If we named our children like Puritans.

You’ve got to hand it to the Puritans. They gave their kids some kick-ass names: Prudence, Patience, Flee-Fornication, Steadfast-on-High, etc.

If physics geeks named their kids like Puritans:

Conservation-Of-Mass
Continuity
Equivalence-Principle
Divergence
Vis-viva
Zeroth-Law-Of-Thermodynamics

I also think Inertia would be a beautiful name for a girl.

You know you want to name your kid like a Puritan!

Some “real world” ones:

Flatulence
Nudity
Disparity
Grievance
Enmity

Here’s my daughter-name pick:

Fluvial Morphology

My favorite Puritan name of all time: If-Christ-Had-Not-Died-Thou-Wouldst-Have-Been-Damned Barebones, father of Praise-God Barebones.

Modern Puritan names that kind of grab me:

Flee-From-Polyester Smith
Eschew-Cholesterol Smith
Always-Recycle Smith
Is-This-Lettuce-Organic Smith

Huh, I’d heard that ICHNDTWHBD was Praise-God’s brother. (And don’t forget the other brothers, Fear-God and Jesus-Christ-Came-Into-The-World-To-Save.)

I’m also told that people actually called him “Dr. Damned.” Apparently he wasn’t very popular.

Yes, I think you’re right, ** king of spain **. I was mistaken. I think the last name of “Barebones” is what really turns it into a rib-tickler. Unfortunately, you just don’t see those last names around much, these days.

These sources (neither of which exactly exudes credibilty) say that Praise-God Barebone named his son Hath Christ Not Died For Thee Thou Wouldst Be Damned Barebone. Hath Christ Not Died (yeah, we’re on a first-four-names basis) changed his name to Nicholas Barbon.

This source says brother, and names him as If Jesus Had Not Died For Thee &c. and this source concurs, noting another brother, Christ Came Into The World To Save.

So the account seems somewhat confused. :slight_smile:

I love the other suggestions, too, Enmity & Always-Recylce especially.

My husband wants to name our (hypothetical) daughter Impunity.

I always thought Audacity would be a nice name for a girl.

Yeah, Podkayne, I like “Continuity”…it sounds like a real Puritan moniker!

How about:

Entropy Fellowes (good name for my kid!)

Conservation-of-Momentum Smyth

Temperance-in-the-Face-of-Idiocy-on-the-SDMB Jones

For web developers:
Cross-Platform-Compatibility Potter (my fave)
Constant-Uptime Potter
Daily-Backup Potter
Reliable-Bandwidth Potter

Fully-Licensed-and-Registered-Software Gates.

For the history geeks…

Tensixtysix Smith
Rise-and-fall-of-the-Roman-Empire Smith
Wars-of-the-Roses Smith
Black Death Smith

.:Nichol:.

For those of us in the newspaper profession

Cutline Smith
Double Truck Turner
Pica Pole Potter
Running Head Rodgers
Stop-the-Presses Patterson

Empirically-Validated-Treatment
Tell-Me-About-Your-Mother
Standard-Deviation
You-Are-Getting-Sleepy
Praise-God-For-Haldol
May-I-See-Your-Insurance-Card
Empathy

And from my past life in radio

Dead Air Dawkins
Segue Smith
Live Remote Linerud
Backtime Bennett
Plus-Tax-And-Recappable-Tires Peterson
Barn-burning-blowout-sale Benton
Oldie-Moldie-Golden-Gasser O’Reilly
Twin-Spin Thompson
Screamin’-Yellin’-Foamin’-at-the-Mouth-Rock-n-Roll Jones

Do-Not-Feed-The-Troll Jones
ROFLMAO Smith

Preposition Smith
Adjective Smith
The-Proper-Possessive-Form-Of-Its-Does-Not-Have-An-Apostrophe-Dammit Smith

And for Gunslinger’s side, we could have
Flashbulb Smith
Aperture Smith

I was beat to Cutline.

The-Proper-Possessive-Form-Of-Its-Does-Not-Have-An-Apostrophe-Dammit Smith

LOL If little Inertia has a brother, this is the name!

Nothing to add, really; just wanted to give the OP props for recognizing a kick-ass name when they hear one. I have Prudence who’s four, and she is the most kick-ass baby on earth. :wink:

----Jane, who doesn’t brag about her kids much, so let it silde this once…