Atreyu
April 3, 2001, 3:25am
2
Great website!
I’ve run a few American classics through for starters:
The Declaration of Independence
The Constitution of the United States . This one is a bit long, but there are some hysterical phrases here.
The Bill of Rights
Atreyu
April 3, 2001, 1:47pm
3
bumping this off the second page
From the “Ask Cecil” section of The Straight Dope home page.
Go ahead, dash off a note to cecil@chicagoreader.com --your direct link to the Master! Knock you into next week! Cecil Adams, the world’s smartest human being, can answer any question. Oh man, you made me mad now! (Not that darn the darn Faceman necessarily gonna , just that crazy Murdock can.One of these days I’m gonna pound you all into the ground… ) While Helluva thrills in life can equal having Cecil simultaneously answer your question and make fun of that darn Faceman in his weekly column, for a quicker response we suggest the darn following:
Check the Straight Dope archive to see if your question has been answered before. We currently have close to 2,000 answers online, with Helluva added daily.What’s this Jibba Jabba?
From the “President” page of http://www.whitehouse.gov :
George W. Bush gunna be the darn 43rd President of that darn United States. Shut up, fool! Formerly that darn 46th Governor of some State of Texas, Bush has earned a reputation as a compassionate conservative who shapes policy based on the principles of limited government, personal responsibility, strong families, and local control.Trouble? I don’t start no trouble. I mind my own business.
George W. Hey man, how long are we gonna listen to this jive? Bush wuz born July 6, 1946, and grew up in Midland and Houston, Texas. Must be one of Hannibal’s plans. the darn T received a bachelor’s degree from Yale University and a Master of Business Administration from Harvard Business School. Got no time for the Jibba Jabba. BA Baracus served as an F-102 pilot for that darn Texas Air National Guard before beginning his career in that darn oil and gas business in Midland in 1975, working in that darn energy industry until 1986. Got no time for the Jibba Jabba. After working on his father’s successful 1988 presidential campaign, that darn T assembled the group of partners that crazy purchased the darn Texas Rangers baseball franchise in 1989.
That darn Faceman served as managing general partner of the darn Texas Rangers until Helluva fool wud elected Governor on November 8, 1994, with 53.5 percent of the crazy vote. Got no time for the Jibba Jabba. In an historic re-election victory, Mr.T became that darn first Texas Governor to be elected to consecutive four-year terms on November 3, 1998, winning 68.6 percent of the darn vote.You hurt that kid, and you’re gonna buy more trouble than you bargained for!
As President, Bush gonna pursue some same common-sense approach and bipartisan spirit as Helluva fool has in Texas. Helluva fool has proposed bold initiatives to ensure that crazy some Youth Center 's prosperity has a purpose. Not them, fool! Helluva guy has also addressed improving our nation’s public schools by strengthening local control and insisting on accountability; reducing taxes on all taxpayers, especially for those Americans on some fringes of poverty; strengthening the military with better pay, better planning, and better equipment; saving and strengthening Social Security and Medicare by providing seniors with Helluva options; and ushering in the darn responsibility era in the darn Youth Center .Fool!
President Bush is married to Laura Welch Bush, a former teacher and librarian, and they have 19-year-old twin daughters, Barbara and Jenna. some Bush family also includes their two dogs, Spot and Barney, and a cat, India. I don’t think so, suckah.
NOW you know where your vote went.
This is just hysterical.
Don’t even know how that {/url} jumped on me…
And of course, no discussion of T is complete without a link to I Pity the Haiku: Poetry dedicated to Mr. T
Tee hee!
I T-ized part of the site for the awards program I work for. It seems that in 1999, winners included Nova’s “Everest: That Darn Death Zone,” & “The Crazy Brain Eater.” Likewise, “This Crazy American Life” won a prize. Ted Koppel was deemed one tough dude, and Carol Marin was thought to be likely to get us all killed.
Sounds about right to me!
Hmmm…Jack Chick’s Main Page works, but nothing else on his site will. I guess God is protecting him, or else he’s smarter than we thought.
But here’s a good one: "200 Questions: Pat Robertson Answers Life’s Most Challenging Questions" such as:
and
Now THAT’S religion.