I think I remember seeing a thread about how people should hav to get liscenses to have kids. You know what? You all aren’t getting them until you come up with names no one will laugh it. Someone think of the children! 
Expressed-Written-Consent-of-Major-League-Baseball Smith
Any-Resemblence-to-Any-Actual-Living-Person-Living-or-Dead-is-Purely-Coincidental Johnson
From my field (biotech)
High-Throughput-Screening Smith
Protein-Array Smith
Rational-Drug-Design Smith
Burn-Rate Smith
Cash-Flow-Problems Smith
From theatre:
Be-Thrifty-With-Your-Glowtape-Lest-You-Light-Up-The-Stage-Like-Unto-An-Airplane-Landing-Strip Smith
Do-Not-Upstage-Thy-Brethren Smith
“Hold”-Means-Do-Not-Move-Not-Even-A-Little Smith
Touch-Not-The-Props-Of-Others Smith
Manda JO, Have you considered remarrying?
From the Scott McCloud school of cartooning theory:
Implied-Action-Takes-Place-In-The-Gutter Smith
Photoshop-Operations-Are-Not-Commutative Jones
Better-Inking-Means-Less-Futzing-Around-After-The-Scan Baker
The-Timeline-Is-Not-Necessarily-Linear Chang
Convenient-Online-Micropayments-Will-Change-The-World Potter
Advice names:
Bring-Only-Two-Suitcases-and-And-One-Carry-On Smith
Always-Wear-Clean-Underwear Smith
Wear-Comfortable-Shoes Smith
Brush-Side-To-Side-Not-Up-And-Down Smith
Never-Wear-White-After-Labor-Day Smith
Keep-An-Updated-Resume Smith
Annoyance Johnson
Diplomatic Immunity Thompson
Not Appropriate for Children Under Three Smith
Revenge is Best Served Cold Jones
Don’t Look at Porn at Work Green
Double Click Andrews
Don’t Touch That Dial Samson
I always thought it was Brush-Up-And-Down-Not-Side-To-Side. Oh oh.
Computing advice names:
Save-Frequently Smith
Keep-Your-Antivirus-Software-Updated Mather
Defrag-Is-Your-Friend Good
Occasionally-Empty-Your-Cache Friend
Don’t-Open-Unexpected-Attachments Smith
and lastly:
Your-Wife-Knows-How-to-Access-History-And-Knows-You’ve-Been-Visiting-Hot-Wet-Shemale-Giraffes-Dot-Com-You-Pervert Smith
Malignant Adams
Viral Pennington
Hematoma Holbrook
Munchausen-by-proxy Davenport
Does-this-look-infected Phipps
I just played the Puritan name-game with a King Jimmy Bible by opening it randomly, closing my eyes, and pointing my finger. Here’s what I got:
You-Lift-Up-My-Head Potter
For-I-Am-Very-Near-To-Falling Mather
Hosanna!-Blessed-Is-He-Who-Comes-In-The-Name-Of-The-Lord Smythe
As-For-The-Classes-Of-Gatekeepers Williams
I’ve always been rather partial to naming children after abstract qualities:
Encumbrance Mather
Dispossession Smythe
Fight-The-Good-Fight Williams
and one I always loved, and remember fondly some some book somewhere:
Notwithstanding Griswold
Be-Sure-To-Thouroughly-Chew-Your-Food Thompson
Keep-Away-From-Children Baker
Do-Not-Use-Near-Water Bronson
Cape-Does-Not-Enable-User-To-Fly Peterson
Geography Names:
Karst Jones
Universal-Transverse-Mercator Smith
Goode-Interrupted-Homolosine Brown
Longitude Taylor (I like that one…)
Continent Davis
Tropic-of-Capricorn Williams
Geek Name:
Air-Speed-Velocity-of-an-Unladen-Swallow Johnson
And names that save Mom time:
When-I-Get-My-Hands-On-You
Do-You-Have-To-Go-Potty-Now-Sweetie
Put-That-Down-Before-You-Hurt-Yourself
Would-You-Stop-Hitting-Your-Brother
Names for everyday life
Cross-Traffic-Does-Not-Stop Jones
We-Honor-Our-Competitors-Coupons Jones
Hi-Opal Jones
Oil-Should-Be-Changed-Every-Three-Thousand-Miles Jones
Lather-Rinse-Repeat Jones
Deco-Violation Jones
Safety-Stop Jones
B-C-Ditch-and-Don Jones
Buddy-Breathe Jones
May-I-Have-Your-DAN-Insurance-Number Jones
Buoyancy-Is-Always-Positive-The-Resultant-Is-Neutral Jones
Back-On-The-Boat-At-300-to-500-PSI Jones
Radiant-Heat-Loss-Is-Minimal-Compared-To-Water-Flow-And-Simple-Warming-So-Dont-Insist-On-Titanium-Fiber-Linings Jones
Nitrogen-Narcosis Jones
The offspring of the tech support geek (like THAT’s gonna happen):
Pascal Smith
Read-The-Flurkin’-Manual Johnson
Reboot Phillips
Linux Harrison
Scuzzy Thompson
Dongle James
Modular Green
Wake-on-LAN Brown
Compatibility Anderson
Fractal Simpson
Proprietary Jones
You’ve missed a classic:
Schadenfreude
also:
Contempt
Amicus
Wingman
and:
Rimshot[sup]*[/sup]
-
- from Doonesbury, one of Jimmy Thudpucker’s proposed names for his not-yet-born kid.
:eek::eek::eek: I thought you guys were joking about this. Unless this is part of some really elaborate whoosh. Crazy…
Cisco, Praise-God Barebone was an honest-to-God preacher and member of Oliver Cromwell’s Parliment. As for the putative names of his brothers and/or sons, I have not done enough research to satisfy myself as to their veracity.
Naming your daughters after virtues is nice, but I’ve always thought the vices need to be represented.
Gluttony and Avarice have a nice ring…