people’s eyeballs pop out of their head and fall to the ground or their tongues roll out of their mouth and hit the ground.

12

I very rarely take off with such speed as to leave a me-shaped cloud of dust behind.

13

Sure am glad Ren n Stimpy’s stuff isn’t IRL, waaaay too much detail. I also don’t think sponges are quite so anthropomorphic…nor are there clarinet playing squids.

14

Accordionation.

15

My dog cannot rotate his tail and take off like a helicopter, butt-first.

16

Usually, when you accidentally walk off a cliff, you figure it out after just one step, not several.

And when someone drops a rock or piano on your head, you don’t see sparkling stars or cute little birdies.

17

I’ve yet to run into a talking, anthropomorphic animal in real life.

I’m seriously disappointed by this.

18

No talking, talking, anthropomorphic animals? Well, thank goodness Marvin the Martian is real.

19

Things which explode in real life do not tend to bulge at the seams before detonation…

Also, I’ve yet to find the Acme Company’s catalogue of Cartoon Gadgets. I’m sure a pair of rocket-powered rollerskates or an uber-powerful magnet capable of dragging battleships inland across hundreds of kilometres of desert would be very useful at some point… :smiley:

20

Oh… really?

…Well, then. quickly scratches something off ‘evil revenge’ list, walks away whistling nonchalantly